Chapter 29: I Love You

“We are family now. I declare that from this moment forward, I will handle everything that stands in your way or seeks to harm you.”

“…….”

“Even the infamy cast upon you—I will strip it all away. The preliminary preparations for that are already complete.”

Only.

“If things go this way, as I feared before, you may be seen as someone who depends entirely on me. However, if you do not mind that… I declare… that I shall live for you alone.”

“…….”

Absurd.

Even on the day the engagement was announced.

Her expression had been so indifferent.

Back then, I was consumed by inferiority and stubbornness.

Seized by resignation and obsession, I viewed everything through a distorted lens.

To me, you were like the sun.

That light was so intense that I couldn’t even look at you with my eyes open.

It was agonizing.

Just by your existence.

Just by being compared to you.

Even just being measured against you.

I felt as though I were truly suffocating.

But.

In the end, that was my own failing.

My own ugliness.

I only realized this after crawling out of that pit myself.

Suddenly.

A picture forms in my mind.

The image of her forcibly pulling my huddled self up and leading me forward.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

If I…

…had not entered into an Alliance with the Demon King.

Maybe I really would have…

…been saved by her.

Would I not have been saved?

“…….”

A very.

Sweet assumption.

Far from being kind.

Even wretched.

In the end.

“You might find me alone insufficient. Therefore… if it does not cause you pain, I wish for you to give Seras a chance as well.”

“……?”

What?

“Do you not know? That child has liked you since childhood.”

“Since childhood?”

I knew Seras had feelings for me.

But it had been since childhood?

At that moment, the innocent cry of a young child echoed in my ears.

[I’m going to be the Hero!]

In a small garden, under a tree, a child holding up a twig.

Had declared so.

“…….”

“If it makes you happy, I am willing. I do not wish to burden you by monopolizing you. If I cannot care for you alone, I intend to utilize that child’s strength as well.”

Seras Esdina.

“Is infinitely more lacking, deficient, and inadequate than I. But at the very least, those feelings toward you must be sincere.”

“…….”

Isn’t she.

Praising herself a bit too much?

I wondered if it was right for a hollow laugh to burst out at this moment.

It was bewildering, and then suddenly, just absurd.

What on earth is this?

“So, let us return.”

From now on, I—

“Until the day this body collapses and dies, I shall protect you.”

“…….”

It’s a strange feeling.

It’s miserable, yet something makes me want to laugh.

And so, it was even sadder.

To a point where there are no words to explain it.

This situation…

Was utterly… bewildering.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why? I hope you will tell me the reason so that I may understand.”

A faint trace of irritation.

From her.

That princess, who is nothing if not cold-hearted.

“That would be too cruel to both you and Seras.”

“…It is fine because it is a man. I can overlook that much. I, Elhermina Berg Enzul! My generosity is not that narrow.”

“…….”

A girl forcing me to take another lover besides herself.

I feel like I’m losing my mind.

It may be common for nobles to distinguish between a primary wife and concubines.

It may be quite common even for royalty in other countries.

But because of my father, His Majesty the Emperor.

I had never once entertained such a thought, not even in the slightest.

“…….”

In the first place.

The very assumption that I would be with someone…

…I had intentionally avoided.

Yes.

I do not expect.

I do not trust.

I do not dream.

Because it is so sweet, once again.

I almost forgot that lesson.

‘Perhaps depending on her for everything, leaving everything to her…’

Yes, that wouldn’t be so bad.

If I asked to live in the capital without ever having to look at my parents’ faces.

She would gladly do so.

Without the need for a profession, without the need for any effort.

Even if I lived the life of a rotten failure, a ruined man.

She would gladly tolerate it.

Her confession and declaration just now are based on that premise.

But.

But.

But….

As a man.

……How could I possibly accept such a pathetic life?

“…….”

Above all.

I have entered into an Alliance with the Demon King.

Right now, the Demon King watches me passively.

But if that Demon King finds a reason to be displeased.

If that Demon King changes their mind.

……If they begin to find watching me boring.

There is no telling how they might turn.

I lean on her.

But I do not depend on her.

I trust her.

But I do not blindly believe.

The area where I lean and trust.

Is the reality that she, who watches me…

…will never be bored.

To a devil or a Demon King, my delayed and distorted life.

Would not it be quite distasteful?

…Furthermore, this setup where Lueld’s Offspring, who defeated the Demon King himself, intends to overcome Lueld and deliver an insult to his face.

…From a third party’s perspective, how amusing a curiosity and story would that seem?

That is right.

We made a deal, and we signed a contract.

In the end.

The second deal was a stern warning from the Demon King.

Telling me not to harbor complacency.

Also.

“What about Alessius?”

“He must pay for his sins.”

“…Weren’t you siblings? Surely you didn’t view him as a competitor?”

“Everyone within the Empire is connected as brothers through bonds of kinship.”

And yet, what did that child do to the people and officials who fell for him, including you?

“I will make him a proper human being.”

If he does not grow and mature.

“…Until that happens, he shall undergo a grueling journey under my watchful eye.”

