Chapter 22 – Distant Memories

“…So that’s the situation. That’s probably how Beryne is thinking about things.”

“Is that so? Everyone has their own way of thinking about things, don’t they?”

After returning home and settling down, when I explained the situation to Grace, she nodded with an impressed expression.

No, having someone think about things like that—Beryne alone is more than enough.

The matter Beryne brought up is something I need to seriously consider. The idea that I need to view it as a separate marriage prospect—that’s something only I need to do. If it moves forward, I’ll give it my all. If not, I’ll withdraw cleanly.

However, when it comes to discussing what happens from here on out, I think I need to tell Grace about this matter regardless of how it turns out.

“So with that as the premise, there’s something I need to ask you, Grace.”

“Y-yes”

When I looked at Grace with a serious expression, she straightened her posture as well.

The reason Grace is here with me now… is fundamentally because of the debt she owes to Mother for saving her.

That’s something I shouldn’t misunderstand.

I myself have been relying on Grace’s care all this time without being able to give anything back.

That’s why when we left home, I left the decision of what to do up to her will.

If I—create a place for myself in Termwills, that would become her place too.

But to secure Grace’s footing, that alone still isn’t enough. Because she’s a mixed-blood with Vampires, her position is quite unstable.

So what should I do?

The answer is simple. After I solidify my own position, as long as she agrees to it, that is.

Asking this… thinking about being rejected is scary. But even so.

If there’s someone I can entrust the Cursed Tool to after I’m gone, it can only be someone she herself chooses. …Or perhaps, that

family

(

..

)

or descendants. If that’s the case.

If she agrees. Then there’s room for me to stand by her side too.

“Grace said she would serve me. But I don’t like relying on you just because of your debt to Mother. If your reason for being here is out of obligation or work, that’s fine. But Grace’s own life, you can clearly separate that from those reasons.”

I paused my words, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Then opening them, I looked straight at her and spoke.

“But if Grace says that she’s fine with me being the one to walk alongside her. I want you to stay by my side forever.”

“…That, is”

Grace has a surprised expression, but. To avoid misunderstandings, I should say this properly.

“I want you to marry me. It’ll probably be something for the future though.”

Something for the future—unless I solidify my own footing more, it would become a meaningless discussion for Grace’s future.

“…I understand what you’re saying”

Grace closed her eyes as she answered.

With a praying heart, I waited for her answer.

Others—no matter what anyone thinks. Being rejected by Grace—.

“From my side as well… before giving my answer, there’s something I absolutely need to tell Theodore-sama first.”

She also with a somewhat tense expression, took a deep breath.

“I’m not here just because of my debt to Lisa-sama”

Grace began to speak.

About Mother, and me and Grace. About the day we first met.

“I—had lost my parents, and was wandering with nowhere to go. A mixed-blood child has no place to rely on anywhere. If I tried to mix into human society, I’d be chased away with stones and stakes. No one, would ever extend a hand to me. But well, I think that’s unavoidable. My hands—could easily kill people.”

That must have been from before she had the Cursed Tool.

“I was always hungry. But I hated seeing people as food. So I was afraid of everything, and hid living in the forest until Lisa-sama picked me up. I had bloodsucking impulses, but since I’m half human. I could survive on normal food alone. It was very… painful.”

“…Yeah”

I had been taught about that.

Even if you satisfy your appetite, it’s only the “half” part. Apparently now she suppresses the characteristic itself with the Cursed Tool so that’s not an issue anymore.

“The day I first met Lisa-sama—I don’t think Theodore-sama remembers. But you noticed me before Lisa-sama did. The small Theodore-sama being held by Lisa-sama, when your eyes met mine in the bushes… you smiled at me. That was the first time anyone other than my own mother had done that. It made me so happy… and sad. Before I knew it, my heart was full and I was crying.”

“That is…”

Because she’s a Dhampir, she wasn’t accepted by people. I understand that.

But just because I, whether as a baby or toddler, smiled when our eyes met.

