Would it be a lie to say I saw this coming?

That something like this would happen in the end.

That the things I wished for would never come to pass.

Would it be a lie to say I had expected as much?

“I’m sorry, Captain.”

“…”

“But I think this is for the best.”

I felt as though I had heard Lope’s cold voice in a dream once. But then, it had been quite a long time since I last dreamed, so the truth was I had known all along that things would turn out this way. Lope would not be able to give me the Mark. I would never find salvation.

And neither would my son. Because of my sins, he would never find salvation.

The truth was, I had known these things with bone-deep certainty.

I had committed far too many sins to be making wishes to the heavens. I had killed many on the battlefield, put many others to rest off it, and abandoned even my remaining duties. To harbor hope at all was, in itself, absurd.

So it was only right to give up now.

I could no longer force Lope to save me. No matter that he was my own son — demanding that someone sacrifice themselves for a complete stranger was shameless.

It would be better to hurry back to my son and think about how to spend our remaining time meaningfully.

Roselia. The Lopez couple too. They met the worst possible end because they failed to grasp this truth. It is common sense in this world that if you fail to cherish what you hold in your hands, you lose even what you already have.

Following that universal common sense, the action I needed to take now was simple.

Nod at Lope’s words, turn around without lingering regret, and disappear.

That would be the last thing I could do for him as an adult.

…

But I had always lived in an irrational world.

A world where the country I devoted myself to modified my body, where the family I loved abandoned me, and where even on the island I fled to seeking peace, I was forced to kill. An irrational world.

That world taught me a different lesson.

Take by force rather than be taken from.

Struggle rather than resign yourself.

And drown in guilt.

The rules I had chosen to forget reestablished themselves, and reason and common sense retreated into shadow. And the dead reached up to grab my ankles, crying out:

That you, too, are no different in the end.

I accepted this and nodded. Then I voiced my hardened resolve.

“Lope.”

“Captain.”

But the boy was sharp, and he had already read my true intentions. I had merely called his name, yet he seemed to predict what was about to unfold from my voice and tone alone.

The corners of my mouth rose before I knew it. Whether it was self-deprecation or joy at watching a boy I cared for grow up, I couldn’t tell. Piercing through that subtle chain of misperception, Lope spoke in a desperate voice.

“Don’t do this.”

“Please don’t do this, Captain.”

I looked at her and pressed the point once more. I hadn’t heard her say anything explicit yet, but I could tell from her eyes, her voice, and her trembling fingers what was coming. And she made no effort to deny it, either.

“It can’t be helped.”

“No. We can just go our separate ways now. We’ll head to the harbor. You’ll go home. You know there’s no choice left.”

“No. You still have a choice, Lope. You’ve simply chosen to give up.”

“No, I—”

“The one who truly has no choice is me.”

She suddenly let out a self-deprecating laugh. Then she repeated the words I had said.

“Good heavens — go our separate ways, you say. It’s a polite way of putting it, but a cruel one. It amounts to telling me to give up everything.”

“You said it yourself earlier. That you would do everything for your son. If you keep staying by my side, you’ll have a hard time fulfilling that wish.”

“If I fail to persuade you, then that’s how it will be.”

“My mind is already made up.”

“Right. It certainly looks that way to me as well. And naturally so. A beloved lover, a cherished junior, and my son whose face you’ve never even seen. The choice among the three is clear enough.”

Reciting obvious truths meant she intended to reach an irrational conclusion. And this time would be no exception.

“But Lope. You know. You know I can’t give up that easily.”

“Captain.”

“Putting distance between us now won’t end this.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

I shifted my body to shield Saya and Haru behind my back. Then I looked her squarely in the eyes and spoke.

“Who among us should give up their passage for your son? Saya, who brought us the Marks? Haru, who followed us all the way here even after losing an arm? Or should I be the one to give up?”

“…”

“You said it yourself on the island. That choosing who to bring along was my responsibility. Yet now you’re telling me to reconsider who should give up their passage.”

“Even to my own ears, that sounds cruel.”

“Why are you doing this when you know full well I don’t want to act this way either.”

Emotion seeped into what had been a calculated exchange. Suddenly everything felt bitterly unfair, and a surging hatred for this world crashed over me like a tide. I hated this world that had once forced me to choose and now demanded I give up — and I hated myself, trapped within it, with a maddening intensity.

