Chapter 22: Jjin~ppum!

[SSS-Rank Hunter : Hey.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Did you make this?

SSS-Rank Hunter : (Photo)]

<Mosquito Repellent Slime>, this guy. To go on an overseas trip without my permission.

Even I, the main body, haven’t been able to go!

I should really tighten the discipline of the <Mosquito> series again sometime.

Anyway, how should I respond to this?

Our Gisu, whose brain fluid is filled with the thought of killing monsters.

Our Gisu, who would stab a friend who became a monster instead of greeting them.

Our Gisu, who acts first and thinks later.

‘It’s clear a monster made this item! I must kill it!’

He’s not asking with that kind of thought, right?

Right?

‘I became a Slime and made it by tearing off a part of my body.’

If I reveal the truth like this, a blade carrying divine punishment will cross the sea and fly over.

What that guy Gisu is asking is ultimately this.

Are SLimelove and Alchemy Slime the same human?

If you go one step further.

‘Did you awaken as an Alchemist?’

This is the question.

Since he’s the type to keep a secret if I ask him to, it might be okay to reveal it.

The problem isn’t the secret spreading.

For the same reason I didn’t tell my family I awakened as an Alchemist.

The reaction this guy will show is the problem.

Let’s think about the options.

Option 1.

[[Me : No.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Is that so?]

Soon, it will be revealed that SLimelove and Alchemy Slime are the same person.

Seo Gisu, completely sulking and bringing alcohol.

“Hey, I’m pissed off, so stop messing around and take that off.”

SLimelove takes off the Slime mask.

“Monster! Die!”

You died

Tip : Choose your options carefully.]

Option 2.

[[Me : It’s me.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Hey. Didn’t you awaken even when we met before?

SSS-Rank Hunter : Are you hiding that?]

Seo Gisu, completely sulking and bringing alcohol.

“Hey, I’m pissed off, so stop messing around and take that off.”

Alchemy Slime takes off the Slime mask.

“Monster! Die!”

You died

Tip : Choose your options carefully.]

What are the options?!

A third option!

[Me : I awakened as an Alchemist and earn over 100 million won a day.

Me : In dollars, that’s 0.1m.

Me : Jealous?

Me : I told you.

Me : That I’d earn more money than you.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Hey. Didn’t you awaken even when we met before?

SSS-Rank Hunter : Are you hiding that?]

What kind of reaction is this?!

Why is it the same as my prediction?!

[Me : I was going to surpass your savings first and then laugh at you.

Me : You showed off your bank account before, remember?

Me : I told you then, didn’t I?

Me : That I wouldn’t forget this.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Even so, are you hiding your awakening?

Me : If it were a combat class, maybe. But I’m an Alchemist who slacks off at home, so whatever.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Don’t go to dungeons to get materials.

Me : Am I crazy?

Me : I don’t even plan on leaving home.

SSS-Rank Hunter : You should leave home a little.

Me : The voice of a gym addict crazy about exercise is not heard by a homebody.

SSS-Rank-]

Fortunately, Gisu didn’t press further about the reason for hiding the fact that I awakened.

He won’t come barging in with alcohol just because he’s sulking.

If he lived nearby, he’s the type who would suddenly show up.

But now the distance is far and he’s busy, so it won’t be easy.

As we chatted, the topic went in circles and the WTube story came up.

[SSS-Rank Hunter : Can’t you take off the mask?

Me : There’s no person inside.

Me : And would that work?

SSS-Rank Hunter : Is that so.

SSS-Rank Hunter : I guess so.

SSS-Rank Hunter : The WTube comments section is a mess.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Aren’t you having a hard time?

SSS-Rank Hunter : Or feeling like you’ve fallen into a swamp of despair.]

“….”

[Me : Fallen into a swamp of despair?

Me : Did you start writing poems?

Me : Didn’t our SSS-Rank Hunter-nim’s chuunibyou already pass?

Me : lolololol

SSS-Rank Hunter : Stop messing around.

SSS-Rank Hunter : I’m serious right now.

Me : So what?

Me : Hard times? Yes.

