Chapter 29 – The Path Ahead Continues

“The idea of studying abroad at Termwills was something my butler suggested to me. Though he said it, he looked quite worried… I see now it was with an eye toward marriage prospects with Theodore-sama.”

“…I believe Lady Beryne has her own considerations as well. Though you place excessive expectations upon me, I’ve yet to accomplish anything. So I thought Ashley-sama and I should first understand each other’s temperaments as friends—that we should take these matters more slowly.”

Ashley nodded seriously at my words.

Rosetta—had left the room saying she would prepare tea.

Closing my eyes, I thought about Ashley once more. About what she said to Maurice. About everything until now.

Someone like me has no business commenting on her way of life or way of thinking… but from my conversation with Grace, I gather that now that her physical problems have been resolved, she’s trying to properly live as a noble.

That path must be close to the thorny one Mother walked. Ashley seems to hold feelings closer to admiration and respect than mere gratitude toward Mother.

So supporting her… is that it? I understand what Grace wants to say.

It would be easy to dismiss Ashley’s thoughts as just a child burning with ideals. As not knowing reality.

But I think I understand the humiliation of being told that. What’s wrong with being a child?

Besides, I know someone who maintained that way of living until the very end.

But that person—in that winter five years ago—was said to have fought a demon and been cursed, dying without anyone she had helped being able to extend a hand to save her.

Grace told Mother she could be saved if she drank blood—but she shook her head. Was she worried about Grace’s wellbeing?

If so, Mother might have continued existing as a vampire, but had she contracted that illness, being a Dhampir, there wouldn’t have been any certainty she would have remained unharmed.

At that time—it was the adventurers accompanying us under contract who saved Mother and brought her home. Father was away from the territory during the agricultural off-season. By the time Father learned of it, everything was too late.

Now that I have Kagehisa’s memories… I’ve come to understand what those who left Mother’s side were thinking. They likely had no leeway either, worrying that the so-called curse—the illness might be contagious, or that there was nothing they could do. With all that, they brushed me off saying “What would a child understand?”

It was a snowy night. I can’t forget the retreating backs of those adults.

But until the very end. No words of resentment ever came from Mother’s mouth toward anyone.

However. Even understanding the reason, I can’t accept it.

It would have been fine even if they could do nothing. Just words of gratitude to Mother would have been enough. I didn’t want her to be given an ending where she was abandoned. That’s why I also gave up on those people and left home. Whatever happened after I left was no longer my concern.

…Whether it’s Grace or Ashley. If they would acknowledge and support them. If they would walk together with them. If they would be their protectors.

That doesn’t necessarily—have to be me. There must be someone like that somewhere, and if they can meet them successfully, then that should be fine.

But matters of marriage… especially for someone who becomes the family head, aren’t a matter of personal freedom. In other words, I simply can’t trust that someone who hasn’t appeared yet—some unknown stranger somewhere—no matter what.

“Anything I say at this point is probably nothing more than wishful thinking. If I prove incapable of accomplishing anything, please feel free to break off the engagement from your side. Even so—if you would grant me that right. I want to be involved in your life.”

If merely becoming your fiancé can serve as a breakwater against various things, then I’ll do it.

But all of this is for my own sake. I’m doing this because I don’t want to see what I don’t want to see. I act for myself. That’s all there is to it. Even if Ashley becomes disillusioned with me eventually, I can’t live like Mother did, nor do I intend to.

Whatever life Ashley chooses from now on, that won’t change my evaluation of her. I won’t forget what she said to Maurice.

So even if it’s only while they grant me that qualification, I want to carry everything I can carry and run as far as I can run.

After hearing my words, Ashley took a deep breath and spoke quietly.

“After my parents passed away… my butler hardly let me go outside anymore. I was also afraid of things coming from outside. I thought that was fine too. Since long ago, I spent more time lying down due to poor health. I thought there was nothing I could do. After all, I had my Elder Brother too.”

…Nothing you could do, huh.

“But my Elder Brother didn’t return either. Even when I was suddenly told I was the lord, I didn’t know what to do. But I heard once—that there was someone who avenged my father and mother—”

“That would be my mother, right?”

Ashley closed her eyes and nodded.

“I begged to hear so many, many stories about Lady Lisa. She was like—someone from a story. I… admired that person. Even though I remained weak, because I wanted to become like Lady Lisa, I thought I could stand up and face forward. My butler said he would wait for the day I could stand properly—that he would work hard alone for me.”

Stopping her words there, Ashley looked into my eyes and said.

“I think you probably already know this. When I heard Oslo’s story—when I heard that person was connected to Count Gartner’s family, I wondered if they might be Lady Lisa’s child. I—ran away from home.”

That certainly… wouldn’t be something she could say to me in an apology.

She admires Mother. So she wants forgiveness based on that connection. That’s how it would sound.

So that’s… why she spoke to Grace about Mother’s story rather than to me. That explains why they got along.

“But Theodore-sama forgave me, and even took away the heaviness in my body. That felt so mysterious—and made me happy. I felt like I could join the continuation of my favorite story. My body felt light, like I could do anything. So I didn’t want to be separated like that, and detained Theodore-sama and Grace-san.”

“That was that night, right? When you visited saying you had something to discuss.”

Ashley nodded at Grace’s words.

“I just couldn’t… ask Theodore-sama.”

“But Ashley-sama, you knew about me from the beginning, didn’t you?”

She probably heard through others about Mother taking Grace in. So even though she’s a Dhampir, Ashley wasn’t afraid of her.

If she’s been hearing stories about Mother… even if not in detail, she might know that Grace and I were the ones who saw her to the end.

“Yes. That’s why I thought you two were a wonderful, well-matched pair.”

After smiling, Ashley’s expression clouded slightly.

“Though I am a noble, I intend to understand things to some extent. I thought marriage talks were still far off for me.”

I don’t know how much Kennel educated her about marriage matters.

But she apparently didn’t consider it something immediate.

“…But when it comes to talks with you two… that someone like me who came later could be by your side. Is such a thing permissible?”

“I—wouldn’t be satisfied with anyone else. Because Ashley-sama holds the words I wanted conveyed to Lady Lisa.”

Words I wanted conveyed to Mother… huh.

Or perhaps they were words I wanted to hear from someone else’s mouth.

“I’ve already conveyed my words. They won’t change.”

As both of them looked at me, I answered.

Someone—I’m not sure who—smiled.

“Would you care for some tea?”

A little while after our discussion settled, a knocking sound echoed and Rosetta entered the drawing room carrying a tray with tea sets, wearing an oddly pleased smile.

This timing… she efficiently poured the black tea and prepared snacks but…

“—Were you waiting outside?”

When I made that comment, Rosetta’s smiling expression froze and her gaze wavered.

“Well… I suppose it’s fine.”

She really is such a worrier.

As someone who was at Termwills, she probably thought that since I have Father, it wasn’t her place to intervene—but she must have been feeling quite frustrated.

But when she learned I was treated coldly at Count Gartner’s house and consequently came to Termwills, she probably felt regret about Mother and wanted to take care of me in various ways. Her somewhat harsh attitude toward Father likely stems from that.

…About what comes from tomorrow, huh. Well, we have plenty of time. I should probably talk with Rosetta included too. I’m certain—no, definitely—she’ll want to stick her nose in as well.