Chapter 576 – In the Heart of the Boy

“It would be better if Carter and the others stayed inside.”

Even if they’re going to apologize, doing it in front of children… As parents, they probably wouldn’t want to deliberately show such a scene, and it would be painful for Carter and the others to watch too.

“Is it… not allowed? We thought we should witness this too…”

Carter said that, but I shook my head.

“If you need an explanation of the circumstances, I’ll give it. But since I said that what the parents did has nothing to do with the children… I believe that directly hearing and witnessing it should only be between the parties involved. So… if you have things you’ve been thinking about since that day, or if there are things you absolutely want to say or ask Carter and the others, then as parent and child, you should talk about it.”

I can understand their desire to witness it, in a way. But I don’t want to deliberately create new wounds.

At my words, Carter and the others looked down for a while, but eventually looked at each other and nodded.

“Understood. We’ll be inside.”

Saying that, Carter and the others went into the inner room.

I looked up at the sky through the window. The snow was growing increasingly stronger, falling heavily.

As I looked up at the snow-filled sky and reminisced about various things from the past… a soldier came galloping on horseback and arrived in front of Mother’s house. My wandering thoughts were cut off.

Father went to the doorway and listened to the soldier’s report, then eventually turned toward us and spoke.

“I hear they’ve come near the highway. I’ll go partway to meet them and explain the situation first.”

“Understood.”

“I…”

Daryl stepped forward, but Father smiled.

“You wait. This is my job.”

“Yes.”

Told by Father, Daryl nodded.

Father, having received the report from the messenger soldier, left the house.

“Is learning… my current job?”

Seeing Father off, Daryl said. Perhaps he felt he had complicated the situation.

“Well, Father might say that. But I was actually quite happy.”

“Hmm… Thank you.”

Daryl scratched his cheek awkwardly.

After a while… a group left the highway leading to the neighboring town and came this way. A carriage accompanied by Father and soldiers, and townspeople on horseback arrived in front of the house.

Father looked up at me by the window and quietly nodded. So we would talk here.

The townspeople on horseback were wrapped in winter coats… but they were indeed familiar faces. The person who appeared opening the carriage door was a townsman from the neighboring town – an elderly man. His name was Hadley.

Originally, you could say he was a prominent figure in the neighboring town. I heard he was well-connected in various places and had been treated for injuries by Mother.

Though… I heard he retired after the incident with the King of Deathly Slumber.

Had his body weakened with age? He was helped down from the carriage by other townspeople.

…Seeing them again like this, I thought how everyone looked older and more haggard. That was something I’d anticipated from Carter and the others’ stories.

When I closed my eyes, memories surfaced behind my eyelids – townspeople bringing crops to Mother’s house saying it was thanks, being patted on the head by townspeople… several such memories revived.

Yes. There were indeed peaceful times like that too. Though they changed after the King of Deathly Slumber’s attack.

People desperately fleeing along the winter highway. That demon’s figure coming through the snow. Mother’s back as she went to battle. Flashes of light and explosions.

The battle ended with the scene of Mother and the demon striking each other down and falling to the ground.

Mother suffering painfully on her sickbed. The townspeople who rushed to the house… must have seen that and heard stories from survivors of the King of Deathly Slumber’s attack. They feared disease or curses would befall them.

Unable to do anything, they shook off my hand and disappeared into the dark, snow-filled night… all we could do was watch them go.

“—Theo”

As I took a deep breath, opened my eyes, and was about to head for the doorway, Grace stopped me. When I turned, everyone was looking at me.

“Yeah. It’s fine. Let’s go.”

“Yes.”

When I answered with a small smile, Grace quietly nodded.

I went out the doorway and descended the stairs leading to the entrance. The townspeople noticed I had come out, and their gazes gathered on me.

“O… oh…”

“…Th, Theodore-sama”

Hadley noticed me, his eyes widening as he stumbled forward one, two steps. The other townspeople too. They looked at me and stiffened.

Then Hadley knelt on the snow as if half-collapsing. Following his example, the townspeople also knelt on the snow.

When I reached the front of them, Hadley spoke in a trembling voice.

“We are so sorry… Coming now like this… we have no words to explain ourselves. We came here prepared to accept any punishment.”

Saying that, they simply offered words of apology.

…Punishment, huh. I told Father and the others and Carter’s group that I had no intention of punishing them.

Apparently, Father hadn’t conveyed that information to the townspeople at all.

It seemed the townspeople had told Father they came prepared for punishment, and in that case, to rely on Carter and the others. Father probably revealed that information to me because I told him I had no intention of punishing them.

If they’re apologizing because they’re afraid of revenge. If they’re apologizing because I have power, that’s nothing but self-preservation. To gauge their feelings, they need to show resolve, otherwise it’s meaningless.

Father didn’t give them extra information so he could see that.

“I have something I want to ask. Why now?”

When I asked that, there was silence. Eventually one person spoke. A man named Ronnie. Looking at him again, he resembled Carter.

“At that time… we were just trying to protect ourselves. But from that day on, none of us had anything left… not even anything to be proud of. We were made to realize that only now.”

Ah… Being made to realize probably refers to the argument with the children.

“Themselves” probably includes family who weren’t there that day. Not saying “family” is probably because they know that would become an excuse.

No doubt they had been carrying that day with them. That was clear from Carter and the others’ stories of their daily lives and their current haggard appearance.

Even after the demon was gone, daily life continued. They could immerse themselves in just living, convince themselves that their actions were to protect their families, and try to simply not look, to forget… but when asked by the children they tried to protect whether it was right, they had to face what they had been carrying since that day.

“…I want to make this clear to you all. I didn’t hear you out in order to punish you. Mother’s enemy was that demon, not you all. So I didn’t want you kneeling like this or apologizing to me.”

But, let me say what I want to say.

“I understand wanting to protect your families. I comprehend it too. Just… I didn’t want only Mother to receive such a lonely answer. That’s the only thing I’ve always wanted to say.”

That’s what I’ve always, always felt toward them.

It’s not about forgiving or not forgiving. I just wanted them to listen and think.

…This might be childish resentment. But it’s undoubtedly the feelings I’ve been carrying.

I turned and looked at Grace. Grace quietly lowered her eyes, then raised her face and spoke.

“What I want to say… Theo has said it. At that time, I regretted being unable to do anything. I’m here so I’ll never regret again. So I believe your words about wanting to protect precious people.”

If you live to stand up and not regret. If it’s to protect your families, then it’s the same as me, so I believe. That’s probably what Grace’s words meant.

“We… did something irreparable…”

Sobs leaked from here and there. I took a deep breath, then continued speaking.

“Please, stand up now. Your feelings… I want you to convey them directly at Mother’s grave. If there’s anything I want from you, that’s all of it, and I believe it definitely won’t be meaningless.”

Just as spirits receive people’s thoughts. Just as Grantios’s Mother of Mercy has continued protecting all along.

Words and feelings will surely reach Mother… I think that now.

I don’t think Mother would refuse to forgive being unable to do anything, fleeing from fear. She wouldn’t blame them either.

I looked up at the continuously snowing sky.

The childish resentment within me—what I wanted to say as Theodore—I definitely conveyed it. I definitely heard their feelings too.

I understood they had been tormented by guilt. If there was retribution for their actions that day, then that’s enough.

I think… it’s already sufficient that they’ve carried regrets since that day.