Chapter 35: New product brainstorming.

It’s not that my gaming skills are lacking.

The computer specs just weren’t enough to cover the skills of three people.

So I bought a new computer.

With the best specs available.

I sorted by price, highest first, and bought every expensive one… or, well, not quite.

Even I know that if you buy like that, you end up with a server-grade computer.

I just left it to the experts.

And so, two computers arrived.

Why did I buy two computers when I don’t even have friends to invite over?

One’s for Minesweeper, the other’s for watching WTube.

Just kidding.

“Thank you for the meal.”

I swallowed an entire computer whole.

[Analyze skill level has increased to 25.]

Next up, it’s not plugging in the remaining computer and surfing the internet all day.

I peeled off the case and ate it.

The case part, that is.

None of the cases matched my vibe.

So I decided to eat it.

The place I ordered from sent me a video of them assembling it, and it looked like a real hassle.

I almost feel bad about it.

All I need is the guts.

But I can’t exactly ask them to assemble it without the case, can I?

The shell is gone, and only the guts remain.

When I removed the triple-fan water cooler, the CPU peeked its head out.

I’ve only ever used budget CPUs, so I don’t even know what 8+16 cores really means, or how powerful it actually is.

I know it’s good if the max clock or L3 cache is high, but I don’t really know what that means.

I just figured, the most expensive must be the best, so I bought it.

The one thing I do know.

The lower the CPU temperature, the better.

I poured Slime onto the CPU.

From now on, all the heat the CPU emits will be [Absorbed] and [Converted] by the Slime.

No need for an expensive cooler.

So why did I buy one anyway?

For the vibes.

I reattached the cooler and turned my attention to the graphics card.

This thing alone boasts a price over three million.

I took it apart and covered the board directly with Slime.

I’d love to just get rid of the case, but then it might not work.

Huh? Where did the screws go?

Let’s just stick it together with Slime.

Lastly, I poured Slime into the 1,600W power supply.

With that, all the coolers are now equipped with Slime.

Connect all the cables, put the computer tower inside a giant Slime, and done!

Plug in the power strip, turn it on, and mash F2.

Set everything so every part gets plenty of voltage.

Set it so the fans stop when the temperature drops below a certain point, then boot up.

The familiar screen flies by, and it’s ready to use.

I installed and ran a performance testing program.

The temperature. A stable 20 degrees. Nice.

<Cooling Slime>

-A Slime that absorbs external heat and generates electricity. If the room temperature is lower than the base temperature, charging is unavailable. I’m So COOL~~~! But sometimes, it tingles.

I could probably sell this, right?

The design is nice, there’s no worry about fire, the temperature stays reliably low, there’s zero noise, and the heat [Absorbed] is [Converted] to electricity, so you could use it to charge your smartphone.

To get a cooling system like this, you’d have to spend at least five hundred thousand. Considering the Slime’s performance, I could probably sell each one for seven hundred thousand won.

“Ah.”

I just had a great idea.

I added more Slime to the <Cooling Slime> to make it bigger. Pulled out a tentacle from the <Cooling Slime>, flattened it out to make a table for the keyboard and mouse, then pulled out another tentacle to place the monitor on.

I slipped right in between and buried myself in the Slime.

The Slime gently supports my body.

The mouse and keyboard are right where I want them, and the monitor is in front of my eyes.

Now this is a true gaming chair.

Is it called a bead sofa? I heard that when you lie on a sofa made of tons of tiny beads, it molds to your body. People say it’s super comfortable, but my <Cooling Slime> is even better.

Since you could get hypothermia, if I add a temperature control function to the <Cooling Slime>, that’s game over. There might even be a new tribe of Slime-dwellers who only get up to go to the bathroom or get delivery food.

I’ll decide later whether to sell it.

With the mouse, keyboard, and monitor included, I poured in enough money to buy thirty entry-level computers.

Three people’s worth of body, and a computer thirty times more expensive.

Today, I become a legend of the battlefield.

Riiing.

Ugh, what a buzzkill.

“This is Alchemy Slime.”

-This is Counselor Park Taeyang. Do you have a moment right now?

“Yes, yes.”

-I’m calling because there’s something you need to know.

“I’m listening.” -The law will be amended soon.

“That’s sudden.”

Currently, I am a Grade D Alchemist.

To get a Grade C Alchemist license, you have to take a face-to-face exam.

Even with the [+Courage] buff, I have no intention of going for the Grade C Alchemist license.

They’ll check my face.

I might be able to hide my insides, but there’s no way to hide my Slime skin.

