“Lope.”

“…”

Ms. Rebecca called my name without another word. That alone was enough to feel the terror welling up in her eyes. I didn’t know who that emotion was directed toward. Whether it was toward me. Or toward this situation itself.

Or toward herself, not knowing what she might do next.

When my thoughts reached that point, I blurted out a single sentence.

“Don’t even dream about it.”

“…”

“More importantly, we need to disinfect the wound. Give me the antiseptic, quickly.”

“Right. Got it.”

She nodded heavily and quickly opened her bag. I snatched the medical supplies from her hands and approached Haru.

“Haru. There’s still a little more we need to do. Are you okay?”

“…Does it have to be right now?”

“Yes. It has to be now.”

“Okay then…”

The voice that flowed out weakly settled heavily on my chest. It sounded almost like the sound a dying person would make from their sickbed. Saya laid Haru down using her own lap as a pillow and wiped the sweat streaming down her face.

But she couldn’t possibly wipe it all away. Not because too much sweat was flowing, but because Saya’s tears kept streaming down onto Haru’s cheeks. Perhaps feeling that sensation, Haru forced out a tasteless joke.

“I’m not dead yet, you know, Saya. But you can take my sword ahead of time. I don’t think I’ll have any use for it anymore.”

“…”

“Or maybe I should sell it at a pawnshop. I wonder if anyone’s still running one?”

“Haru.”

I wanted to scold her for making such an insane joke in this situation. But I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead of adding pointless nonsense, I took a deep breath and steadied my own heart.

“Haru. I’m going to start.”

“Will it hurt…?”

“Yes.”

“What a wonderful day this is.”

Was this also a joke? Haru smiled faintly. But that smile crumbled away without a trace in an instant.

“Huu…”

“…”

“Huu…u…”

“…”

“Aah… Aaaaaah! Mmph…!”

Eventually a scream burst out, and we had to gag her again. Her legs, unable to endure the pain, kicked at the empty air, vomiting out their anguish. Even so, I couldn’t stop. If I left it like this, bacteria would eat away at the wound.

“Kkieeeeeeeek!!!”

“…”

Meanwhile, the screams of the Hatchlings continued. A night of slaughter that began the moment they were born. At the edge of that blood-soaked time, I had to clutch the face of a blind girl and pray to God again and again.

The commotion didn’t subside until a full day had passed. The Hatchlings, perhaps growing tired of tearing apart their own kind, scattered into the surroundings in search of other prey. We waited until the sound of their massive footsteps faded before finally crawling out of the pit.

Then a pitch-black night sky greeted us. The sky we met for the first time in a while didn’t even have proper stars in it, so it felt like if I rubbed the bridge of my nose, the soot of the night would come off instead of drops of sweat. And pushing through that darkness was harder work than expected.

But somehow we had to find a place to rest. A building with a roof. With a floor. With at least one clean bed.

The place we entered was a small Academy building. It was too small to even be called an Academy, with only two classrooms, but at least the infirmary was intact. I carefully laid Haru on the bed and then let out my exhausted breath.

“Saya. Are there any medical supplies nearby…”

“No. Looks like everything’s already been looted.”

“I figured as much.”

Maybe we should move somewhere else after all. But moving again at this point—both Haru and I were far too exhausted. In the end, I threw my backpack on the floor and slumped down.

“Haa…”

“Lope. This place is…”

“There’s no choice. Moving any further is too much for Haru right now.”

I raised my tired eyes and assessed Haru’s condition. She had been groaning in pain the entire way here, and the moment she lay on the bed, she lost consciousness. I couldn’t even tell whether she had fallen asleep or passed out.

And above all, the fever on her forehead showed no sign of going down. That was by no means a good sign. If an infection had set in…

…

“Lope.”

“…”

In the midst of all that, Ms. Rebecca called my name as if trying to say something. But when I shot her a sharp glare, she couldn’t continue.

“I…”

“…”

“I’ll… go outside and check if there’s anyone else around.”

