Chapter 106: The Mirror That Reflects Me

Some regions have distinct four seasons, while others have seasons that are faint.

There are lands where the sun never sets and the snow never melts.

There are regions where the thick fog, meeting the rising sun, blooms like a water mist.

And there are coastlines and seaside areas where that water mist is heavily laden with salt.

From plains where such things are hard to find, to fields where one is exposed to the scorching sun from sunrise and naturally breaks into a sweat.

However, this place was a zone where such natural phenomena occurred as if intersecting.

In spaces where the sun shone brightly, the wind would occasionally stagnate, as if trapped between facing mountains and mountain ranges.

Lush greenery would abound, but with a slight shift in gaze, snow-white mountain ranges would seize the eye.

The mountain situated opposite to them was thick with greenery, yet it was quite exotic, turning red or purple depending on the season.

The forest nestled within those surroundings was flat without much difference in elevation, but once the view opened up, one could look down upon a massive lake from anywhere.

Though human presence was rare, there were mountain lodges or shelters where hunters might stay.

There were surprisingly many burrows and caves where wild beasts might dwell; in the end, that was likely because they were not just adjacent to the mountains, but a part of them.

Within this place, there existed its own laws and order.

But to those who had established society and civilization, it would still appear to be governed by the laws of the wild.

“Well, I’m off then.”

Gehven, a wolf-headed Beastman, spoke as he climbed onto a donkey-drawn wagon with his backpack.

In response, Ases, a blonde woman with blue eyes and a neat appearance, gave a formal, wide wave of her hand.

Her clothing was somewhat too formal to wear in a forest like this, but she didn’t mind much.

She wore a dress made of a durable blue fabric.

Over it, she wore a reddish-brown vest, and notably, her only footwear were boots with iron heels.

With very little skin exposed, her attire was neat yet accentuated the lines of her body; in a way, beyond simply being a beautiful maiden or woman, she evoked the image of a noble lady raised in luxury.

In fact, her appearance looked beyond noble—it looked exalted.

Perhaps it was because she could enjoy the abundant water resources of the lake.

Since she repeated the act of keeping herself clean and bathing every day, she naturally radiated light from her appearance.

The small donkey-drawn wagon departed slowly.

To live like a human being in such a place, basic supplies were essential.

Since she had plenty of saved funds, there were no major issues.

“No affection at all. Honestly.”

Still, to think they wouldn’t show any support or interest.

Or perhaps it was because she was with the Order of Relief Knights, so it didn’t matter?

Whistling, she began chopping the firewood prepared next to the cabin.

Beyond that, she had a mountain of work to do.

Living in a place like this meant being swept into unintentional hard labor, whether the duration was long or short.

At least since the lake was right in front of her, the time spent fetching water was short.

“There are way too many bugs.”

She could overlook the ants, but some pests were incredibly annoying.

Spiders the size of a palm popping out, or long things with dozens of legs—just seeing them provoked irritation.

There were many other varieties as well.

Then a deer would appear, occasionally a bear would peek around, or a pack of wolves would stare intently from a distance for a long while before disappearing.

It was a pity there were no Magic Beasts, but the fact that these creatures provided a proper sense of tension was quite exciting.

If possible, she wished they would show a bit more interest and approach her.

What is so scary about a lovely maiden like me?

Or they could at least launch a surprise attack.

There were many kinds of birds, too.

Pigeons or crows that lived in the forest.

And all sorts of other kinds.

…Had she ever watched the natural scenery and environment so peacefully before?

It was distinctly different from observing while hunting or tracking something.

Observation during tracking lacked a certain leisure.

Still, knowing the ecology of these things was all helpful.

Those creatures lived lives optimized from birth.

They were born with wings, and once they grew a bit, practice immediately linked to real-world application, and they would naturally realize how to flap their wings and roam the sky.

And if they couldn’t fly?

They fell and died.

“Hmm?”

How much time had she spent lost in meditation like that?

“……So you were here.”

Sky-blue hair that suited her pale complexion.

