Chapter 18: Killer?

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

Fortunately, there’s still time.

Before calling me, Mom started putting the side dishes she brought into the refrigerator.

There’s still a chance!

I stretched my body long and entered the house through the hole.

I stuck tightly to the ceiling and moved like a snake.

I quietly extended a tentacle to grab the smartphone…

Mom turned around!

I’m a snake toy made of Slime. There are no children in the house, but I put it on the ceiling.

Fortunately, Mom’s gaze was focused on the bag on the floor and she didn’t look at the ceiling.

Smartphone secured!

Suppressing my growing anxiety, I quietly moved to the next door house through the hole.

I just slumped onto the floor.

It’s a huge relief that I don’t sweat!

Although there’s no pressure sensor on the floor!

This is no time to be doing this.

The hole is still open. What if the phone rings from next door as soon as Mom calls? It might be a coincidence, but wouldn’t it be suspicious?

Why on earth would I be next door? Because my girlfriend lives next door?

Huh?

Is causing such a misunderstanding actually better?

If she thinks I’m with my girlfriend, won’t she just go home instead of asking to meet?

Surely she wouldn’t break into the house next door.

If she thinks I’m so engrossed with my girlfriend that I don’t come home or contact her, she might be a little disappointed, but I think she’d understand.

Ah, I don’t know! Whether I use the girlfriend strategy next month or not, right now, block the hole!

As soon as I blocked the hole, the phone rang.

It’s also strange to answer right away, so let it ring for a bit.

My house is quite soundproofed, so with the hole blocked now, the sound won’t carry.

“Yeah. Mom. What’s up?”

-I came to refill the side dishes, but you’re not home?

“I came out because I had something to do.”

It wasn’t a lie. I actually came next door to produce and package items.

“You should have called before coming.”

If she had, I would have made a more solid plan!

-When are you coming home?

“It looks like I’ll be quite late.”

To be specific, about 30 minutes after Mom leaves.

-What kind of work is it?

“Work that makes money. I’m doing well these days, you know? So I have a lot of work.”

-Is it outdoor filming?

“Not that. Just various things.”

-That video. I heard it wasn’t manipulated, but it’s not, right?

“Mom. A human would die if they ate like that.”

But I eat like that because I’m a Slime, not a human.

-They also said it’s possible if you use some kind of medicine?

“Medicine, what medicine? It’s enough even without medicine, so why would I use a method that seems so bad for my health?”

-Then how do you do it?

“Family business secret.”

-Son. I’m your mother.

“Anyway, it’s a secret. The viewers’ dreams must be protected. You’re a viewer too, right? You didn’t forget to hit ‘Like’ and ‘Subscribe’, did you?”

-Of course. Of course I watch. It’s nice because it reminds me of when my son was little. The comments are a bit….

“Just ignore them. I don’t care either. There’s a saying about fame, right? It can’t be helped. But where on earth in that appearance does it remind you of my childhood?”

I don’t think I’ve ever looked like a penguin Slime at any point in my life?

-You look exactly alike?

Was I just not aware of it, and I actually looked like a penguin Slime?

Is that why I didn’t have a girlfriend?

Or did I not have a girlfriend despite that?

I can’t tell if it’s a compliment or not.

-Especially the part about acting ignorantly, without regard for others’ opinions, and without thinking ahead.

It was an insult!

Not about my appearance, though.

-And it’s nice to see that you’re enjoying it.

“Yeah. It’s fun.”

I didn’t know, but I guess I have quite a bit of an attention-seeking streak.

It feels pretty good when others pay attention to me and make a fuss about what I’ve done.

Oh right. I shouldn’t be like this.

Next thing you know, I’ll be saying I’m going to do a live broadcast for real-time communication or something.

-We talked for too long. You’re busy, right?

“Well….”

-Come home often. And call often.

“Mom. There’s a great saying in the world that ‘no news is good news’….”

-Son.

“Sorry. But I’ll send gifts often. I’ll send a few new products released by Alchemy Slime this time.”

-For Mom, seeing her son’s healthy face is a gift.

Sorry, Mom.

That seems like it will be difficult for quite a while.

“They say the <Pack Slime> coming out this time is so good for the skin? If you put it on a face with makeup, the makeup comes off, it has the effect of washing your face, and it even has the effect of applying toner and lotion and a pack?”

-I take back what I said earlier. For Mom, sending a lot of those is a bigger gift than seeing her son’s face.

“Mom!”

