Chapter 54

Chapter 54

The cat burrowed into Sonia’s arms, limp and listless. Even after changing carriages several times and riding the long road back to Cuvershaiden, it didn’t move a muscle.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have taken him?”

Worried about the little thing, I muttered to myself.

“Yeah. He looks so lifeless. But soon… he’ll be okay, right?”

Sonia patted the cat in her arms as she answered.

Yeah. He’ll perk up. Even if it takes time, he’ll get there.

Back then, I really believed that. I had this hope that he’d live well at Cuvershaiden from now on. It felt so natural, that thought.

But against our wishes, the cat couldn’t muster any strength, even days later. He spent whole days sleeping in Ann’s room, and when he did spot me, he’d pad over and circle around me. Then he’d let out a thin, cracking meow.

Meow, meow——

Come to think of it, that creature had always acted like he wanted something from me. Meowing just like that.

Meow——

So what had he been trying to tell me?

Suddenly, I remembered the first day he’d circled around me. That day, he’d been looking for his owner. His owner, dying in a different alley.

Ah. That’s it.

Looking back now, whenever he paced around me and meowed at me, his owner was never there. Maybe he’d been asking me all along. To take him to his owner. But I hadn’t understood. I’d just assumed he liked me, a shallow thought.

* * *

“He hasn’t been eating much lately.”

Ann looked down at the cat that had crept up to my feet and spoke.

“Right, he used to be chubby, but now he looks kinda thin.”

Sonia chimed in.

It was true—he no longer looked plump. The gloss that had shone in his fur, thanks to his previous owner’s meticulous care, had dulled.

“He’s been like this ever since we went to the funeral, right? I thought he wouldn’t understand… but it seems like he knows his owner’s dead.”

“Seems that way. Anyway, if he keeps this up, he might starve to death.”

Whether she knew the ladies-in-waiting were worried or not, the cat kept pacing around my feet. Biting my lip with a heavy heart, I crouched down in front of the little creature and grasped both its front paws tightly in my hands.

“No. You have to eat properly.”

And if you keep this up, how am I supposed to face your owner in the afterlife, after she entrusted you to my care?

Of course, the cat didn’t understand me. It just meowed a few times. And that meow felt like a plea to see its owner again.

‘I get it, but you can’t meet your owner anymore…’

I fidgeted with its round paws, thinking. Honestly, I hadn’t known animals could show symptoms like depression. It felt like I hadn’t been paying enough attention. My heart wasn’t in a good place.

After that day, the ladies-in-waiting started paying the cat a little more attention. But that didn’t mean it started eating well. Even when it did eat, it would only take a tiny bit—just enough to stay alive—then retreat to its spot to sleep.

Day by day, it grew thinner, and its fur became more ragged. I felt like one day it would just up and die, and it wouldn’t be strange at all.

Meow—

Today, just like every other day, the creature was crying as it looked at me. A voice like a strangled throat came from its ever-more-emaciated head.

“This thing’s going to die if we don’t do something.”

Unable to watch any longer, Sonia spoke worriedly. I was worried too. It felt like I had to do something.

“Let’s take it to its owner’s grave one more time.”

“What? No, why?”

Sonia whipped around to look at me, asking back in confusion.

“ Actually… it seems like it follows me whenever it’s looking for its owner. Look now. It’s only staring at me.”

“So you’re saying this means it’s asking us to find its owner?”

“I think so… And isn’t this thing pining away because it can’t see its owner? That’s why I’m thinking we should at least take it to the grave. Of course, it won’t be able to see its owner’s face… but still.”

“Hmm…”

Sonia paused as if lost in thought for a moment. But soon, she gave a small nod.

“Alright. Let’s do it. At this rate, the thing is just going to die anyway. Better to try something than nothing.”

“……Yeah……”

Right there, I crouched down in front of the cat and stroked it. The rough texture of its coarsened coat felt prickly against my palm.

The next day, one of the ladies-in-waiting, who had the day off, volunteered to take the cat to the cemetery. But when she came back, she wasn’t with the creature.

“Sorry. I couldn’t bring it back.”

She glanced at us nervously and spoke.