That exotic girl—woman—whose eyes were even bleached white, had a face that felt somewhat unfamiliar and strange.

Looking down at Ases, who was sitting on a roughly made wooden chair.

She, Mines, asked.

“Where is he?”

“Who? Who from where?”

“…….”

Was she playing word games?

When she had come to fight, she was a woman who was nothing short of a lunatic.

But now, she seemed full of mischief.

Judging by her impression, she looked like she had been raised properly.

Furthermore, she seemed to overflow with a positive and energetic aura.

…But she was surely not a normal human either.

When you think about it, she was a being who had withstood the Divine Authority of the Great Demon King several times with her bare body.

Normally, it would be natural to be neutralized in a single blow.

Even though it didn’t seem like her magic possessed any special ability.

She had made it possible.

…Because the Order of Relief Knights was special?

If so, why was Venus, who was also a member of the Order of Relief Knights, suppressed so helplessly?

It couldn’t be easily explained simply by saying her skills were superior.

“Kariel. I am talking about him.”

“He’s not here.”

“…Not here?”

Mines headed toward the place she was originally supposed to go, albeit a bit late.

The place Ruslan had mentioned.

However, he was not there.

Only after searching and finding the coachman who had transported Kariel at the time was she able to find a trace.

It took a full 40 days to find her way here.

Normally, she should have encountered him in less than half that time.

To think that a slight delay in departure would tangle the situation to this extent….

“Then where is he?”

And, though this was a guess.

The person responsible for making her deviate from the original location midway was likely the woman before her.

Although she identified herself as Ases, she was actually called by other names more often.

Aseratte En Draig.

Ashette Endragon.

Strictly speaking, Ases might be closer to the Imperial pronunciation.

Above all, rather than being called by her name, she was a being usually called Draig or Endragon.

Dragon.

Despite being human, she was openly called that.

What on earth was the reason?

After various inquiries, she was able to hear several rumors about her.

The Lake Demon.

A being who was instead cursed by rejecting the choice of the Fairy of the Lake.

Because of that, a tragic princess. A royal daughter cast out from her home country.

She didn’t know the true nature of that curse, but it was certain that it was not ordinary.

Being cursed, in itself, evokes hatred and fear, anxiety and contempt.

In the Empire, it was a concept similar to excommunication.

Excommunication meant being rejected and cast out from a community where faith in the Church of Irenis and a corresponding bond and empathy had been formed.

A soul that cannot enter heaven even after death, and must fall into hell upon dying, unable to receive relief or salvation.

The most powerful punishment of the Church of Irenis was the exclusion of the promise of salvation in the afterlife.

There are no exceptions to death.

However, no one knows the afterlife.

Thus, one has no choice but to listen to the chatter of the faithful.

For some reason, they spoke as if they had evidence and knew the truth.

“…….”

The reason Mines had entered the inner courtyard of the Church of Irenis in Somern Village was that, despite everything, they did not hesitate to embrace.

God loves you.

Therefore, He sent His child to prove His love through forgiveness and tolerance.

…To be honest, she had no idea what that meant.

The reason she had prayed, even if only formally, was not for herself.

She had heard from the nun in charge of the chapel at the time that prayers for others, rather than for oneself, were the ones with value.

Since she had been relying on His inner courtyard, she did it with the feeling of halfway settling a debt, hoping things would improve even slightly.

“Somewhere in the forest cave over there.”

“…Does he come back?”

“If you want to see his face, you’ll have to go find him yourself.”

“…….”

More importantly.

Why did he come here?

She didn’t know well what he hoped to gain here.

…But now she would find out.

“Aren’t you curious why I came here?”

“I was born without much interest in others.”

“…What?”

“I see a massive cliff between myself and others that cannot be crossed.”

If you plunge a sword into another’s body.

Most feel the pain acutely, sense death, and even amidst the pain and hardship, they are seized by despair.

To embrace everything when even one thing is agonizing. Isn’t that too inefficient for something so unnecessary?

