Chapter 154 – Narcissism (Three)

Around the boy’s heart, two rings.

The point of mana orbiting to form a third ring began to race at an uncontrollable speed.

Oooooooong——!

A sharpness so intense it was hard to breathe made even the pain-numbed boy furrow his brow.

The pain was intensifying each time.

As understanding of emotions accumulated.

As more colors were contained within the rings.

‘Sky blue mana… is flowing into the ring.’

A refreshing sky blue.

Unlike the indigo mana commonly seen in the slums, it was a mana of a color possessed by extremely few.

But it was familiar.

It was the color of emotion that Philip and Veronica always carried.

Oooooooong——!

Having observed his two friends for a long time, the boy had some degree of speculation about sky blue mana.

And now, with the appearance of Ain, a new possessor of sky blue mana.

He could solidify that speculation into certainty.

‘At first, I only thought it was simply related to a person’s cheerful or bright disposition.’

That wasn’t it.

「You have to know how to love yourself first before you can give that love to others.」

Sky blue mana held a meaning beyond that.

「I’m splendid enough as I am. I’m going to be a future candidate, after all.」

It wasn’t merely about a bright and cheerful disposition.

What sky blue mana signified was.

「This is me, so what?」

‘The feeling of “so what?”’

For a moment, the mana’s orbit faltered.

Then it began to slow.

‘No?’

After pondering briefly, he shouted inwardly again.

‘So what.’

The mana’s orbital speed became that of a turtle.

Sensing danger, the boy, after deep contemplation, found a similar but different phrase of resolve.

‘The feeling of cherishing and loving oneself.’

As the mana’s orbit sped up again, a refreshing wind blew into the boy’s ring.

Hooooooong——─!

In reality, it was only a few seconds, but from the boy’s perspective, it felt as long as several minutes.

At its end.

…….

The point of mana returned to its original speed, leisurely orbiting around the heart.

The rings were still two.

But he could feel the completion of the third ring was imminent.

And another change was….

‘Sky blue mana is contained in the ring.’

Unlike ordinary rings, where the type of element stored is permanently determined at the moment of construction.

The boy’s rings continuously changed the type and proportion of elements according to his understanding.

The mana that increased this time was sky blue.

But its quantity was less than expected.

‘A little… no, a lot less.’

When he moved the sky blue mana in the atmosphere, it felt much smoother than before.

It meant the understanding was correct.

However, the fact that the quantity contained in the ring was less than expected meant….

‘Does it mean the degree to which I love and cherish myself isn’t great?’

I’d say I’m someone overflowing with self-love enough as I am.

Peeling off the dangling band-aid from a still-unhealed wound, Ray thought so.

Then Ain’s voice was heard.

“So no matter what anyone says, I don’t care. I am me.”

Even if he lacked self-love, it probably wouldn’t matter much.

He could just absorb the secret from the person with the most definite self-love.

“I was born this way, so what?”

Ray nodded.

He engraved one maxim in his heart.

‘The important thing is the feeling of “so what?”’

From the subsequent story, he could understand why Ain reacted sensitively to matters related to his Noona.

“I’m not saying this just because I’m her younger brother, but our Noona is kind of pretty, right? The bastards who try dirty tricks aren’t just one or two. Dirty wolf cubs.”

As if angry just thinking about it, Ain said with a grimace.

“So I have to protect her. Noona isn’t as tough as me, and sometimes she has a careless side where she doesn’t take care of herself.”

When they were young, there was no big problem protecting Noona.

But as they grew, Ayla’s appearance shone even brighter, and the intensity of the dirty tricks became unbearably high.

“Once, some organization even tried to kidnap her. Crazy bastards. They even finished investigating that our parents were less-than-sane humans, so there was no problem.”

Around that time, he met Binjin and received a suggestion to learn magic.

“There was no reason to refuse. I needed greater power to protect Noona anyway. So I’m very grateful to Master.”

“Master appeared right around the time our parents passed away.”

While telling the story, various emotions toward each other bloomed in the siblings’ vessels.

Pure affection, concern, worry….

Ray observed Ayla’s vessel more intently than Ain’s.

Since he had uncovered the emotion associated with the younger sibling’s sky blue mana, it was now time to analyze the older sister’s blue mana.

The most noticeable emotion currently in Ayla’s vessel was.

‘White mana, the emotion of worry.’

It floated high above the vessel.

Unlike other emotions that were freezing or slipping on the ice field made of blue mana.

…Usually, white mana tends to lean most toward its owner.

‘Ayla’s white mana leans only toward Ain.’

Could this peculiarity be related to the cause of blue mana’s generation?

Its volume was also larger than usual.

While forming and combining various speculations and hypotheses, a thought suddenly occurred to Ray.

If that white mana.

Were to fall onto the blue mana.

‘It feels like sky blue mana would be created.’

Ray quickly organized the colors of mana and their associated emotions in his mind.

‘Sky blue mana.’

The feeling of cherishing and loving oneself.

‘Indigo mana.’

The feeling of hating and despising oneself.

‘In between them is blue mana.’

The associated emotion was still unknown.

‘But blue can become both of the other two colors depending on what color is mixed in.’

Mixing white creates a refreshing sky blue.

Mixing black creates a gloomy indigo.

‘White usually represents worry… and black is a mixture of negative emotions represented by malice and fear.’

