Chapter 61: <Humidifier Slime>

The graduate student opened the capsule of the newly arrived <Humidifier Slime>.

Inside, a penguin slime in a suit stood with its arms outstretched and its head held high.

It gives off a bit of an opera singer vibe.

‘Did I win something?’

Judging by the fact that they’re sold in capsules, there must be other designs as well.

The graduate student didn’t bother looking them up.

The price is 69,900 won. Basically, that’s 70,000 won.

According to the included manual, the usage period is one month.

It’s widely known that feeding a <Slime> extends its lifespan.

This <Humidifier Slime> should last for about six weeks, too.

Capacity is 3L. It says it can humidify a room of about 3 pyeong for one day.

‘Isn’t that a bit expensive?’

For a humidifier that holds 3L of water and automatically sterilizes, it’s common for the price to exceed 100,000 won. But those humidifiers can usually be used for years.

The lifespan of this <Humidifier Slime> is one month. At most, six weeks. That’s 11,500 won per week-a pretty hefty sum.

Maybe that’s why the <Humidifier Slime> sells out more slowly than other <Slimes>.

Like courses that are fifth or sixth choice during course registration.

The graduate student gave the <Humidifier Slime> some water.

As water was stuffed into its small body, its belly gradually grew.

After bringing it to her room and placing it on her desk, it started spraying water from its upturned mouth.

The graduate student has a slightly sadistic side.

When she pressed down on the <Humidifier Slime>’s belly, the water sprayed out faster.

Pushing even harder, the speed increased until the water shot out like a water gun.

Water went into its smiling mouth.

She reflexively tried to spit it out, but stopped.

There was no tap water smell, nor any of the murky feeling you get from water stored in a plastic container.

It was as refreshing as drinking cold mineral water that perfectly matches your taste.

The graduate student put the <Humidifier Slime> in her mouth and bit down.

Water came pouring out.

Gulp, gulp.

Even compared to bottled water that costs over 1,000 won, it’s just as good.

The graduate student went to the bathroom and squeezed the water out from inside the humidifier slime.

Tap water is basically safe to drink.

Would it purify even dirtier water?

She came back and rummaged through her desk. She was sure there was a vitamin drink she’d received as a gift but never drank.

‘Found it.’

She poured a long-expired drink into the humidifier slime.

After waiting a bit and squeezing it, clean water with absolutely no smell came out.

As expected.

This <Humidifier Slime> can also be used as a water purifier or a water bottle.

That changes everything.

Even if the usage period is six weeks, 70,000 won is a steal.

Even filled with 3L of water, it weighs less than 500g.

It’s much more convenient to carry this <Humidifier Slime> than a plastic bottle.

The taste of the water is as good as, if not better than, other bottled water.

In other words, this is basically a <Space Expansion Water Purifier> that lets you easily carry 3L of water.

Of course, if you don’t need the <Space Expansion Water Bottle> feature, the price might feel a bit steep. But for someone willing to pay over 70,000 won for a penguin slime figure with no other effects, this is almost suspiciously cheap.

‘It might get harder to find in the future.’

The graduate student decided to stock up in advance.

—

Former malicious commenter. Now a successful office worker. He reached the same conclusion as the graduate student.

The <Humidifier Slime> is more likely to be in demand as a water bottle than as a humidifier.

There are plenty of people who don’t want to put something that’s been rolling around in their bag or pocket into their mouth.

If you make a water bottle to hold the <Humidifier Slime>, you could hit another jackpot.

‘Should I tell the company about this?’

Should he share this jackpot with the company, or keep it all to himself?

The office worker hesitated.

Lately, he’d been thinking about going independent.

He was a bit short on money for that, but there was a way to solve it.

This <Humidifier Slime> is a jackpot product that will have a massive impact not only on the humidifier market, but also on the water purifier and bottled water markets.

A huge earthquake is coming to the stock market!

If you ride the tremors of that earthquake well, your money will balloon.