On the other hand, I don’t feel that way in the slightest.

Conversely, even if I were in agonizing pain.

Someone would probably be busy laughing and chatting while watching.

“Why must one react sensitively to the pain of others? Do they only feel satisfied when they proclaim their humanity and such, insisting that they are an ally to others, a non-hostile being, and an equal entity?”

“I don’t know… why you are saying such things.”

“Because I think that’s why you came here.”

She knew Mines had received a favor from him.

“I wonder if that’s a reason to come looking for him. Or maybe you want to have a match with him? Because you were defeated too humiliatingly back then and can’t sleep? Is it something like that?”

“That… couldn’t be.”

“Then it’s obvious. Repaying a favor.”

Thinking rationally and objectively.

In the end, the principles and processes of action are extremely simple.

Just as resentment sparks a fire.

Just as hostility breeds aggression.

Just as affection expands into love, and love into a desire for possession and reproduction.

And the desire for reproduction—while some seek stability by becoming dependent on an individual, others pursue another form of stability by trying to spread it or receive it more.

The methods vary, but the principles and purposes are all the same.

Striving to gather wealth.

Seeking to grow in power.

Obsessing over authority.

When you think about it, the essence is one.

“And if you stick to a great person, a good person, you’ll find at least one thing to suck dry.”

“Are you here with that kind of thought?”

“I’m different.”

Ases said, arching an eyebrow.

“If I had to put it, I’m a person who corresponds to a tool or a warhorse.”

“A warhorse?”

“If I were told to live on my own, I’d probably just lie down in the prairie, act arrogant, and live according to my temperament… something like that.”

However, to live according to one’s temperament, power is necessary.

And not just power.

Wisdom and social tact to make up for lacking power are also essential.

Since there are realms impossible for an individual, the ability to lead or employ the masses is also essential.

Was that called leadership?

If I don’t want to labor painfully?

I can just employ others.

However, if I am struggling and exhausted, others are also exhausted.

But to make others accept a situation where I am comfortable and they are exhausted?

“I can do anything as long as I’m treated well.”

That was the reason she had temporarily engaged in mercenary work.

However, since the current era was far from war, the mercenary business was declining.

Thus, it was a time when those masquerading as mercenaries naturally turned into plunderers, bandits, or robbers.

But conversely, that meant the need for mercenaries like her was emerging once again.

For that reason, she excluded plundering, recruited guys who were relatively sane, and led a small mercenary corps.

Now, well, it’s halfway on the verge of dissolution… but so what.

Anyway, if she returned to that side, the guys who consistently did this work among the living would naturally try to enter her shadow.

In that sense, she had been a competent mercenary captain.

“But what if that ‘treatment’ has nothing to do with wealth, power, fame, or influence? Then, who could possibly treat me properly?”

“Kariel can do that, is that what you’re trying to say?”

“A long time ago.”

With a gaze looking toward some distant place.

Ases spoke with a nostalgic face.

“When most denied my existence. That guy was the only one who acknowledged me.”

That the way she was born with such tendencies and personality.

That there must be a reason for all of it.

“Was I born as a demon? Or was I born to become a demon?”

She did not know the hearts of others.

No, did she even need to know?

Why be considerate? Why understand?

It’s tedious. It’s pathetic. It’s annoying.

But why does everyone send such looks of contempt toward this attitude?

Why is everyone so afraid of me? Why do they loathe me? Why do they find me difficult?

Was that why?

Her life consisted only of those two questions.

Was I born a demon?

Or was I a being that didn’t fit into the world, and thus was made into a demon?

But.

That alone was different.

“When you put it that way, I get curious.”

If you can’t understand?

Then just don’t understand.

In fact, understanding others is a very tedious task, isn’t it?

…A guy who understood others better than anyone was speaking as if he were her.

In that moment.

She felt that she was doing something called empathy with another person.

She experienced it for the first time in her life.

It was a very attractive experience.

“Moreover, he told me that if there truly was no one who understood and accepted me, then I should come to him.”

