Chapter 297

A difference in mindset?

Frankly, a desire to deny it momentarily churned within me.

In the past too, I had approached duels with sincerity, and now as well, I was striving with all my might to surpass her.

But on the other hand, I felt I somewhat understood what Cheong Joohwa was trying to say.

The mindset she referred to was probably not that kind of resolve.

“Are you saying I’m fundamentally misunderstanding something?”

“I’m not sure if ‘misunderstanding’ is the right word. It’s just… something I’ve often felt for quite some time now.”

Cheong Joohwa said.

To her, among the Exorcists she was acquainted with, I possessed the highest level of skill and had consistently been a source of amazement from our first meeting until now.

“It felt almost like a perfect superhuman, you could say? To the point where I had this baseless belief that you could overcome anyone, no matter who came.”

Frankly, that’s excessive praise.

It might have seemed that way on the surface, but in reality, it was not at all.

And Cheong Joohwa immediately dug into that point.

“You yourself don’t think so, do you?”

“…Right. I just have various talents, but I’ve never once felt I was a special being.”

“That’s how it seemed. I’ve wondered about that strange disconnect several times.”

Of course, I now view and acknowledge my own abilities somewhat objectively.

Hwabaek told me about it, and the first trial of the Cheonghongyeong added to my belief in myself.

Thinking that far, my gaze was drawn to the memory I recalled earlier, and I muttered without realizing it.

“Belief in myself…?”

Yes. I distinctly felt that sense of fullness after passing the first trial of the Cheonghongyeong.

And Cheong Joohwa had said. The Cheonghongyeong might simply be trying to convey something to me consistently through the trials.

“Can you sincerely imagine yourself becoming the representative of a nation, or reaching the highest position as an Exorcist?”

“……”

That much seemed possible.

However, when I seriously tried to envision that image, I realized it was a mistaken thought.

“…No, not really.”

It feels alien.

Above all, I myself am subconsciously denying it within my heart.

And only then could I clearly recognize the thought rooted deepest in my heart.

‘I am not that great or special of a person.’

I have skills worthy of pride, and I also have the confidence that I can pull my weight anywhere.

But… that’s it.

I am merely a part of the world living one life; the thought that I could become something more than that doesn’t occur to me.

And if there are beings for whom that is possible, as I said earlier, people like Ciel would be the right candidates.

‘…Is that it?’

The reason the Cheonghongyeong summoned Ciel as my opponent for the second trial—I only realized it just now.

She is the one who perfectly matches the limit I had set for myself deep in my heart.

“I can’t really explain it well either… but did the general nuance get across?”

“…Yeah. At least I understand what kind of trial this is.”

It’s a belated thought, but the Cheonghongyeong is truly an outstanding Cursed Tool without a doubt.

It looked into a deficiency I hadn’t even faced myself and presented it steadily as a task.

That’s why I somehow felt the intuition that I must overcome it.

‘But… is it possible?’

The area where the Cheonghongyeong posed its question was close to the fundamental realm of being human.

It’s not something that can be changed by simple thoughts or resolve; an area nearly impossible to control oneself.

How can one block what one’s own heart feels and thinks with mere willpower?

If that were possible, one could truly be called a special being beyond a Mortal.

And that is precisely the image of the protagonists in the games I’ve watched and played.

‘……’

In short, the Cheonghongyeong was telling me to truly act as the main character who will save this world.

Whoosh!

Rumble rumble rumble!

Clang clang clang!

No matter how many times I saw it, it was truly a magnificent sight.

Stone pillars that seemed to reach the sky rose, and statues of warriors filled one side of my vision.

Before me, having entered the trial space once more, the Partheum Temple’s Arena displayed its majestic form.

“……”

The moment I was admiring it, the blonde woman gestured to me from the center of the arena once again, and I made the duel sign I had repeated dozens of times already.

This makes the twenty-fifth. My record is 0 wins, 24 losses.

Screech!

Holding a dagger densely inscribed with Cursed Technique, Ciel, expressionless as always, charged at me.

“Clear Chain Binding, Beckoning Tiger’s Compliance.”

Whoosh!

Crash clang─!

Chains of blue light made of Spiritual Power obstructed her path, and a Curse that degraded bodily functions encroached all around, but her charge showed absolutely no hesitation.

Thud!

Thump!

Clang!

In an instant, all the chains were severed. Also, Ciel’s Binding Art, Bridget’s Shard, which had been deployed at some point, wrapped around one of my ankles.

“Keuseundae, Mighty Ghost, Right Hand Ghost.”

Whoosh.

Swoosh!

The Shikigami with high close-combat abilities blocked Ciel’s charge, and I used that opening to free myself from the restraint and employed the Flying Shadow Step Art Formula to escape her range.

