Chapter 8: Bleak Reality Suffocates

“The reason why I do not filthily crave life—claiming I shall be resurrected, like those wretched Demon Kings from hundreds or even a thousand years ago. A clever boy like you should be able to guess it by now.”

Exactly as she said.

Kariel spoke, breathing heavily with effort.

“Are you saying that humanity’s belief that they won was a delusion? That you never actually lost, and that you achieved everything you desired during your lifetime… and that is why you have no lingering regrets or sorrows, is that what you want to say now?”

“Correct, kiddo.”

The Demon King tossed the Iron Sword in her hand into the air and laughed, crossing her arms.

“As you said, I have never been defeated. And the moment I invaded the Middle Realm, success was already a decided matter.”

“But humanity stopped you, didn’t they? You died… Wait. Were the demons who betrayed you actually pieces you had placed on the board?”

“I simply provided a way for them to survive in my own manner. After all, shouldn’t a king ensure the future of his obedient subordinates and people and embrace them?”

Could it be that even the group of demon traitors was a fruit of her intention?

“The racial traits are quite rough, but there are always outliers among them. Those who are peaceful and love rural life would find the Middle Realm more livable. The people here don’t realize what a blessing it is to have good air and clean water.”

“…….”

“You look confused. My, my~ look at me, bragging to a kid! I really am quite terrible!”

The Demon King was openly arrogant.

Since her behavior matched her appearance, there was no sense of incongruity.

Furthermore.

The fact that even this childish boasting was not mere bluffing was quite ominous.

“Returning to the subject, if you continue to waste your precious time in the way they do, your future will likely become very opaque. Not even clear, just about the color of ink?”

“You certainly… know how to create a situation where I have no choice but to trust and rely on you.”

“Nope~ I’m just bragging~! Ugh! Did it sound like that? Like I said, I have no intention of teaching you anything. Offering your soul? A contract? No way! I told you, the ship has sailed.”

“The opportunity….”

“Yes. In the end, whether you seize it or not. That is all that remains.”

Therefore, you need to realize the three things I mentioned earlier.

“Accuracy. Efficiency. And… sincerity?”

“The reason I’ve been beating you down with words under the guise of bragging was to make you realize two of those.”

Accuracy and efficiency.

Regarding their meaning and necessity.

“Then what on earth does sincerity mean? Desperation? Earnestness?”

“Those are, of course, included. Do you know what it means to exert sincerity or put your whole heart into something? Have you ever actually experienced it?”

“I….”

“Risking your life, burning your soul, or pouring in every last ounce of strength. They all carry the same meaning. Perhaps the expression ‘gritting one’s teeth and running’ is too mild? Though for some, even that might be excessive.”

In short.

“Pouring everything in to achieve a goal, to reach the desired conclusion. Revealing everything about yourself without hiding a single speck. The forms of expression vary, but you can guess the point, right?”

“…In my head, yes.”

“That’s enough.”

If you cannot understand it with your head, how could you understand it with your heart?

There are those who understand instinctively with their heart and body.

But even so, that is nothing more than a temporary, impulsive, and sudden stroke of luck.

“Whether or not you can handle this intentionally and arbitrarily will completely dictate the nature of your subsequent training and your future growth potential.”

“Then how do I get— ah.”

“I like how quick-witted you are.”

She said with a bright smile.

“I won’t tell you. So, realize it for yourself.”

For that purpose, first.

Just die sincerely, a light 100 times.

With a bright smile.

The Demon King, with the face of a young girl, delivered the cruel sentence.

“Ah! Don’t worry too much! You’ll never actually die in reality! You know, don’t you? That this is inside a dream.”

====

He thought an Arrow Barrage would pour down as before.

It did not.

Only a stark white space.

A small sword lying on the ground.

…And himself, thrown into that empty void.

“…….”

Kariel was quick-witted.

Had he been slower, he would have rolled through even greater pain and humiliation than he had now.

It wouldn’t have stopped at being framed or suffering from slander.

He would have been buried under all sorts of malicious slander and defamation, falling into deeper despair and resignation, struggling within self-loathing.

Like.

A fawn that had lost the strength to struggle after falling into a swamp.

However, being quick-witted and having a fast-rotating brain does not always lead to positive results.

Because the approaching despair becomes that much larger.

The absurdities and disadvantages he would be given.

Moreover, the pain that would result from them.

He would imagine it more vividly than ever.

It is called prediction, or anticipation.

The greatest weapon of a sentient human, and at the same time, a double-edged sword that forces and blocks human drive and action.

Die.

Just die sincerely 100 times.

“Are you… telling me to… commit suicide?”

A sword is lying there.

A space with nothing else.

The clue was so straightforward that his hands trembled just from it.

In the bleached, blank world without a single noise, Kariel realized he had been cast away without any rhyme or reason.

