Chapter 20: It's really good for men, but there's no way to explain how.

-The mascot suit you guys are so obsessed with has a smelly bald guy with bushy leg hair inside. I saw him.

-There are tons of people starving on the other side of the world, aren’t you ashamed of wasting food?

-Acting cute is disgusting.

The office worker smeared the exhaustion accumulated at work onto a blade and swung it.

A video of a human doing stupid things while wearing a mascot suit.

Except for the ones he was forced to watch as Shorts, he didn’t watch them.

He’s just using them as a target to relieve stress because they’re popular these days.

It’s fame. Fame.

Some people are getting cursed at by their boss X, groveling to customer X, and earning money the hard way by working overtime.

And even that disappears after paying the monthly rent for this toilet-sized house he lives in.

Because they earn several times that amount just by shoving food in their mouths and acting a little cute.

Because they earn money so easily.

This is naturally a tax they should pay.

The office worker put his hand in his underwear and scratched vigorously.

“Ah, sh*t.”

He frowned at the pain and pulled his hand out.

After smelling the blood on his fingernails.

“F*ck. Do I need to go to the hospital?”

In a sh*tty small company, there’s no such thing as sick leave, and overtime is routine. To go to the hospital, you have to use annual leave, and even that makes you feel like you’re being watched.

The office worker, who didn’t want to waste precious holidays like that, searched the bulletin board.

Maybe it could be solved simply with medicine.

[Look at the b*stards scratching their balls with their hands in their underwear right now.]

I’m the guy who got dumped by his ex-girlfriend a year ago because his dick smelled like dick.

Back then, even f*cking wasn’t good; it just felt like I was going to die from the itch.

Just pulling down my underwear made it smell so much like dick it was truly sh*tty.

I was too f*cking embarrassed to go to the hospital, and I used every medicine there was, but f*ck those medicine-selling b*stards. They had zero effect.

While looking for something useful besides sh*tty medicine,

a f*cking awesome insole came out.

I thought it would cure my itchy dick since it kills f*cking athlete’s foot, and was about to use it,

but I gave up because I thought my precious dick would be f*cked.

But then something new came out that you apply to your face.

Since it’s for applying to your face, I thought it would be okay to apply it to my balls, so I tried it.

F*ck.

It felt like semen was being generated like crazy in my balls.

My balls got f*cking plump,

and the smell and itch disappeared,

so my confidence in my dick surged like crazy.

Wow, f*ck, there’s no way to explain how good it is.

—

-Manipulation.

-Alchemy Slime, you b*stard. Don’t post garbage here, go make insoles.

Most of the comments were insults that didn’t believe him.

The office worker also had no intention of being swayed by such promotions.

However, when he searched online for groin itch, he found information saying he needed to use medicine for at least a month and visit the hospital every week. It also said there was no guarantee even then if the condition was severe.

“Quack b*stards.”

He grabbed an empty bag and headed to the Seoul Central Alchemy Center.

It was still early morning, but the line was already long.

“Crazy b*stards.”

Sitting on his bag, he endured the long, long time of patience.

“F*ck. If this sh*tty hardship doesn’t work, just watch. I’ll sue no matter what.”

He would report everything he could, like excessive advertising and false advertising, and sue no matter the reason.

Vowing that, the office worker, who had difficulty obtaining <Pack Slime>, ran to the restroom.

The moment he attached the <Pack Slime> there.

“Oh, wow.”

He, who didn’t believe in God, said.

“Hallelujah.”

A similar groan was heard from the next stall in the restroom.

The office worker immediately took out his smartphone.

[Look at the b*stards scratching their b*lls with their hands in their underwear right now.]

The atmosphere of this post had completely changed.

-This is really good, but there’s no way to explain how.

-This is the real honey tip.

-Student, take down your post^^

The office worker left a short comment.

-F*ck, it’s f*cking good.

Suddenly, the rumor that the main body of the mascot suit video was Alchemy Slime came to mind.

He went to WTube and deleted all the comments he had posted so far.

And he wrote a new comment.

-As of today, I withdraw my support for Alchemy Slime.

From today, breaking free from the relationship of support,

Alchemy Slime and I become one body.

Any attack towards Alchemy Slime is considered an attack on me.

***

“You should have told me that from the beginning.”

<Pack Slime> is good for vitality.

If you had said that from the beginning, I wouldn’t have dug into the ‘hairlessness’, would I?

-There was a situation in the past where someone abused their position to force the manufacturing of medicine with specific effects. Since then, there has been a regulation to avoid using that word as much as possible.

“Is that so.”

K-Alchemy really brings up horror stories the more you dig.

“Anyway, the rumor that it’s good for *that*….”

How on earth did such a rumor start?

“Surely you’re not chewing and eating <Pack Slime>, are you?”

I’m worried because there are so many middle-aged men who will eat anything if you say it’s good for vitality.

From now on, I don’t have to run away from middle-aged men’s teeth, do I, even though it’s not a zombie apocalypse?

-That’s not the case.

“That’s a relief.”

It seems no one ate it.

-The rumor is that its function was enhanced when applied *there*.

Why would you apply that *there*?