If you manage to multiply your savings at that moment, you’ll have the capital to start a new company.

‘Should I go independent?’

The office worker shook his head after a moment’s thought.

Back in his malicious commenter days, he wouldn’t have been able to resist and would have stormed out of the company.

But now, he was different.

He thought things through more deeply.

With products like this, being first is everything.

If he tried to go solo, another company would probably release a product before he could.

If he wasted time trying to keep it all to himself, he’d end up with nothing.

‘I’ll wait for the next opportunity.’

***

[Winter hiking. Be sure to bring essential <Slimes>.]

Like all seasons, winter is a great time for hiking.

But it’s also a dangerous season.

Today, let’s look at the tools and <Slimes> you should bring when hiking.

1. Hiking boots

Hiking boots should be waterproof-

2. <Insole Slime D>

If you put <Insole Slime D> in your hiking boots, not only does it make them more comfortable, it also makes them waterproof. Using <Insole Slime D> greatly expands your options for hiking boots.

It’s also great for preventing injuries.

3. Hiking pole

A hiking pole is useful for long hikes-

4. Crampons

For snowy mountain trails-

5. Gaiters

To keep snow from getting into your pants-

6. <Raincoat Slime> & 7. <Glove Slime>

<Raincoat Slime> and <Glove Slime> can be considered a set.

Warmth, waterproofing, breathability. They’re the best gear in every way.

Make sure to bring them.

8. <Pack Slime>

Sunlight reflected off the snow can damage your eyes and tan your skin. <Pack Slime> not only protects your eyes and skin from strong light, it also helps prevent altitude sickness.

9. <Humidifier Slime>

It’s sold as a humidifier, but it’s really a large-capacity water bottle. Even with 3L of water inside, it only weighs about 350g. Plus, it doesn’t freeze.

When planning a long hike, water weight can be a real burden, but the <Humidifier Slime> solves that problem cleanly.

Be sure to bring it.

10. <Popcorn Cotton Candy Slime>

It’s compact, replenishes calories, and even warms you up. Of course, it tastes great too. It’s as good as chocolate for a high-calorie snack.

11. <Towel Slime>

–

12. <Pillow Slime>

–

13. Lantern.

–

—

I can understand the others, but I never imagined that <Humidifier Slime> would be included as an essential hiking item.

Is there some kind of rule that says if I release a new <Slime>, I have to figure out alternative uses for it?

It’s only been a few days since I released the <Humidifier Slime>, but now there are way more people treating it as a water bottle than as a humidifier.

It’s not just for hiking-people use it in lots of other places too.

How do I know?

Because a meme about it being a must-have item for trendsetters has been circulating lately!

There’s even a photo of a group sucking on <Humidifier Slime> together!

Is this a baby meetup or what!

If one or two people did it, it would be attention-seeking behavior.

But if five or six hundred people do it, it means they have an eye for trends.

If three or four thousand people do it, it’s a trend.

Judging by the photos going around on SNS, it looks like the trend has already started.

After the penguin extended family, is the baby pacifier craze going to take off too?

This world is absolutely crazy.

To take my mind off things, I opened the delivery from Sole Alchemy.

“This person….”

The moment I saw the contents, I started cursing.

I’m sending this back with a freebie thrown in.

I immediately bought a picture book from an online bookstore.

I asked them to deliver it by express service.

Was it Ash Pramel? I’m sure he’s a pitiful person with not a single friend.

The kind of person who brings up bizarre words no one knows during Hangman and kills the mood.

I’ve heard of that kind of game, but you’re supposed to use words you kind of know how to spell-that’s what makes it fun.

If you bring up a weird word like Ununennium, even if someone guesses it by chance, the mood just dies.

What he sent over was a spatial maze.

But the difficulty is on another level.

I teased him with a math olympiad problem mixed with traps.

And he sent back a problem that only a handful of quantum mechanics experts could even understand.