In the end, Ms. Rebecca couldn’t bear this situation and headed outside. Under normal circumstances, I would have at least thanked her, but I didn’t have the mental composure for that. The moment I heard the door close, I hung my head low.

Then the drops of sweat that had pooled between my hair fell to the floor in a patter. I’d been through a lot, but I’d never been pushed to the brink mentally like this before. And the same was probably true for everyone here.

Especially for Ms. Rebecca, it might have been even worse. After all, coming here had been entirely her suggestion. Of course, we all followed that decision, but guilt was always the burden of the one who proposed it.

But I had no energy to spare on sympathy for her. Because I had failed to protect Haru too. Because I was the one who stayed by her side until the end. In terms of the weight of guilt alone, I was no less burdened. If only I had realized sooner.

If only it had been my arm that was severed instead of Haru’s.

…

…What a selfish thing to say. If my arm had been severed, Haru would have been the one writhing in guilt instead. Nothing would have changed at all.

No matter how much I racked my brain, I couldn’t find a way to escape this self-loathing. Saya seemed to be having similar thoughts, sitting in the corner with her face buried in her hands.

It was a night none of us could pull ourselves out of. For all of us.

“…Senior.”

“…!”

At that moment, a low voice came from behind. I turned my head urgently and saw Haru fumbling with the bedsheet with her remaining hand.

“Where is this?”

“It’s the Academy infirmary. I’m not sure exactly where this is, though. It’s a really small place.”

“I knew it smelled familiar.”

Even though she shouldn’t have had the luxury for it, Haru let out a hollow laugh. Then, stretching her legs out as if doing a full-body stretch, she said:

“Ugh… so stiff. Where’s Saya? She didn’t just take off somewhere, did she?”

“I’m right here, Haru.”

“Don’t use that voice. I’m not dead yet. Where’s Rebecca?”

“Ms. Rebecca is…”

“Never mind. She’s probably off doing something stupid again.”

“Off doing something stupid”—only Haru could dismiss all those problems so simply. No matter what happened, it felt like she alone could brush it off as if nothing had occurred.

But that was merely how it appeared. No matter how much she pretended to be fine, Haru was still just an ordinary girl in the end. Even younger than me. There was no way she could so easily get over the fact that her arm had been severed.

“Ha… damn it.”

“…”

“It’ll be hard to hold a sword anymore, won’t it?”

“That’s…”

“I guess so. Of all things, it had to be the hand I use to hold a sword. And on top of that, what was I even doing receiving a Mark? Just my luck.”

“…Tell me about it.”

“Since it’s come to this, I really should sell my sword at a pawnshop. Or give it to Saya. She’s not as good as me, but she’s still… damn it.”

Her usual brusque tone. But this time, she couldn’t end it so casually. Something that had been submerged in her heart surged up into Haru’s throat.

“Senior.”

“Yeah. Haru.”

“…I’m sorry.”

The words that should never have left Haru’s mouth spilled out at last. I rested my head against the bed where she lay and shook it slowly.

“I told you not to say things like that.”

“Still, I’m sorry. It’s true that you’re more tired because of me. And above all, I’m so sorry to Saya. I was supposed to protect her. Killing is something that should be done by the person whose hands are already stained with blood.”

“Haru…”

“Roselia. I should have been the one to kill that woman too. But I pushed it onto Saya instead. I’m still so sorry about that. It even shows up in my dreams sometimes.”

“That’s not true, Haru. If anything, I should be—”

“Ah. Enough with the crying and come here. Let me hold you.”

Haru suddenly extended her remaining arm. And when Saya approached, she wrapped it around her neck. Though it was only half an embrace, the warmth behind it hadn’t cooled at all.

“Wow. To think the person I was always hugging turned out to be a Half-Elf. The bluebird of happiness really was right beside me all along. With just this, I think I’ve fulfilled every wish I had for this life.”

“You haven’t even met a real Elf yet, Haru.”

“I’ll meet them someday too. But what if those Elves aren’t as good as Saya? Then she’ll have to put up with me for the rest of her life.”