Why on earth did someone think of putting <Pack Slime> in their underwear?

No, let’s say they did. Why on earth would they have the idea to share that with people?

The world is wide, and there are truly many strange people.

“Sounds like a baseless rumor.”

-There are too many personal accounts to dismiss it like that.

Aren’t they ashamed?

It seems like a placebo effect, but maybe I should think about it a bit more seriously.

“<Pack Slime> has a body temperature regulation effect, so if you put it in your underwear, it will stay cool. It also has the effect of maintaining moisture at an appropriate level, so it won’t get sweaty, which is good. In that sense, it might be helpful, but I don’t think it would specifically help with generation…. However, considering the thickness of the skin there, I can’t definitively say it has no effect at all.”

Because the skin is so thin, the medicinal effect that penetrates might reach the balls.

-Are there any side effects?

“I wouldn’t know about that. It was made to be applied to the face, not down there.”

-We’ll conduct animal testing after issuing a notice to exercise caution.

“Sure. I think it’ll probably be fine, though.”

Since our Gongdori, whose [Analyze] skill has improved significantly, says it’s okay.

At the very least, I can confidently say there’s no side effect of a newborn child turning into a Slime.

“By the way, if it really does have an effect, we’ll need to drastically increase the production of <Pack Slime>.”

-Even tripling it won’t be enough.

“That’s quite a problem.”

-This isn’t someone else’s issue.

“It is someone else’s issue, isn’t it?”

I’ve already stepped away from the <Insole Slime> and <Pack Slime> lines.

-Can’t you help us out?

“I’m busy making mosquito repellent.”

The <Mosquito> series is doing pretty well too.

Especially the <Mosquito Hell Slime>, which has great reviews.

It’s easy to understand since the mosquitoes are preserved inside.

-Couldn’t you at least license the production of mosquito repellent?

This guy, Park Taeyang.

He keeps eyeing my manufacturing method. Is he a spy?

“Are you asking for the manufacturing method from someone who sells over ten thousand products a day?”

-I’m sorry. Since <Pack Slime> is selling so well, I got greedy. The demand for mosquito repellent will likely increase too.

“I have no intention of revealing my manufacturing method, no matter what. That’s how it’s been, and that’s how it’ll stay.”

Put the Slime in a pot. Feed it. Cut off some flesh. Ta-da, it’s done!

How could I reveal a manufacturing method like this?

I’m not an Alchemist.

I have [Trait: Slime].

-If you acquire a new skill, could you create a new Slime-nim at that time?

“It’s not just any skill that works. And if the skill I want appeared so easily, who would struggle?”

[Transform] [Camouflage] [Mimicry].

Even though I desperately wished for just one of those three, what I got was [Harden].

Things in this world don’t go as you wish.

-I know that, but….

“Are they pressuring you from above?”

-….

“Must be tough being stuck in the middle.”

-If you understand, please help me out a little.

Counselor Park Taeyang is a public official. Whether I sell goods worth 200 million won or 400 million won a day, it won’t make much difference to his performance bonus. He might get promoted faster, but how much faster could it really be?

In return, he has to try his hardest to accomplish something that’s clearly impossible.

The stress of that is evident from his hair, which seems to resemble the sun.

It’ll probably look even thinner than the last time I saw him.

“It does feel like a new skill might come soon, but don’t get your hopes up too much.”

-Thank you so much.

I hung up the phone.

“Status window.”

[Trait: Slime Lv. 14

Skills:

Decompose Lv. 15.

Absorb Lv. 15.

Analyze Lv. 15.

Divide Lv. 15.

Control Lv. 15.

Transform Lv. 15.

Store Lv. 14.]

When I reached level 10, just like at level 5, my skill levels increased. The total skill level increase back then was 10.

Thanks to that, my leveling speed has increased, and now trait level 15 is just around the corner.

The [Store] skill levels up by eating and stockpiling various things instead of using [Divide].

[The level of Store skill has increased to 15.]

[The level of Trait: Slime has increased to 15.]

[A new skill has been created.]

Alright! Did [Mimicry] finally appear?

[Trait: Slime Lv. 15

Skills:

Decompose Lv. 15.

Absorb Lv. 15.

Analyze Lv. 15.

Divide Lv. 15.

Control Lv. 15.

Transform Lv. 15.

Store Lv. 15.

Convert Lv. 1.]

“Damn it.”

No, it’s too early to curse.

Convert means changing something, right?

Couldn’t it mean converting a Slime’s body into a human body?

[Convert Lv. 1.

-Changes one form of energy into another.]

See? Even the [Analyze] skill says so.

There’s E=mc^2, right? If E changes, m should change too. So if energy changes, the material forming the mass should change as well!

“Iyaaaah!”

“Aaaaaah!”

“Aaaa…”

“Damn it.”

I know. I know that saying changing energy changes the material forming mass is nonsense.

Still, since mana, a force unexplained by science, is involved.

I just held onto a faint possibility.

Well, at least it’s not [Harden].

There’s still hope.

If I reset my level and raise it back to this point, a different skill might appear.

If at level 20, the [Special Divide] skill appears again and [Transform] doesn’t show up.