I have no intention of showing that to anyone but my family.

Before that, I’m not even qualified to take the Grade C Alchemist license exam.

You need at least three years of experience as an alchemist, but I haven’t even been at it for half a year.

Last time I coughed up a <Curse Fragment>. The Seoul Central Alchemy Center promised to make me a Grade C Alchemist.

A clause says if the number of items sold exceeds the standard, it will count as experience.

Another clause says if I receive an Alchemy Medal, I’ll be exempt from the alchemist exam.

They’ll add those two to the alchemy law and give me a medal, so I can get the Grade C Alchemist license.

Laws don’t change overnight. Even if it’s fast, I figured it’d be announced at the end of this year, and I’d get the license sometime next year.

But you’re saying it’s already happening?

-Do you know tennis player Yang Geonwoo?

“All I know is he mentioned <Insole Slime> after winning in the round of sixteen.”

-Judging by Yang Geonwoo’s movements and his opponent’s condition, I expect he’ll make it to at least the semifinals.

What does Yang Geonwoo’s performance have to do with me?

“Are you planning to give Yang Geonwoo a medal?”

-That’s right.

“Since he publicly said he got help from <Insole Slime>, I do have a stake in his success. This is the perfect timing to give me a medal.”

-That’s right.

When the government does something, justification is always important.

Stories about how <Slime> made by Alchemy Slime increased Korean tourists by 20% or caused a surge in airline ticket reservations aren’t very intuitive. Tourists could have increased for other reasons.

On the other hand, when an athlete active on the world stage directly picks <Insole Slime> as the reason for their victory, that’s very easy to understand.

“Giving a medal and then amending the law, versus changing the law first and then awarding the medal. They do feel different.”

Both give the impression of favoritism toward a particular person, but which side feels like they hold the initiative is different.

The former feels like they’re hastily changing the law just for me, the medal recipient. So it can look like I’m the one holding the initiative.

The latter feels like the government is in control, awarding me the medal after changing the law.

If handing over a bit of initiative means things get done faster, that’s good for me.

“Grade C Alchemist. The safety inspection rate definitely dropped to 10%, right?”

-Yes.

For goods sent by a Grade D Alchemist, 15% undergo safety inspection and are disposed of. If that drops to 10%, that means 5% more stock can be sold.

Isn’t 5% a bit stingy?

“Then we can increase production by 50%.”

-…Pardon?

“Safety inspectors’ workload is cut by two-thirds, right? If we boost production by 50%, they’ll have the same amount of work as now.”

-If the current schedule continues, they’ll collapse.

“Just hire more people. Job creation. Isn’t that a good thing?”

Even if not just anyone can do safety inspections, that’s fine.

There are plenty of highly educated people who want to be public officials, so if you post a recruitment notice for inspectors, they’ll flock to apply.

Saying there’s not enough budget is nonsense.

I make about 370 million won a day. That means I pay about 240 million won a day just in commissions. That’s equivalent to a company with annual sales of 87.6 billion won, so shouldn’t there be at least 250 people dedicated just to me?

-We can’t just hire anyone, so there’s a verification process, and that’s difficult.

“Ah, that’s true.”

They say if you gather five people, at least one is trash.

Even if you split them into groups of four to avoid this, if there are more than five teams, at least one team is trash.

The more people you have, the more likely you are to have someone who causes trouble.

Some people might get hired with malicious intent from the start.

Like industrial spies.

There is a miracle solution to this manpower shortage: me becoming a Grade A Alchemist.

Even as a Grade B Alchemist, only 5% of products require safety inspection. That’s half the workload compared to Grade C.

And Grade A Alchemist? The safety inspection rate is 0%.

If it’s something that can be mass-produced, just one-the very first one-needs to pass inspection. If it can’t be mass-produced, it’s exempt from inspection entirely.

Of course, getting the license must be tough, right?

It’s so hard that Korea isn’t even authorized to issue the license.

“So I’ll get my Grade C license in about a month. Got it.”

-Alchemy Slime-nim.

“No.”

-Could you attend the [20xx Alchemy Day] ceremony?

“No.”

-Many people attend with their faces covered.

“Really?”

-An alchemist’s identity is confidential.

“Then it’d be better not to invite me at all.”

-….

“I guess there are a lot of people who insist on taking photos no matter what.”

-Please understand.

“If I can cover my face, I suppose I could go.”

-Really?

“There isn’t a rule that says you have to take off your mask when greeting people backstage, is there?”

-…There’s no such rule, but there are some people who are particular about etiquette.