“I don’t want to drag this out and give you false hope. That’s why I’m telling you now. Because I don’t want to be a burden anymore. Because I don’t want to weigh on your conscience. You know that’s why I’m doing this.”

“Yes. I know.”

“Then why are you doing this? Do you think giving up is easy for me? I’m only asking you to choose what’s more precious to you.”

“I understand.”

“Of course you understand. Surely you do. Everyone understands, everyone knows I’m only human. So why? Why! Why is it always me!”

Before I knew it, I was shouting. I knew full well that none of this was Ms. Rebecca’s fault, but her lips seemed to speak for the will of the world, and fury surged through me. Why only me. Why the fuck only me.

Even in a crumbling world, I had to keep giving things up?

Sure. Of course everyone was giving something up. Roselia did, Lena did, Erika did.

But I had been doing nothing but giving up long before the world came to this. I had nothing to begin with and lost everything I had. So shouldn’t I at least be done with giving up, now of all times?

Please — can’t I at least have that?

“Then am I not allowed even that, Captain?”

“…”

I don’t know when the words started spilling from my mouth. Before I knew it, heat had crept all the way up to my temples. Ms. Rebecca spoke to me in a soft, measured voice.

“I’m sorry, Lope.”

“…”

“But it can’t be helped.”

Finally, she lowered her head as though in resignation. Then, slowly exhaling steam, she spoke.

“Listen, all three of you. Give me the Marks right now.”

“Captain…”

“Otherwise, I will kill Lope.”

“Stop, Rebecca!”

Haru’s desperate voice pierced the air. But fate had already been sealed.

“Must you really do this?”

“I’ll count to three.”

“Captain, please…”

“One.”

“I said stop, Rebecca…ugh.”

“Two.”

“Haru. Don’t push yourself, stay still—”

“Three.”

The emotionless countdown came to an end while Haru thrashed behind me. Even then, I stared ahead, still unable to believe what was happening.

But she had already made her choice. The next moment, a heavy metal fist came hurtling toward me.

“Captain…!”

“Lope!”

And at that same moment, Saya leapt into my field of vision.

Saya, launched into the air in an instant, stomped down on Ms. Rebecca’s fist. Then she spun quickly and kicked her across the face.

“…!”

“Ugh…”

But Saya’s kick wasn’t powerful enough to stop Ms. Rebecca. Not because she lacked strength, but because she had hesitated mid-strike. Ms. Rebecca seemed to realize this as well, and spoke in a voice devoid of emotion.

“You’re still not used to the sensation of human flesh being crushed beneath your feet, are you?”

“Ugh…”

“I was worried you might be corrupted by violence. But it seems that’s what frightens you instead.”

“…You’re right. But if you try to kill Lope, I won’t hesitate.”

“Indeed. But Saya. There is a great difference between thinking and acting.”

“I…”

“And I have no intention of hesitating.”

“Please stop!”

Saya screamed as though desperate and thrust out her leg. But Ms. Rebecca dodged the kick not by instinct but by prediction, slipping inside her guard. Then she drove her fist toward the startled Saya.

In that instant, I shoved Saya aside and drew my sword.

“No!”

“Lope…!”

Haru and Saya tumbled to the ground at the same time, screaming. But without hesitation, I swung my blade at Ms. Rebecca’s throat. The swift strike grazed her forehead instead, scattering a spray of blood through the air.

“…!”

“…”

I took in the sight, then slowly stepped forward. Without looking back, I spoke.

“Saya. Take care of Haru.”

“But…”

“Please.”

“Huu…”

Meanwhile, Ms. Rebecca steadied her stance and let out a sigh. Blood was still flowing from the torn wound. She rubbed the wound roughly with her hand, then slowly raised her head.

“…”

From one eye ran bright red blood, from the other seeped gray oil, together betraying a tangled knot of emotions. Yet her expression remained utterly blank. Like a broken machine endlessly leaking the byproducts of life, she silently raised her fist.

And I, too, raised my sword overhead. It had been a long time since I last drew this blade, yet my stance held not a tremor of hesitation. The edge that had carved through the flesh of countless people now bared its fangs, ready to sever the throat of my master.

…

Why can’t this world render even the moment of surrender beautiful?

At the frayed edge of irreversible regret, Ms. Rebecca’s final whisper echoed low.

“I’m sorry. Lope.”