Resetting the level and raising it back to 20 gives me hope that [Transform] might appear.

Since a new skill has appeared, let’s play around with it while leveling up.

“Slime. Destruction Beam!”

“LimeLime. Sla~ime!”

The light emitted from my mouth hit the Slime on the wall and scattered.

“Slime. 100,000 Volts!”

“LimeLime. Sla~ime!”

Electricity crackled from my body.

[The level of Convert skill has increased to 2.]

“Slime. Energy Drain!”

“LimeLime. Sla~ime!”

Holding the plastic bottle and waiting for a moment, the water began to freeze.

[The level of Convert skill has increased to 3.]

“Slime. Boil Water!”

“LimeLime. Sla~ime!”

The ice melted, and the inside of the plastic bottle bubbled before exploding with a bang.

Things like emitting light or generating power can somehow be done with the [Transform] skill too.

That’s thanks to some of the monsters I’ve eaten having such abilities.

The [Analyze] skill allowed me to partially mimic the abilities of those monsters.

However, the efficiency wasn’t that high.

Now that I have the [Convert] skill, I should be able to create items with much higher efficiency.

I could even make an air conditioner with powerful heating and cooling functions.

I can’t even handle the current volume, so I have no intention of touching white goods yet.

I closed my eyes and bathed in the light pouring from the lamp.

I can feel my mana slowly filling up.

Me. Can I do photosynthesis too?

What else can I do?

“That’s right.”

I took out some cooking oil, poured it into my mouth, and heated it up while holding it in my stomach without absorbing it. As the oil boiled with a bubbling sound, I sliced potatoes, threw them in, and shook it up~ shook it up~

Ta-da! Vacuum-fried potato chips complete.

Nom nom.

This house fries things well.

I heard there’s a service nearby where a butcher shop delivers meat within an hour if you order.

Found it.

There’s also a service where a supermarket buys items on your behalf and delivers them.

Found it.

Today’s Mukbang is 20 old-fashioned fried chickens I fried myself.

Oh right. I need to send a text.

If I apply the effect of the [Convert] skill to the products I make, their overall lifespan will increase.

If the lifespan of products increases, people will use items longer, and if they use items longer, demand will decrease, giving a bit of leeway in stock management.

But what should I do about this?

Gongdori and I can’t share skills.

Does this feel too much like someone else’s problem?

But it really is someone else’s problem.

If I’ve provided Gongdori, who produces tens of thousands of products a day, then I’ve done all I needed to do.

-Bang! Please look forward to the next opportunity for a new Slime~.

***

[Mukbang of 20 old-fashioned fried chickens I fried myself.]

The former convenience store clerk, current beauty W-tuber BeautyLime, swallowed hard.

“PengRhyme…. This isn’t fair.”

No way.

She’s a beauty W-tuber. She can’t eat fried chicken full of flour and oil at this hour.

But.

When PengRhyme grabbed a leg and tore off the thigh, I could see steaming hot white meat.

“PengRhymeaaa…. This really isn’t fair.”

The leg and thigh were separated.

The leg, the part she really loves.

That leg disappeared beyond the beak.

Crunch.

At the sound of the crispy batter breaking, she tightly shut her eyes and opened them again.

She can’t miss PengRhyme’s cute appearance.

Crunch. Crunch. Crack. Crunch. Crack.

Even the sound of chewing bones sounds delicious.

Gulp.

“Gulp.”

Next, the thigh disappears into the beak.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

The crispy sound tortures her ears.

Even worse is the taste that comes to mind and the emptiness in her mouth.

It’s her idle molars and the hollow feeling in her stomach.

BeautyLime wrapped her arms around her stomach.

While she groaned, each part disappeared beyond the beak.

Sizzle.

Glug glug glug.

She endured even the 500cc of cola.

The long time of endurance is over.

“I’m sorry to our cute PengRhyme, but I won’t watch this video again….”

A second chicken was placed on the table.

There are still 19 left.

She cried with her eyes and her salivary glands while picking up her smartphone.

It was a night where neither her wallet nor her weight said goodbye.

***

[Isn’t Yeonseul really legendary?]

How does he produce such numbers every day?

—

-Baby, there’s something called licensed production in this world.

└Damn, soon there’ll be a flood of Chinese knockoffs.

└Why?

└Once licensed production starts, assume China steals all the product recipes. That’s the reality of K-Alchemy.

└If anyone tries to buy cheap stuff from places other than the Alchemy Shop, stop them no matter what. Using Chinese knockoffs can really screw you over.

[(Caution: Disturbing) Reasons why using Chinese knockoffs can screw you over.]

(Photo)

This is a photo of someone messed up after taking a knockoff alchemy potion copied from America.

Don’t use alchemy products just because they’re cheap.

—

-Is this for real?

└Yeah. The photo is mosaicked, but it made the news in Korea too. https://-

-Wow, their head really got messed up.

[Hey. Something smells weird about this.]

(Photo)

It seems spoiled, can I get an exchange?

—

-Where did you get such a knockoff and now you’re asking for an exchange?

└Someone below warned about Chinese knockoffs, and they’re already circulating.