Me : It’s hard because too much money has accumulated in my bank account and I’m agonizing over how to spend it.

Me : lololol

SSS-Rank Hunter : Hey.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Don’t you have any thoughts about joining our guild?

Me : Why bother?

SSS-Rank Hunter : If something happens, they provide counseling and management, which is quite good.

Me : Getting involved with people is more annoying…

SSS-Rank Hunter : Is that so.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Anyway, if anything despairing happens, contact me.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Definitely.

Me : Yeah.

SSS-Rank Hunter : Get in there.

Me : Bye bye]

I put down my smartphone.

Dragging my feet, I slowly went to the restroom.

I haven’t showered lately, so it’s been quite a while since I came here.

Slowly, I took off the Slime mask.

Despair?

I feel that every time I look in the mirror.

“It’s really nice to have a body that doesn’t need to go to the restroom, isn’t it?”

<Tear Slime>

Nom.

***

Distinguishing Knockoffs from the Real Thing

I thought hard about finding a method that anyone could use, was simple, and wouldn’t be easily forged.

And so, this is what came to mind.

Ta-da.

If you press it,

“Jjin~Ppum!”

A trademark with a wiggling, cute crying slime character was created.

<Jjin~Ppum! Slime>

– A parasitic slime that wiggles and cries cutely when pressed. It dies if forcibly removed.

There’s no need to shine a light on it, check for bumps, or check the shape.

Just press it and listen to the sound.

Try forging this.

Like a slime, it’s translucent and thumb-sized, so it would be very tricky to put machines like sensors or speakers inside. The production cost wouldn’t match either.

It’s useless even if you try to detach it and attach it to another product. Because it dies if detached.

There is the drawback that it can only be attached to slimes, but since it will only be attached to slimes, it’s not a big problem.

Is the only problem that only transparent and soft packaging can be used?

Since slimes have no risk of damage, that kind of packaging is sufficient.

There was something I said when I first sent our Gongdori to Counselor Park Taeyang.

That the product’s color could be changed and its size adjusted.

Right now, the basic color free-size products sell out as fast as they’re churned out, so that function is meaningless.

But I laid the groundwork that specifications could be changed.

<Jjin~Ppum! Slime>’s structure is subtly complex, so attaching it to products requires sacrificing a bit of the total production volume. But preventing the spread of knockoffs is more important, so it should be fine, right?

Ring ring.

I was about to call, and coincidentally, a call came in.

After exchanging brief greetings, Counselor Park Taeyang quickly got to the point.

– The fakes are a significant problem.

“I saw the news too. That some are made using strong chemicals, endangering consumers’ health.”

– Yes. The number of angry calls from people saying they, their family, or acquaintances have been hospitalized has increased significantly.

“That’s terrible.”

– Action is needed.

“Isn’t catching swindlers something the police should handle? And customer service is the Alchemy Center’s job.”

I pushed back a little. If I’m too accommodating, they’ll bother me too much.

– If people were suffering damage from buying cheaply, I wouldn’t have mentioned it. If an item is cheap, there’s a reason. I warned them multiple times, so if they bought fakes to save money, the consumers share considerable responsibility.

– But often, they aren’t buying cheaply, but rather more expensively. Because they sell them expensively, people believe they are more genuine, and the damage is increasing.

– It’s like ticket scalping. That’s because there’s no other way to get them.

“Ultimately, the cause of the knockoffs is insufficient production volume. So, since production volume is insufficient, you’re asking me to make them myself, is that it?”

– I’m shameless, but yes. That’s right.

Production volume. Production volume. Production volume.

Increasing production volume by making them myself is not a fundamental solution.

I also have to manufacture the <Mosquito> series, so even if I lend a hand with <Insole Slime> and <Pack Slime>, the amount won’t increase significantly.

I’ll just become unable to step away.

A life ground down together with Gongdori.

I hate it.

I also have to film WTube and raise my level.

Even though I gained the excuse of being next door, if excessive amounts of items are exchanged, my track will eventually be found.

So NO!