Isn’t that just… coincidence?

As if understanding what I wanted to say, Grace smiled and shook her head slightly.

“Because that happened, Lisa-sama also noticed me… and gave me this Ring. Gave me a place to belong. That’s why these hands of mine can soothe a child without hurting them. Theodore-sama, no matter what appearance I showed, you were never once afraid of me. You never… despised me. Do you understand how much that saved me?”

Grace placed a hand on her chest and said.

“Since Theodore-sama told me you want me by your side… I’ll say it too. From long ago until now—I’ve always remained wretched. When the backlash of bloodsucking impulses manifests as hunger, I told you about that. Now even if there’s backlash from bloodsucking impulses, I don’t get hungry. What do you think is the difference? Do you understand what the impulse originates from?”

What it originates from?

…Ah. That’s what it is. One purpose of Vampires sucking blood is for meals. They seek prey because they’re hungry. Simple story.

But there’s another meaning there. In other words… increasing their companions.

If Grace is by my side, she becomes satisfied and the impulse calms down. Where the impulse originates from, what it converts to as backlash—if you think about it simply, isn’t it obvious?

…No, I suppose I’d rather have her explain it. Even if I thought of it myself, I’d probably dismiss it as conceited self-consciousness.

“Saying I feel unsettled, that’s just an excuse, isn’t it? After Theodore-sama told me I didn’t need to help with changing clothes or bathing anymore, I’ve been thinking about it all along, so I was gradually understanding what it was.”

…Grace isn’t the same as when she was little either. With growth, there must have been changes in her feelings toward me and increases in knowledge.

What would be the right way to express her own feelings? When she holds me, her backlash resolves. The reason for that too, and the proper words to express it. She probably gradually understood.

“If I could ease Theodore-sama’s anxiety like when you were small… I thought maybe that would be fine too, I was the one taking advantage of kindness. I was scared that if I properly conveyed it, Theodore-sama might push me away…”

Grace closed her eyes painfully.

Because of the Cursed Tool, harming her master is impossible.

But the fact that she feels that way doesn’t change.

“So after saying all that, I’ll ask. Is someone wretched like me really okay?”

Asked by Grace in a timid manner, but my answer is decided.

“As I said earlier. I don’t think there’s any problem with that.”

“Theodore… sama”

“If it’s bloodsucking impulses originating from those feelings, then of course I’d only be happy to be the target?”

I can feel my face heating up as I say it. …How embarrassing, really.

Stopping yourself from liking someone—that’s impossible.

The fear of having your feelings rejected after conveying them—that’s exactly the Fear I felt before broaching the subject with Grace.

Those feelings—Grace probably feels them even more strongly.

“Is it really… okay? Someone like me? I’ll definitely, absolutely cause you trouble.”

She asks with a dazed expression.

“Grace is fine. I’ll probably cause Grace trouble and worry too.”

“Th-that kind of thing… ah, ah. Is it about what Beryne-sama said earlier?”

“Well… that might be part of it too”

Grace smiled and shook her head.

“Anyone at all would certainly… be a bit troubling. But if it’s Ashley-sama, I can accept it, and I feel a little happy too. I want to support that person as well.”

“…Is that so?”

“Yes. Ashley-sama probably, to Theodore-sama—”

Grace stopped mid-sentence and shook her head slightly.

“…I’ll stop there. I think Ashley-sama is the one who should tell Theodore-sama that, not me.”

…I wonder what that is. I’m a bit curious. When I looked at Grace, she just narrowed her eyes somewhat mischievously.

The two of them must have talked about various things at Silrun’s mansion too… maybe there was some exchange I don’t know about. That might be why they get along so strangely well.

“Theodore-sama?”

“Yeah”

“Your name—can I call you like I used to? At least, just for now?”

“…Sure”

That kind of thing. If Grace wants it, anytime is fine.

When I smiled at her, Grace also smiled happily and said.

“—Thank you, Theo”