“The moment we arrived, she jumped out of my arms and headed straight for the grave. So I figured I’d let her spend some time there, then bring her back… But she kept running off, and I couldn’t catch her. Even when I did, she’d thrash and twist to break free. And she cried so much that toward the end, I started worrying she’d harm herself like that. I had no choice but to leave her there…”

That left us quiet for a long moment. No one spoke, but I could feel us all picturing the same end for that cat. A short silence settled in, and then Sonia broke it first.

“…You couldn’t help it. Forcing her to come back would’ve made things worse. Let’s just think about what to do next.”

But we didn’t have any brilliant ideas either. All we could do was take turns checking on her. A feeling of helplessness clogged my chest. Every move we made for that cat seemed to spiral into an unintended consequence.

So time passed, and before I knew it, the night breeze had started carrying hints of warm air — the season was shifting. I stepped outside the garden for the first time in a while to check on the cat ghost. There’d been plenty going on, but I couldn’t afford to stop the work of sending souls to ascension.

I crouched down near where the catnip was planted, and not long after, the cat ghost appeared, slinking into view. As soon as it showed up, it started rubbing its face against the catnip leaves. Then it paused, spotted me, and let out a soft *meow*.

So this one cries when it sees me too.

I held its gaze and slowly closed my eyes. But the moment I lifted my eyelids again, the cat had vanished.

Huh?

Startled, I glanced around. But the darkened garden lay still and silent — the cat was nowhere in sight.

It wasn’t ascension. Its soul hadn’t gathered into light and risen to the sky. And this wasn’t an exorcism either — I hadn’t done a thing to it.

What the…? Did it just hide itself?

I got back to my feet, a frown tugging at my brow. Maybe it had vanished because it didn’t like me being there. It’d never done that before, but cats were fickle creatures by nature, weren’t they?

This is a problem… I’ve still got to help it ascend.

But since there wasn’t much I could do about it right now, I turned and headed back toward the manor. Ascension planning could wait. I went straight to my room and got ready for bed. Then, out of nowhere, a short knock came from outside the door. *Tock tock.*

Who’s there?

It was the dead of night, so I cracked the door open with a tense breath. To my relief, it wasn’t some ghost peering through the gap — it was Ann.

“Ann?”

She looked at me with a forlorn expression. A chill of dread crept up my spine before I could stop it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Listen, Laura. I went to see Choco today…”

“Huh? You just got back? Why so late? Did something happen?”

“Something… yeah, something happened. Um, Laura. Don’t be shocked, okay?”

“……Okay.”

When someone tells you not to be shocked, it’s as good as saying they’ve brought news that’ll knock you flat. I steeled myself with a slow nod.

“So, Laura. Choco died today.”

“……What?”

“I went there with some food, but he hadn’t even touched what I gave him last time… He just… seemed like he was refusing to eat. He looked weaker, too… So I thought I should bring him back by force if I had to… But he stopped breathing before I could even touch him.”

“Ah…”

“I buried his body secretly, next to his owner’s grave.”

“……I see.”

I’d expected the little guy to die. But even so, hearing it aloud sank a heavy gloom into me in an instant.

“Since you were the one who brought him here first, I figured I should tell you… But now I don’t know how to break it to the others.”

Ann sighed softly and ran a hand through her hair. Her words struck a chord with me. I still remembered the day that cat first arrived at Cuvershaiden Manor — the excited chatter of the ladies-in-waiting that wouldn’t quit.

“Ann, just go inside and rest for tonight. When morning comes, we’ll tell the others together.”

“Okay. Thanks. I’ll head off now. Laura… goodnight.”

“Yeah. You too.”

Ann trudged back down the corridor with heavy, dragging footsteps. I watched her retreating figure fade into the distance before closing the door. I crawled into bed and shut my eyes, but sleep, of course, refused to come.

‘So. That cat’s dead. He went to see his owner far too soon.’

I’d promised his owner, who asked me to look after him, that I would. And it wasn’t an empty promise. I’d meant to treat him well, truly. Besides, all the ladies-in-waiting had welcomed him. Every single one of them was ready to be kind to that little creature.

The feeling was strange. Like a hole had been punched clean through my heart. This kind of loss — like a piece of me had been carved out — would never get familiar, no matter how many times it came.