“I’m busy making the <Mosquito> series right now, so I don’t have the capacity. Instead, I came up with a very easy way to distinguish genuine products?”

– Is that so?

“Yes. I invented a trademark called <Jjin~Ppum! Slime> that wiggles cutely and makes a sound when pressed. If I attach this to my alchemy products, anyone can easily distinguish genuine products. Of course, you’ll have to promote it well to consumers, though.”

– I have a question.

“Ask away.”

– Is it an easy trademark to make?

“No. It’s small, but quite tricky.”

– Can you produce enough to attach to all products?

“No? Of course, our slimes have to make them. I told you before that specifications could be changed, right? Since they can be churned out with it attached from the start, you don’t have to worry about changes in the product process. Instead, you’ll have to sacrifice about 10% of the total production volume, though not half. Still, preventing the spread of knockoffs is more important.”

– Is there no way to not reduce the total production volume?

“Where would something like that exist? If the process for producing a product increases, it’s natural for the production volume to decrease. I don’t know any method to create something from nothing like that.”

– If the total production volume decreases, it might not be accepted.

– Please at least think about a way to attach the trademark without reducing the total production volume.

– Alchemy Slime-nim. Please, I’m begging you.

“…….”

Wouldn’t it be legal to swear right now?

I’m getting quite angry.

“Was the talk about knockoffs just an excuse to increase production volume? Is selling items more important than people suffering damage?”

– That’s not it.

“Not accepted? Do I need permission from the Alchemy Center when I make things? Just because my slimes are there, do you think they belong to the Center?”

– Please just listen to me….

“That’s enough. I’ll send samples. If you feed them to ‘my’ slimes, they will produce items with the trademark from now on, so do as you please with feeding them or not. I’m hanging up.”

I ignored all calls that came in after this.

Nevertheless, <Jjin~Ppum! Slime> was applied to all products.

The method for distinguishing genuine products even made it to the news.

The Alchemy Center also did what it had to for now.

***

After trademarks were attached to the products made by Alchemy Slime.

A new trend began to circulate in the world of Shorts.

Namely, “Jjin~Ppum!” verification.

—

A man and woman on a blind date talked.

Alcohol was exchanged, and the atmosphere improved.

Suddenly, the man’s expression darkened, and he asked.

“You’re really my type. So I want to be sure. It’s not just makeup, is it?”

The woman smiled confidently and took out a <Pack Slime>, attaching it to her face.

And when she pressed the cheek with the trademark.

“Jjin~Ppum!”

The man smiled brightly.

—

A man walks confidently.

His eyes met a woman’s.

They stopped a short distance apart.

The camera panned, highlighting their visual connection.

As the camera pulled back, the man put his hand between his legs.

He squeezed his thighs tightly.

“Jjin~Ppum!”

The woman smiled satisfactorily and linked arms with the man.

—

A man and woman sitting side-by-side on a bed.

A suggestive atmosphere flows.

The man looked to the side and swallowed hard.

“Not fake, right?”

The woman confidently puffed out her chest and placed her hand on it.

“Ppum!”

“Hey, it’s fake!”

The man kicked open the door and left.

—

There aren’t just one or two videos like this.

Attaching <Pack Slime C> to a luxury bag and saying “Jjin~Ppum!”.

Attaching it to the top of the head and saying “Ppum!”.

Attaching it to a watch and saying “Jjin~Ppum!”.

There’s even a video where, after attaching it to a face and saying “Ppum!”, a reptilian human sheds its human skin.

My review?

“Humans like these K-gamers.”

Is their creativity sane?

It’s a good thing, though.

The method for distinguishing genuine products will spread very widely and surely.

The number of people suffering from knockoffs will decrease.

Ding dong.

Is that a delivery?

Ding dong.

I wrote in the request to just leave it by the door, but they’re pressing it multiple times.

Ignore it. Ignore it.

Ring ring.

[Counselor Park Taeyang]

Right. I did my part, so let’s answer.

“…This is Alchemy Slime.”

-This is Counselor Park Taeyang. Are you perhaps not home?

For a moment, I almost dropped my smartphone.

No, surely…