“I’m not going.”

I hung up the phone.

Counselor Park Taeyang didn’t call back, so maybe he was just testing me.

I looked up footage from last year’s event.

Quite a few people actually attended with their faces covered.

And plenty didn’t show up at all.

It’s a bit of a shame. If it weren’t for the demand to reveal my face, I’d go.

“Stop.”

If it weren’t for the demand to reveal my face, I’d go?

It’s a shame?

“Is this what ambition for fame feels like?”

The desire to make a name for yourself by achieving something great.

It’s a very dangerous feeling.

History is full of kings who ruined their countries chasing after immortal fame.

“I never cared about honor or ambition for fame.”

But now that I’m famous, I’m starting to feel it.

I’d better be careful.

I tore open a bag of snacks on my desk and dumped the whole thing into my mouth.

All right, let’s get back in the mood and play some games.

–

“Carry~”

I knew it, my computer specs just aren’t good enough.

My damage output is about to break the graph. It’s going to break through.

So why am I not getting any honors?

***

[Me: Is there anything you want to eat?

Makina: ?

Me: I’m brainstorming edible slime ideas but nothing’s coming to mind.]

<Gargle Slime> is just too strong. It tastes good, and the effects are insane.

A slime that solves both cavities and constipation at once?

To beat that, it’d need to melt fat off, make you taller, or cure hair loss.

I’ve come up with ideas for slimes with those effects, but the thing is, if you don’t follow the intended use and instructions, it feels like something terrible could happen. And I’ve never seen anyone use my <Slime> as intended.

But if I make an edible slime with only moderate effects, it’ll probably just get buried like <Explosive Web Slime>.

If the effects are weak, at least the taste should be amazing. It should be so good that if two people eat it, one would try to kill the other to have it all. But that’s easier said than done.

[Makina: Coffee.

Me: Are you sleepy?

Makina: Not really.

Me: Coffee, huh.

Me: A slime with a wake-up effect?]

<Awakening Slime>

-A slime that instantly wakes you up when you eat it. But with that level, grade, and ability, can you even get sleepy?

This one could also be a problem if you take too much.

[Makina: Or something fun to eat.

Me: Food that’s fun?

Makina: (photo)

Makina: You can make snacks that can’t be reproduced by any other means.

Makina: Unique features are a powerful weapon.

Me: Ah, I get it.

Me: Thanks for the good idea.

Me: That’s Makina for you.]

To attract kids’ interest, food companies put out all sorts of products.

Unique shapes like dice candy, unusual textures like popping candy, candies you can play with like bubble gum, or even sweets hidden inside toys.

Oh, there’s one more.

Putting random stickers inside bread.

Oops. I’ll think about product ideas later.

For now, I need to focus on the game.

[Me: Hey. Can you stop knocking?

Me: No, I’m not saying you should raid the workers!

Me: Just let me off the hook this once.

Me: Can you come back in ten minutes?

Makina: noob.

Makina: lolololol

Me: Do it again.

Me: This time I mean it.

Me: Spare me.

Makina: Spec up?

Makina: lololololol.

Me: I’m really serious this time.

Me: I’m going into Asura mode.

Me: Even if I had ten heads, it wouldn’t be enough!

Me: How many are you even sending at once!!!

Makina: lololol

Me: gg.

Makina: hehe.

Me: You’re doing this on purpose.

Mikana: zzz.]

***

After playing to my heart’s content with Makina, I set out to brainstorm product ideas.

Taste and fun. And among those, this product was born from focusing especially on fun.

<Random Jelly Slime (Mild Flavor)>

-A slime whose flavor you can’t know until you put it in your mouth. Since it’s mild, half of them are filled with sweetness.

Rather than adding a half-baked effect, I’ll just give up on effects entirely!

It’s not an alchemy potion, just a snack.

It’s about the size of gold foil chocolate, and the texture is similar to a plum.

Since it’s my first food product, I’ll go with a mild flavor. There’s no weird or unpleasant taste, it’s basically sweet.

I debated between candy and jelly, but since it’s an Alchemy Slime product, I went with jelly.

I’m thinking of pricing it at about 500 won each. The Seoul Central Alchemy Center sets the prices, but if I ask for 500 won, they’ll probably agree. It’s not something with medicinal effects anyway.

Not something good for your skin.

Not something that relieves constipation.

Not something that boosts vitality!

It’s just a plain old <Jelly Slime>.

It’s so ordinary that it might even be a bit disappointing.

But at least the price is nice.

So maybe it’ll sell okay?