-What’s the point of seeing a grown son’s face? The face you see in the mirror every day is more important.

“That’s true.”

-Let’s hang up now. Call me.

“Okay.”

The call ended and some time passed.

Only after hearing the sound of the door opening and closing and the sound of footsteps fading far away did I peek into my house.

The items I had carelessly thrown around were tidied up.

She could have just left them.

……Should I tell her?

I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

Something bluish, in human form but translucent, was there.

When I used the [Control] skill, the snake looked at me.

“…No.”

What Mom wants to see is her son’s healthy face.

Not a monster that can turn its body into a snake.

***

“Hello everyone! The man who buys and reviews hot items these days. Tto.Sat.Nam! is here.

With just this, goodbye foot odor~ goodbye dead skin~. Goodbye athlete’s foot~. I’ve reviewed the famous <Insole Slime> and the renewed product <Insole Slime+>.

July 17th!

Three types of derivative products are being newly released starting today, so I came out to buy them like this.

Because hot items taste best when you buy and use them while they’re hot!”

“The current time is 12:05 AM.

Actually, I wanted to come out early in the morning too, but after seeing the review video for <Pack Slime>, I thought I’d end up reviewing cold items if I did, so I came out this early.

But!

Look.

There’s already someone sitting on a fishing chair, waiting.

Oh? It’s a man?

Did you perhaps come to buy <Insole Slime+>?

I’ll go and interview him.

Excuse me. Are you filming-“

“I’ve received permission to film. You came out incredibly early, what did you come to buy?”

“I came to buy <Pack Slime>.”

“Is it perhaps a gift for your wife?”

“Yes…. I got caught after buying a fishing rod. If I don’t buy this today, I can’t go home.”

“Oh dear. But according to rumors, they say this is really good. You’ll definitely be loved.”

“That old hag-“

“Yes! That’s what he says!”

“Have you ever lined up like this to buy something since the day before?”

“I’ve lined up to buy limited edition reels before, but this is the first time lining up since the day before. What in the world is <Pack Slime> that I have to go through this hardship? No, if you think about it, my wife also-“

“Yes! That’s what he says!”

“Everyone. Good morning. Can you see the line? Can you feel this hot energy? It’s already getting warm and heated up.

You might ask why we go through this hardship for items that can be bought online, but there’s a reason, of course. According to the announcement from the Seoul Central Alchemy Center, the number of items one person can buy per category is 3. This is the same online and offline.

But! There’s an advantage only offline has. That is ‘time!’ Online, a shopping cart? There’s no time to put items in something like that. The moment the product goes up, you have to press the purchase button immediately.

That means you can only buy one item at most.

Offline? It’s different. Since the number of people who can access simultaneously is limited, you can leisurely put items in your shopping cart and calmly make the payment.

There are four types of hot items, and Tto.Sat.Nam! shouldn’t be satisfied with just one.

I came to this offline store like this to buy all four types.”

“I finally got my hands on it! To package this precious item like this, it’s like indoor shoes for school or something. Personally, I’d give the packaging a minus rating. But what’s important isn’t the packaging, but how hot the product is, right? I’ll go back right away and check the temperature to see if it’s Jal.Sat.Nam! or Tto.Sok.Nam!”

“<Insole Slime D>. This is lukewarm. That doesn’t mean it’s bad. If I hadn’t tried <Insole Slime+>, I would have jumped around saying it was hot. But after experiencing <Insole Slime+>, as well as <Insole Slime> which is much cheaper than this, it feels quite lukewarm. Still, the durability has definitely increased, so I’ll give it a ‘Pottery Kiln’ rating.”

“HOT! HOT! SO HOT! Everyone, this is crazy! They should arrest this Alchemy Slime person for arson. They should lock them up and make them only make <Pack Slime>.”

“Sorry, I’ll take that back, cancel.

(Everyone, the PD just glared at me intensely. He used to walk around with a skunk instead of feet. After trying <Insole Slime+>, he’s gone crazy for it.)”

“Honestly, when I saw the review video for <Pack Slime>, I thought it was ridiculous? Okay, so it removes makeup. A lot of good cleansing products come out these days. But it has the effect of applying toner and lotion and even a pack? There’s a limit to all-in-one.”

“But look at this video I filmed. Can you see the makeup disappearing? It really disappears in an instant? And what’s really amazing about this is that it’s incredibly light and doesn’t suffocate you. It has tons of tiny air holes, so it doesn’t feel stuffy? It doesn’t irritate the eyes either, so you can keep them open normally. After the makeup is gone, my skin feels like a bouncy ball. A bouncy ball. If it’s this good, could I possibly hold back?”