Is he kidding me.

Does he think I sent a solvable problem because I couldn’t come up with anything harder?

Even the <Lock Slime> I sent last time would have taken ages to solve if I’d made the structure change in real time and added a regeneration function.

But I didn’t do that.

Why? Because even in a battle of pride, you need rules.

If you both send problems the other can’t solve, what’s the point?

There’s no progress, no fun, and no memories.

Nothing comes out of it.

There’s no value in continuing the exchange.

If he can’t understand the message I sent, the game is over.

***

It’s been about a week since I made the wig and gave it to Hans.

I put him in charge of negotiating the contract with the Alchemy Center, and he just contacted me to say it’s done.

I called Hans for a video chat to see how he looked in the wig.

The moment I saw him, I was speechless for a second.

“…How’s the wig?”

“I like it very much. The temperature and humidity are kept so comfortable, it’s extremely pleasant.”

“That’s a relief.”

If I had the [Camouflage] or [Mimicry] skills, I could have made a truly seamless <Wig Slime>.

But since I don’t have either skill right now, the slime’s unique sheen is still there.

What that means is-

Hans is trying to blend in with people to gather intel before conquering Earth, but he looks like an alien who failed at mimicry.

“By the way, why did you choose purple for the color?”

The purple hair just makes it worse.

“Is that a problem?”

“I have no intention of restricting my employee’s freedom. I just asked because it’s a rare color.”

“I dyed it purple to match the color of my eyes.”

Hans opened his eyes wide to show me the color.

His irises really are purple, but the whites of his eyes are bloodshot, which is kind of scary.

“How about working with a <Pack Slime> on your eyes? It should help relieve eye pain.”

“I’ll do that right away.”

Hans left the screen for a moment and came back.

Now he had a <Pack Slime> stuck to his face.

Wow…. It’s even worse now.

How can someone look so suspicious?

Did I accidentally hire an alien?

“How did the contract negotiations go?”

“I’ll send you the contract right now.”

The contract he sent was much more complicated than the last one.

I didn’t really get it, but according to the summary Hans wrote-

“It says if you make it 100% out of slime, there are no legal issues no matter how big you build it. Is that true?”

“That’s correct. However, if the height exceeds 500 meters, you may need some adjustments due to altitude restrictions.”

There are three hundred thousand pyeong, so I have no intention of building something 500 meters tall.

A 300,000-pyeong slime with a height of 500 meters-what is this, Behemoth?

“What about underground?”

“No restrictions.”

If there’s no depth limit, I could even do geothermal power generation.

Or rather, mana generation?

Anyway.

The visible part above ground is just the tip of the iceberg. The main body is underground!

Making a super-massive slime like that would be fun.

It’s possible. Just replenish the mass by feeding it dirt and the energy with geothermal heat.

Who knows how many years it would take to manufacture, though.

One thing’s for sure: compared to when I reviewed and signed the contract on my own, I can make the amusement park way more freely now.

How did he manage to land a contract like this looking like that?

Or did he get it because he looks like that?

“I’ll review it and get back to you.”

You have to be careful with contracts. Even if I don’t understand it, I should study as much as I can.

“Is there anything else I should do?”

“Please take care of your health.”

After the call, I checked the contract while trying not to rely on Hans too much, as he helpfully added in his notes.

It seems fine.

A few clauses were missing, so I thought about it for a while.

They’re not a problem in normal circumstances, but if someone wanted to nitpick, they could become a hassle.

He really is talented.

Outward appearance is suspicious, though.

Let’s ask Makina too and make the contract.

I don’t think there will be a problem, but I should make sure.

Is it about to start soon?

Before the amusement park plan is implemented in full, I want to upgrade [Absorb] and [Divide] skills to [Absorb+] and [Divide+] skills.

Won’t someone give me a Class A artifact?

***

Exchange <Humidifier Slime> for a broken <Purification Water Bottle>?

Let’s do it.