That they should look for such a person together.

And if there wasn’t one, well, he would try his best to become that person.

That if this was fate, it was fate.

In this wide world, maybe there was at least one genius who could do that right here.

“…….”

That child, that brat a few years younger than her, spoke so confidently.

Wouldn’t it be strange not to feel interest in that?

To tell her not to feel attracted. That was absurd.

“That is….”

Mines was slightly bewildered by her explanation.

Was she not the woman who had rushed to kill him, as if she truly hated him, for trying to stop her and Leo?

And yet, all of that stemmed from affection?

“Do you cherish him?”

“Me? Why would I?”

…She seems not to know.

But didn’t she just confess in that story?

That in this world, no one had understood her.

But at least he tried. He understood.

…Then, for her, that’s the only thing left, isn’t it?

‘That….’

Is it correct to express this as love? Affection?

Perhaps not.

But in a way, it might mean the same thing.

Depending on how that heart blooms and what result it meets.

It might be a pure and noble love.

But if it deviates, twists, and brings about a wrong result.

It would become another tragedy born of twisted affection, of attention.

As Ases guessed, Mines was skilled at understanding others.

This was her nature.

It wasn’t that she wanted to be this way.

Rather, she had resented this nature countless times.

Why must I understand even the pain of others, and be swept up and suffer along with them?

“…….”

However.

Because of that, there were things to be grateful for.

Though it was truly hard and painful.

When someone was sincerely happy, laughing and joyful.

She, too, was truly happy.

Only for a brief moment.

Because of that tiny warmth, she was still… able to endure somehow.

But.

“It’s about time to go.”

Ases rose from the chair and led the way, as if telling her to follow.

Mines followed her back, letting out a small sigh.

But.

She probably doesn’t know.

If she is someone who knows neither the joy nor the happiness of others.

She must have been cast into solitude all along, understood by nothing.

Even.

By herself.

If others were a mirror reflecting oneself.

She might have spent her whole life without ever meeting a mirror that could reflect even herself.

And then.

She found a mirror that could reflect her?

…It’s only natural to become desperate.

‘But.’

She does not know.

How to love someone honestly, gently, and rightly.

How to cherish and feel affection.

She does not know.

That is why she only acts emotionally and impulsively.

Even the protrusion of those emotions would be distant from what is normal.

“…….”

Perhaps it was because of my past, spent listening to the various troubles of different people, understanding them, and offering comfort.

Mines finally realized that the woman walking ahead of her was a sick person—merely a pitiful patient.

However, Ases.

In the world she lived in, she would still be called a demon.

She possessed power, an extraordinary intellect, and striking beauty, coupled with a temperament that allowed her to utilize her assets more coldly and ruthlessly than anyone else.

In a sense,

She was a being akin to a disaster.

Someone who could casually drive a knife into another’s back.

Someone who could slit the throat of the person before her with a smiling face, or nonchalantly sever the hand she had taken for a handshake.

She could do such things without a shred of personal emotion.

Guided solely by profit and rationality.

Does a knife that cuts meat need a heart?

Does a knife that stabs a person need a heart?

‘Perhaps.’

Maybe that was what I needed.

If I had been like that, I truly would have become an unprecedented Great Disaster.

Living selfishly for oneself, refusing to be used.

Utilizing even the power one possesses in such a manner.

Who knows how much blood and how many tears would have been shed because of it.

…So, it is a relief.

That I couldn’t be like that.

I may have suffered, but.

To shift such pain and despair onto the innocent—would that not be a truly absurd injustice?

The current me could never accept that.

“But I can’t guarantee whether you’ll actually be able to have a conversation with them once you go. You’ll have to accept that risk.”

“Yes. That’s fine. It’s not urgent.”

As Ases pointed out, perhaps I had come simply to repay a favor.

Wanting to ask the things I was curious about was likely just a pretext or an excuse.

But it didn’t matter.

Even harboring such an erratic and impulsive mindset.

Should be a matter of freedom.