This is something His Majesty has also permitted.

“If that is what you wish, I shall do so, Kariel.”

“…….”

This exceeds all imagination.

Truly.

To the point where my jaw drops.

When you think about it.

My family is by no means a weak house.

My father alone possesses power enough to oppose an entire nation.

As for my mother, since the Church of Irenis is the practical state religion of the Empire, there is no need to even discuss it.

The reason I was swayed and crushed.

Was because I was that pathetic.

It lay in my clumsiness in not riding on the prestige of my parents.

And also because my mother was there, raging and refusing to ever allow it.

My mother told me periodically.

As if engraving that conviction into my brain, stitch by stitch.

We are not the privileged class.

We were granted power and rights for the sake of service.

Therefore, Kariel.

You too, willingly.

…Devote yourself to the world.

For the world we have protected.

And for the world we must continue to protect in the future.

Just as Saint Kariel did in the past.

That is.

The only path by which we can obtain Eternal Life, and be forever redeemed and saved.

Therefore, pray.

Pray.

Let us pray together.

“…….”

Come to think of it.

Was there a Lord’s Domain among the places I passed through where Saint Kariel wrote myths during her lifetime?

I should ask about it.

Kariel shook their head defiantly.

“Still, I cannot.”

“…How many times must I ask you to tell me your reason?”

Her voice sinks.

I can even feel anger.

I prepared this much.

I took this many precautions.

I appealed so desperately.

Why do you—!

“Because spilled water cannot be gathered back.”

At Kariel’s words, Elhermina’s expression froze.

Either way, it was too late.

Yes, El.

If only you had confessed your sincerity a little sooner.

And if you had gradually soothed me, and even if I snapped like a frightened cat, if you had continued to soothe and soothe me until the end.

Perhaps I, too, would have…

“…….”

I looked up at the void.

Up there, the Demon King of Wisdom.

The Golden Demon King is watching.

With a look of great intrigue.

I see.

You.

Predicted even this situation long ago.

However, at that time, it couldn’t be helped.

Truly, it couldn’t be helped.

“I….”

However.

Even excluding that.

My desire to overcome my father.

Has not changed a single bit, even now.

‘Please look at me.’

Please praise me.

Please treat me a little more kindly.

Me….

Me….

…….

I am.

Your only,

……son, aren’t I?

“…….”

Not anymore.

Not anymore.

Yes.

In the end, I’ve come this far.

Ah.

Aah.

Yes.

So that’s how it is.

Now I know why my heart felt so empty and aching at every moment.

The inner hunger, the void that wouldn’t be filled no matter how much I filled it or ate.

It had been slowly rotting my heart and soul all along.

What was I expecting, what was I hoping for.

I simply.

…Like any other child.

Perhaps I just wanted to be loved.

I don’t want to admit it.

I didn’t.

But in the end, I reached this conclusion.

Becoming strong.

Being recognized by others.

Even being praised by others.

None of it was necessary.

I simply.

……Wanted to be loved by you more than anyone else.

Even if the whole world abandoned me.

At least you two.

…Like that.

My relationship with them.

Starting from that day five years ago.

…Had already ended.

The moment you.

Betrayed my expectations.

The moment you did not believe my words.

The moment you betrayed me.

The moment you turned your back.

The moment you disappointed me.

The moment you cursed me.

The moment you killed me.

Every single moment!

After that, I wanted to die.

“……Haha.”

Therefore.

I can no longer expect praise, recognition, or love.

My broken heart.

My ruined heart, my crumpled heart, my shattered pieces.

My wretched pride.

To the point where I simply cannot accept it.

I am now.

……Broken.

Even if such a situation occurred.

Even if he and she sincerely apologized to me, saying it’s not too late even now, and appealed with tears that they would do better.

I could no longer accept any of it….

‘It wasn’t water that was spilled.’

It was the fragments of my soul.

And now.

…There is nothing left.

“Do you truly intend to go? Even after hearing my sincere heart?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. But it can’t be helped.”

I’ve become afraid now.

Of facing them once again.

Now.

That single fact has become more terrifying than anything else in the world.

“Enough! I will hear no more! If you have no intention of speaking, I have no choice but to sever this conversation! Therefore, I! Will not let you go so easily!”

As if exploding after enduring for so long.

Like a wounded beast.

Firing off suppressed emotions and resentment.

She muttered, as if growling.

“Unless you give me a reason that I can accept.”

I will never.

“…Leave you neglected in this perilous world. I will neither put you forward nor let you out. Regret! Once is enough!”

It must not happen again.

“Did you think you could so easily cast aside this heart and resolve, where I decided to hold onto you even while giving up my own endurance?!! I will not! If I cannot hold onto you here, as you stray! Here! Here! If a tragedy occurs afterward and something happens to you! I! I cannot endure it! I cannot bear it!”

So.

Therefore.

If by any chance.

If, by any chance.

Definitely.

Definitely….

If you wish to leave this place.

“Present a basis that even I can readily accept.”

Kariel.

“Kariel Brandiar.”