“I…”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Never mind, just bring your cheek here.”

Haru grinned mischievously and planted a loud kiss on Saya’s cheek. Then she reached her arm toward me this time.

“Otherwise Senior will get jealous. Come on, come here. Let me get a good smell of you for the first time in a while.”

“Haru. You can just rest.”

“Ah, at this rate my other arm’s going to fall off too. Just hurry up and come here.”

I finally gave in to Haru’s insistence and leaned down toward her. Then her impossibly frail arm wrapped around my neck.

“Our Senior has gotten a lot thinner. This isn’t the same feeling as before.”

“What do you mean, ‘the same feeling as before’?”

“That’s for me to know. Anyway, Senior. Is Saya still beside you?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Just wondering. When you’re hurting this much, all sorts of thoughts come to mind. I thought I’d be thinking about meals I never got to eat, but strangely, it’s the dreams I never fulfilled that come to mind.”

“Like what?”

“Hmm. Getting kissed by a man?”

Haru’s voice dropped to a whisper. She fidgeted with her lips for no reason, then whispered in an even smaller voice.

“But nobody would do it for me. Said my scars were too hideous or something. I always heard you’re supposed to close your eyes when you kiss, anyway. Honestly, the nerve.”

“What idiots.”

“Right? I guess I need to find a man who’s either blind like me or so head over heels for me that he doesn’t care about scars. But what do you know. Senior is neither.”

“Haru…”

“But I’m selfish, so from now on, I’m going to make you lie to me.”

Haru raised her one hand and covered my eyes. Though her palm was small, it was enough to block this narrow field of vision. Over the darkness that had so warmly descended, a thoroughly cracked whisper drifted in.

“From now on, answer my questions with lies. But it’ll be easy. The answer is always going to be fixed as ‘yes.’ Otherwise I’ll cry, so you’d better figure it out.”

“Yes. I understand.”

“Good.”

Haru smiled with satisfaction at my answer. Then she tapped at my eyelids and asked.

“Senior. Am I cute?”

“Haha…”

“You’re supposed to say ‘yes.’ Even though it’d be a lie.”

“…Yes.”

At the unexpected question, a laugh like a tear leaked out of me. But Haru slapped my neck and continued with a similar question.

“Senior. Am I pretty?”

“Yes.”

“Senior. You’ll keep me with you for the rest of your life, right?”

“Yes.”

“Senior.”

“Yes.”

…

“Do you… like me?”

The last words came after a long hesitation. According to the rules, I should have answered with a lie this time too. So I told a lie with all my heart.

“…No.”

“You were supposed to say ‘yes.'”

“Sorry.”

“I’ll kiss you as punishment, so deal with it.”

“You’re merciless.”

“But Senior’s lips belong to Saya, so…”

At that moment, Haru’s hand covering my eyes slid down. I tried to open my eyes instinctively, but in that fleeting instant, rough lips were pressed against my eyelids. A clumsy kiss—careful, yet without hesitation. It drifted down like a flower petal settling on a spring day, before I could even register it.

“…I’ll let you off with this much. Okay?”

“Haru…”

“I’m not doing any more. I don’t want to have my first kiss in a place like this.”

“…”

“First kiss…”

Haru suddenly chuckled. Then she nestled deeply into my embrace once more.

“I thought I’d go my whole life without ever experiencing something like that. I mentioned it at the Academy too, but what’s the point of a blind cripple like me desperately clinging to life? I really planned to give up and die when the time came.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“You’re right. You ruined everything. Honestly, even when I received the Mark, I was wondering who I should pass it on to.”

“…”

“But why is it? I just can’t think like that anymore. I don’t have a Mark now, so it’d make sense to just die comfortably. But there’s really something that tells me I shouldn’t. Strangely, the more time passes…”

At that moment, Haru’s bandage grew damp. Emotions that should never have shown through the false eyes she had forced herself to draw clung to them. And eventually, warm tears seeped through the gaps.

“…I find myself wanting to live more and more.”