Chapter 45: The Best Slime

[<Slime> Offline Meetup]

A gathering of people who love Slime.

The people who gathered here didn’t have a clear organization.

Many of those who participated in the open-run gathered as is.

Since they joined the open-run, they gradually got to know each other’s faces.

As they became familiar with each other’s faces, conversations started, which led to exchanging contact information, and eventually, plans were made.

Even if you didn’t participate in the open-run, there were many people who loved Slime, and they gathered as well.

So what did they do after gathering?

They set out to determine the best Slime.

Which Slime is the best?

Though this topic doesn’t have a long history yet, it has the potential to rival debates like ‘Is mint chocolate really food?’, ‘Pour sauce or dip?’, or ‘Milk in tea or tea in milk.’

Groups formed according to each person’s taste, and representatives stepped forward, opening the floor to discussion.

This discussion would be broadcast live, and the best Slime would be decided by a vote.

“There’s no need to say much about the effectiveness of <Insole Slime>. It truly keeps your feet healthy and pretty, just like a baby’s. Feet are another heart, after all. They play a crucial role in blood circulation. Also, there are many accounts of joint pain being significantly reduced when using <Insole Slime>.

And athlete’s foot. Anyone who’s ever experienced that unbearable itchiness that makes you want to cut your foot off will have to agree. <Insole Slime> is truly the best.”

“I agree. Thanks to <Insole Slime>, I was able to break free from all sorts of pain caused by high heels. Still, I think <Pack Slime> is the best. When I come home drunk, the hassle of removing makeup is just indescribable. If I stick on <Pack Slime> before bed, my makeup comes off cleanly, and my morning makeup looks absolutely flawless. Also, there are many accounts that <Pack Slime> treats dry eyes and even helps restore eyesight.

And atopy. The relief and joy when children are freed from atopy can’t be put into words. <Pack Slime> is the best.”

“<Insole Slime> and <Pack Slime> are, of course, great. But I think you’re all overlooking something. Mosquitoes. The sleepless nights because of mosquitoes buzzing around your ears. That annoyance is enough to make you grind your teeth just thinking about it. And that’s not all. Mosquitoes are the creatures that have killed the most humans in history. The <Mosquito> series protects us from that danger. And though it’s hard to notice, there are many reports that <Mosquito Hell Slime> melts not only cockroaches but all sorts of pests.

I insist that the <Mosquito> series is the best.”

“I agree with all your opinions. But please hear me out. I always struggled with weak gums. Whether I ate cold or hot food, my teeth hurt, so I always ate only lukewarm food. I was afraid of the pain that came whenever I ate, so I always kept food in my mouth and ate very carefully. Hard or tough foods were out of the question. I had to fight the fear that a wobbly tooth might fall out. But look at me now. My gums have fully regenerated. Now I can happily chew on frozen grapes.

I think <Gargle Slime>, which brought back the joy of eating for me, is the best.”

“I won’t say much. Diabetes, high blood pressure, hyperlipidemia, stroke.

<Random Slime (Mild Flavor)> is the best miracle cure.”

“I won’t say much either. Kidney stones.

<Random Slime Extremely Spicy Flavor> is the best.”

-Why is the discussion so peaceful?

Someone raised a question in the chat.

In response, the host smiled and said,

“Because we love Slime.”

Discussions usually end up with people tearing down each other’s arguments and even attacking each other directly.

But that didn’t happen here.

Only the positive aspects of each Slime are discussed.

Sometimes, secret tips that no one knew about pop out.

Because they love Slime, they don’t put each other down.

“It’s <Pillow Slime>’s turn.”

“We won’t say it with words.”

The people claiming <Pillow Slime> is the best took out their Pillow Slimes. Then, they started building an igloo.

-Insane.

It didn’t take long for the igloo to be finished. When you went inside, a cool and fragrant space awaited.

They didn’t stop there.

They folded, rolled, and connected the Pillow Slimes to make chairs and beds.

And they didn’t stop there-they even made a refrigerator!

“There is a drawback. The bed is fine, but the chair isn’t so great. If you sit, it’s too comfortable and you end up falling asleep.”

Whatever else, the impact alone overwhelmed every other Slime.

“Does BeautyLime have any opinions?”

All eyes turned to BeautyLime, the owner of the currently live-streaming channel and the most famous person here.

“The Slime mask that SLimelove is wearing.”

BeautyLime said firmly.

“I can’t accept anything else.”

How could she sneak that into the competition so shamelessly!

They decided to skip BeautyLime’s turn.

The discussion continued, and the hidden abilities of little-known Slimes were revealed.

The vote was a close match, but in the end, <Pack Slime> won.

***

Crunch, crunch.

I munched on a family-size snack while watching the video.

GelX Big Eyes and MaXcraft.

They’re really popular games.

I like them too.

[<Slime> Offline Meetup]

But what kind of mentality is it to do that with <Pillow Slime> in real life?

Out of everything, that was the most shocking.

Why build a house? Just use it as a pillow.

I doubt it’ll become a trend because it’s not very practical.

Still, there was a lot of information I didn’t know.

I didn’t realize <Pack Slime> could treat dry eyes and help restore eyesight.

I didn’t know <Mosquito Hell Slime> could take out cockroaches too.

I didn’t know you could clean with <Pillow Slime>.

Stories that never made it to my ears because they didn’t become big news.