As in the past, my battles with Ciel generally followed this pattern.

The opponent desperately tries to close the distance, and I fend it off while looking for an opportunity.

However, within that simple process, countless exchanges of offense and defense are mixed.

“Yin-Yang Five Elements Art. Fire.”

Whoosh!

Kongsami, who had been waiting on the flank, shot out intense flames, and my Cursed Technique, perfectly timed, amplified them.

But the opponent’s defensive technique was also complete, and simultaneously, Ciel, who had seized the next move first, instead pressed Kongsami.

Crackle!

Sizzle!

“…Burn.”

Kongsami, having narrowly escaped the attack, returned to my shadow, and I fired three Curses in succession while closely watching her next move.

“Fear-Bringing Delusion. Ember-Clinging Jealousy. Encircling Slaughter Tainted Wave.”

I can’t win like this. That I had clearly realized through the past twenty-four challenges.

But I kept repeating to myself internally, sending belief in myself.

I can become anything.

I can defeat the Ciel before my eyes, defeat Polar Night, and ultimately bring a complete conclusion to this world.

However, the more I fought and fought, the stronger the intuition grew that this wasn’t it.

‘Like this… it won’t work.’

I displayed strong will, but in reality, nothing had changed from before.

Indeed, the answer the Cheonghongyeong demanded from me was not something that could be fulfilled by mere differences in perception or trivial vows.

With this contrived will, nothing could be changed.

I felt a suffocating sensation along with endless helplessness and realized my mind was gradually turning blank without my knowing.

Too many distracting thoughts.

Even though I knew it wasn’t the time, only theoretical worries about how to overcome this trial kept increasing in my head.

Clang─!

As that repeated and repeated, the moment I finally allowed the first effective hit from Ciel, I decided, as if entranced, to just let everything go.

‘…Right. Let’s forget everything.’

The memories of the twenty-four challenges, the memories of analyzing her fighting style and its strengths and weaknesses, and even the memories of the countless past matches we had fought.

Whoosh!

Clatter!

She and I are meeting here for the first time, exchanging moves for the first time.

And at least in this space, the Night Parade of One Hundred Specters, the old enemy Polar Night, and everything else do not exist.

I am simply here to enjoy the match, aiming for the highest place, just like when I used to frequent this Partheum Temple’s Arena.

“Ember-Clinging Jealousy. Encircling Slaughter Tainted Wave.”

Clang clang cling!

Crash─!

And only then could I welcome a new perspective I had never seen before.

I can’t explain it well in words, but something was different.

Even though she was an opponent I had faced and lost to so many times, every single one of her actions felt so utterly new.

‘…I see.’

Being familiar with her was not an advantage but a poison.

Despite having gone through so many hardships and grown, I had been bound by the ‘her’ I knew and experienced until now, repeating the same mistakes as in the past.

“There was no need to do it like that at all.”

Clang─!

For the first time, my Curse pierced her mountain-like defense and delivered a sure strike.

And the immediate counterattack that followed, I could also return it so naturally, as if I had known it in advance.

“……”

It was a truly strange and bizarre feeling.

I had thought nothing had changed since I first fell into this world, but I had already changed this much without realizing it.

“Death Transcending Wheel.”

I had the upper hand, but I didn’t want to think about anything else. I simply immersed myself in the match in a state of selflessness, purely enjoying it for the first time in a long while.

Before I knew it, the outcome had been decided.

“…Hoo. Hah.”

Her, kneeling on one knee on the cold stone floor, breathing heavily, and me, looking at her with an expression of incomprehension.

Ciel, having placed her weapon on the ground, stood up, approached me, and finally opened her tightly shut mouth for the first time.

“When we first fought in the duel arena, there was something I couldn’t manage to say.”

A vague memory surfaces.

I did my best but ultimately faced a perfect, helpless defeat, and I felt that towering wall from her for the first time then.

Honestly, I don’t remember well what her expression was like when our eyes met.

However, from her following words, I could fully understand the emotion she must have felt back then.

“…I set foot here after watching your play. It was a pleasure to be able to spar with you.”

The moment she uttered the exact final syllable, Ciel’s figure disappeared before my eyes like a mirage.

And the Partheum Temple’s Arena also began to collapse with tremendous noise, slowly crumbling down.

Rumble rumble!

Rumble!

I had passed a trial that seemed impossible, but I felt no excitement or joy.

Rather, it was accurate to say it was difficult to gauge how to express this emotion in words.

However, amidst it all, there was one emotion I clearly recognized.

“……”

It was an incredibly refreshing feeling, as if a hole had been punched through my chest.