“Ta-da. Nobody collects these stickers these days, so I tried sticking them on my cheeks and face. I even did special effects makeup on top of that. This way, it won’t just come off. You have to melt it off. I’ll experiment with <Pack Slime> to see how quickly it removes it.”

“Don’t try this at home, everyone. The <Pack Slime> died. But it was a death with value. It cleanly removed not only the special effects makeup but also the stickers, and turned my face into a baby’s face. Ah, did I go too far?”

“Since I’m also a broadcaster, I do makeup often, so I definitely need to buy this for my house.”

“Following <Insole Slime+>, I’ll give <Pack Slime> a ‘Blast Furnace’ rating as well!”

“<Pack Slime C> is definitely less effective. The texture is also like that, a bit more like a toy. Measuring the temperature myself would be inaccurate, so I’ll recruit a child for the review next time!”

“Jal.Sat.Nam! was here! Thank you for watching the long video!”

***

<Insole Slime D> 9,800 won.

<Insole Slime+> 19,800 won.

<Pack Slime> 14,800 won.

<Pack Slime C> 4,900 won.

These are the final decided prices.

The products produced are,

<Insole Slime D> 1,500 units.

<Insole Slime+> 5,000 units.

<Pack Slime> 5,900 units.

<Pack Slime C> 1,500 units.

Before, our Gongdori told Counselor Park Taeyang that he could make 12,000 products. This is 12,000 pairs, which is correct when counted as 24,000 items. 15% is removed due to safety inspection, so that’s 20,400 items. We carefully filled that number and produced 13,900 products.

Not all 13,900 items were sold.

Because there were items set aside to be consumed in the experience space.

Still, since the alchemy center covers the advertising costs, this is also revenue for me.

208,370,000 won. Roughly 210 million won.

Normally, 40% of the Grade D Alchemist commission should be deducted from this.

Surprisingly, it hasn’t even been a month since I got my Grade F Alchemist license. That’s why the commission is zero.

Material costs should be deducted here, but we decided to deduct this from the alchemy waste disposal costs. The material costs won’t exceed the waste disposal costs, so additional money will come in every month.

In any case, the additional money going out is zero.

210 million won, money that doesn’t even require paying taxes.

I earned that in a single day.

“This is crazy.”

Even if I do nothing, 200 million won comes in every day.

Of course, this won’t last forever.

After this Friday passes, I’ll have to start paying commission.

And sales of <Insole Slime+> will decrease before long.

Because its effect is enhanced, athlete’s foot will be cured in a week. And since athlete’s foot is a contagious disease, once the number of cases starts to decrease, it decreases exponentially.

<Insole Slime+> will soon be replaced by <Insole Slime D>. Even that will become an item only used by those who need it.

Still, sales seem likely to be maintained throughout this week.

At least 1 billion won will come in this week!

After taxes, it’s more money than winning the lottery!

“I’m rich!”

A millionaire. Because a millionaire means having 1 billion won in assets!

“So?”

The tension I’d managed to build up drops sharply.

What good is having 1 billion won?

What will I do with that money while being a slime?

Buy a house. Buy a car. Get married.

Unless someone sells a medicine that turns a slime into a human.

At most, I’ll buy monster materials and level up.

“Is this life or a game?”

Once my savings exceeded a certain amount, even with money coming in, my life as a slime didn’t change much.

Anyway, I can’t buy monster materials that are too expensive.

Such items are generally dangerous, and you need qualifications to handle them.

Like a Grade C Alchemist license.

“Let’s just level up.”

While making <Explosive Web Slime>, the phone rang.

“Yes, this is Alchemy Slime.”

-Hello. This is Officer Park Taeyang. Congratulations on the sell-out.

“It’s thanks to Counselor Park Taeyang’s efforts. Thank you.”

-Not at all. It’s thanks to the Alchemist-nim for creating Slime-nim and inventing good products.

“What’s the point if the item is good? It only has meaning if people know about it.”

Enough flattery for now.

“But did something happen?”

-That’s not the case.

“Then what is it?”

-Alchemy Slime-nim. Are you perhaps interested in taking the Grade C Alchemist exam?

He wants me to take a face-to-face exam?

This Park Taeyang person keeps trying to drag me out of the house.

Is he a Killer?