“100 times?”

It sounds easy.

Too easy.

Even written as a number, it isn’t that large.

If it were 100 pieces of fruit, it would be a considerable amount, but it could be accommodated in several large boxes.

In terms of gold, silver, or copper coins, the volume and amount would be even smaller.

“…….”

With a devastated face, Kariel struggled to pick up the sprawled sword.

No matter how much he racked his brain, this was not a problem where the answer could be found in that way.

The one who posed the problem was the Demon King.

And the answer the Demon King expected was a straightforward frontal breakthrough without compromise.

In other words….

“Sincerity. Earnestness. Desperation.”

Am I desperate?

Or, am I earnest?

Do I have the will to become strong?

Yes. I think I did.

Though it disappeared at some point.

Everything felt meaningless.

I did it because I was told to.

But there was no sense of reward.

As time passed, he realized it more and more.

“Meaning….”

There is no meaning.

Does a breakthrough open up if you put in effort?

No.

Until this moment.

Until the Demon King pointed it out clearly, everyone said that was the right way.

They shouted it in anger.

So.

I blindly accepted it as if it were a faith, then fell into despair, constantly lamenting my circumstances.

I have been discouraged all the way until today.

Therefore, I don’t even know the method.

Truly, I have lost my way.

Since childhood, he had occasionally received guidance on the sword from his father, but the conclusion was always that he needed to solidify the basics.

And the world, while he was under his father, belittled and pushed him, asking why he couldn’t even do that much.

At least.

By the standards of his father, Lueld, Kariel was someone who had not yet formed a foundation or basics, despite striving and striving for a long time.

Above all, he was naturally poor at manipulating Magical Power.

Naturally, since the limit of his Magical Power reception was clear, his talent for magic, rather than the sword, was also dismissed.

“Ha….”

Was he at least smart? Was his memorization ability superior? Did he have a talent for mental calculation or formula combinations?

That wasn’t the case either.

It was only because he memorized desperately and challenged himself repeatedly, shoving it in until he understood, that his written and theoretical grades were decent.

But practical application was different.

Even though he poured more time into that side.

He achieved no great results in magic, swordsmanship.

Nor even in any other field.

If the sword didn’t work, other weapons or tools.

If he wasn’t suited for handling armaments, then in a direction that used the body.

…But because the root, the foundation, was flimsy, even if he worked and suffered twice as hard as others, he was always guaranteed results and grades below expectations.

Sitting at a desk and wrestling with books was relatively easier.

Because that, at least, guaranteed results proportional to the effort.

“…….”

But.

…Even in that, someone would spend only one-fifth or one-tenth of his time and achieve greater results than he did.

Why is the world so unfair?

Why am I.

So incompetent.

So powerless.

Am I truly the… of the hero who saved the world….

“…….”

He took a deep breath.

Until his lungs reached their limit.

Do not run away.

Do not turn your eyes away from reality, intoxicated by the idea of being the protagonist of a tragedy.

The given task is simple.

Die.

100 times.

If others cannot kill me.

“I will….”

I will simply kill my own hateful self.

The heavy blade held in both hands.

The sensation of it piercing through the center of the neck, sharply tearing through skin and muscle from the starting point to the torso.

An unfathomable, intense nausea surged from his entire body, making him gag.

But for now, a greater despair strikes as he realizes he will not die immediately.

It hurts.

Not even an unsightly scream escapes his mouth.

The sound of wind disappearing, blood flowing and spurting, and bubbles bursting can be heard… but that was all.

‘Ah….’

In that pain and bone-deep regret.

What I thought of then was.

That next time, I must definitely die cleanly.

An utterly filthy regret.

A struggle, lost in pain.

An indescribable frustration that crushed even that.

Those were the only things surging within him.

…….

But why?

‘…….’

It was strange.

But he felt a little relieved.

“Complacency is just another name for giving up….”

“Gasp?!”

The Demon King sneered in front of the revived Kariel.

“Don’t lose sight of your goal. Who told you to accept death, endure it, and resign? If you keep that up, you won’t die 100 times, but hundreds, or perhaps even a thousand times.”

Don’t lose your center.

Why you ended up doing this bullshit here.

“Dig deep. Engrave it. Think. Use your head. Find the answer as if burning your heart. Crave it!”

“……Even if you don’t tell me!”

He plunged the sword, held in a Reverse Hand, toward his heart this time.

Naturally, even this did not bring the blessing of losing consciousness from a quick death. He was not rewarded.

“Urgh!”

I know.

I know it better than you do!

Suddenly.

A sense of skepticism surged, wondering if he really had to go this far.

Is this the only way I can become strong?

Only by doing this.

…The thought that this was the only way to be treated as a human being at the very least.

Suddenly, he felt exhausted and sorrowful.

Yes.

I.

This moment.

……Was just too grueling.