Why does <Pillow Slime> look like that? Don’t use it for cleaning. You’re supposed to sleep on it. Isn’t that gross?

Ding.

Counselor Park Taeyang sent me an email.

[A thank-you video from fire stations across the country.]

I watched the video while crunching up Buldak ramen and pouring the sauce onto the raw noodles.

Each fire station’s video had its own unique style.

The worst was the one where the fire chief rambled on and on about something.

The best is this one.

—

“Salute to Alchemy Slime-nim!”

The lined-up firefighters all saluted at once and pressed the button on their belts.

<Jjin-Poom>!

—

“Puhahaha!”

Short but powerful.

I was hoping to see them get embarrassed about transforming.

But it seems the performance far surpassed any embarrassment.

Some fire stations even sent bodycam footage of actual firefighting and reviews after using it.

They were full of words of gratitude.

I’m glad to hear everyone’s using it well.

I called Counselor Park Taeyang.

“I watched the video. Thank you for sending the items.”

-If it’s something like this, you can always count on me.

This time, he didn’t say the Alchemy Center isn’t an errand service.

“Let me know if there are any maintenance requests.”

-Understood.

Because of the trait of <Belt Slime>-if you don’t supply enough heat, it turns to trash-the amount of <Belt Slime> being discarded will increase as winter approaches.

I plan to think things through step by step to find a solution.

“Is there anything else I should know?”

-The Phoenix Guild contacted us saying they want to buy fire suits.

“I’m not selling.”

If I start selling them on the market, not just the Phoenix Guild but other guilds will want them too.

Because of fairness issues, they’ll eventually end up on the market anyway.

If something that should be at the fire station gets siphoned off, it’s hard to track.

Are you asking if giving out <Fire Hero Belt Slime> to the fire station was just for advertising?

It’s not an ad for <Fire Hero Belt Slime>, it’s a showcase of my skills.

-We’ve also received private commissions.

“I’m not accepting them. Didn’t I say I don’t take private commissions?”

Since I kept releasing hit products, private commissions kept coming in.

I already said I’d reject them all, so why bring it up again?

Did some big shot that even the Seoul Central Alchemy Center can’t refuse put on the pressure?

-The compensation is unusual.

Just how much did they offer for Counselor Park Taeyang, who knows my income, to say something like that?

-They’re offering an artifact as compensation.

“An artifact?”

-It’s a Class A artifact.

“Class A? Are they asking me to make a fighter jet or something?”

A Class A artifact is a grade that a Grade A Alchemist might be able to replicate. Not that a Grade A Alchemist can, just that it’s barely possible if you are one.

In mathematical terms, it’s like a Millennium Problem.

If you manage to replicate it by any means, you instantly get a Grade A Alchemist license.

Of course, it’s not something you can buy no matter how much money you have.

They don’t sell them in the first place.

Only if the owner goes bankrupt do you even have a chance of seeing one on the market.

And they’re offering that as compensation?

-The condition is custom-making and continuous repairs as the fire suit’s owner grows.

“Send me the artifact data first.”

I checked the artifact data that Counselor Park Taeyang sent me.

Oh wow. It’s the <Mimic Doll> series.

If you ranked the world’s most famous artifacts, it would definitely be in the top 100.

A doll you can move as if it were your own body by linking your mind. The <Mimic Doll> can even partially replicate the user’s abilities.

It was discovered in a dungeon, and there were said to be a total of 100 units.

They didn’t secure all of them, just about 50 or so.

No one knows exactly how many are left.

The single-digit numbers have auto-repair functions, but the double-digit ones don’t, so their numbers inevitably decrease. Which means the price only goes up.

The one offered to me is No. 82, so its condition probably isn’t great. Compared to the single-digit ones, its performance drops a lot too.

Still, a doll I can use as my stand-in is extremely attractive.

Because inside the Slime mask, there’s a smooth and shiny Slime riding inside.

When I need to act publicly, sending the <Mimic Doll> would be really nice.

I seriously want this.

“What are the terms again?”

-Custom-making the fire suit. Also, doing repairs every time the user grows.

If it’s custom-made, that means I have to meet them in person.

“Will they visit, or do I have to go to them?”

-Alchemy Slime-nim, you’ll have to go to them.

“Can’t the Alchemy Center set aside a separate space inside the workshop?”

I’m hesitant to walk into someone else’s territory on my own.

-Considering the condition of the child who will own the fire suit, that would be difficult.

Counselor Park Taeyang sent me the client’s information.

The one I’m to make the fire suit for is the client’s child.

“An early Awakened? That kid’s going to be something big.”

When you Awaken is totally random. Some people Awaken in their twenties like me, others in their late teens like Gisu.

Rarely, there are people who Awaken in their early teens or even under ten.

“If they manage to grow up safely, that is.”

Kids who Awaken that early often can’t control their powers.

If they Awakened into a gentle job like a Healer, they might struggle with mana depletion but rarely cause major accidents. Since they can raise their skill proficiency early, they usually become hugely successful after growing up.

But if they Awakened into an offensive job like a fire mage-

They spread disaster to themselves and those around them, and end up self-destructing.

“Try proposing again, but say you’ll put a limit on the number of repairs and the time frame.”

If they don’t like it, forget it.

I want the <Mimic Doll>, but I’m not planning to be tied down for the rest of my life.