The middle between sky blue and indigo is blue.

Adding white and black to it respectively….

A feeling as if he was about to realize something.

Just as Ray’s excitement index and concentration were rising to their limits.

“What about you, Hyung? Our Noona? Is she pretty or not?”

Ain’s voice broke his reverie.

“Ain… why do you ask every boy you meet that? Please stop it.”

“Because if they say she’s pretty, I have to break their legs… Ah, I’m losing. Anyway, answer me. Hyung.”

Ain glared at Ray with intense, wary eyes.

So Ray also widened his eyes and glared back at Ain.

“…….”

“…….”

Ain slightly averted his eyes.

Ray then turned his gaze and looked straight at Ayla’s face.

“No. You don’t have to answer seriously. Ain sometimes asks strange questions like this.”

Although Ayla said that, Ray had already begun pondering the question.

‘Whether she’s pretty.’

In fact, it was a meaningless question for Ray.

He didn’t recognize people’s faces well, and he had no standard for beauty and ugliness.

The only thing he had ever recognized as beautiful was Veronica’s sun.

‘Though her facial features seem to be in more balanced positions than other people’s.’

Still, to answer the question.

“I don’t really know.”

At Ray’s concise answer, a flush spread across Ain’s face.

“As expected of Hyung! I knew at a glance you were different from other wolf cubs!”

Ayla simply stared intently at Ray without any particular change in expression.

But in her vessel, a clear curiosity and interest in Ray were rising.

Afterward, perhaps in a better mood, Ain not only enthusiastically answered Ray’s questions but also volunteered information he hadn’t even asked for.

“So Master prefers pouring sauce over dipping it.”

“…….”

I didn’t really want to know that.

Then, from downstairs, the sound of a door opening followed by a commotion was heard.

─Creeeeak!

A loud shout followed.

─Have you arrived! Master!

─Did you take care of your business well!

It seemed Binjin had returned.

Thinking it was earlier than expected, Ray said.

“I think I should be going now.”

“Alright. The conversation was enjoyable. I heard the Mage Tower is on break now? Can we maybe see each other again tomorrow? I feel like I could become friends with you, Hyung.”

Could they see each other again.

Most likely, yes.

It didn’t seem like he could achieve all his purposes in the mansion in just one day.

‘I’d have to go down to the first floor and meet Binjin to know for sure.’

But at least, while he wasn’t sure about Ain, he was certain he would see Ayla again.

Because—

“Ayla.”

“Huh?”

“I’d like to talk with you alone tomorrow in another quiet place.”

“Huh, what?”

“Outside the mansion.”

—Because he would create the chance to meet again himself.

At Ray’s completely unexpected words, Ain made a devastated face.

“I took a sinister wolf cub as my Hyung! You said you didn’t know if she was pretty! You said you didn’t really know! You scammer bastard!”

Squawking, Ain ran far away when Ray lightly tossed a dictionary.

Ayla, who had opened her mouth slightly to express her own surprise, asked.

“Do you have… something to say?”

“It’s something hard to talk about inside the mansion.”

Ayla, lost in thought for a moment.

Soon parted her lips again.

“We can meet outside. But it has to be briefly in the evening. I’m not in Class A, so my free time is limited.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll talk to Binjin.”

“That’s not an easy request to—”

Ayla closed her mouth mid-sentence.

Because she recalled Binjin being extremely polite to the boy before her.

“Um… okay. Then talk to me again after you see Master. I’ll be in the mansion, so you can come find me again. Or you can relay it through Master.”

Ray nodded.

After asking a few more questions, he headed toward the stairs to meet Binjin.

Tap— tap— tap—

He felt Ayla’s gaze on his back.

“…….”

There was one reason he wanted to see the girl outside the mansion.

Because when specific words were mentioned, extreme fear settled in Ayla’s vessel.

There were two words.

‘The mansion, and Binjin.’

The place she resided.

The Master she served.

Ayla was afraid.

Though the exact reason was unknown.

Because of that, she had swallowed her words several times during the conversation.

As if the sentences were stuck in her throat.

‘She’ll be able to do it outside.’

Ain’s sky blue mana.

Ayla’s blue mana.

From the conversation in the hallway, he gained little about the latter.

Talking with Ayla felt like dealing with someone wearing a mask.

He had that intuition.

There were things he could only know by reaching deep into the other’s heart.

By approaching the blue mana, touching it.

Feeling its texture and sensation directly.

‘Wouldn’t I learn something new?’

He might get too close to the blue mana and freeze, but it didn’t matter.

He was already in a frozen state anyway.

Then a voice came from behind.

“Noona, if you don’t want to see me go crazy, reject that pitch-black-hearted wolf cub’s date request.”

It seemed Ain had returned to his spot already.

Suddenly remembering something, Ray stopped walking and turned his body with a spin.

Although Ain had noisily run away, Ray’s gaze was directed solely at Ayla.

After a long silence—

“Mana waves its hand to those who are honest with themselves.”

—he said.

While looking at the frozen emotions in Ayla’s vessel.

Ray turned his body again.

Tap— tap— tap—

“…….”

Ayla didn’t move.

She just stood there, watching Ray’s back disappear down the hallway.

For a long while, for quite a long time.

Even after Ray was out of sight.

She simply remained frozen.