Chapter 6: Cornucopia.

Alchemist.

If you want to make a lot of money safely, pray to awaken as an Alchemist.

There’s a saying like that because being an Alchemist pays well.

As long as you get past the first hurdle.

I didn’t know it myself, but the early stages of being an Alchemist are really tough.

If you can’t hit 2 million won in sales in the first month and stay at Grade F, the gates of hell open.

A label saying ‘You should give up on being an independent Alchemist’ gets slapped on you.

Then the only option is to work under another Alchemist.

Here’s why.

Let’s say you made and sent 100 items.

First, 30% get discarded after passing the safety test due to high defect rates.

That leaves only 70 products.

Even if all of them sell, a 60% commission is taken.

The money the Alchemist actually gets is the price of selling 28 items.

Fortunately, Alchemists are exempt from VAT, and the Alchemy Center covers all costs except for production, so there are no extra expenses.

But you still have to consider material costs.

If the material cost exceeds 28%, you’re running a loss with zero labor cost.

So should you raise the price?

Then you’re left with inventory that eventually gets discarded.

And that’s not the only problem. For liquids, if even one bottle fails the safety test, the entire batch is discarded. For solids, if defects exceed a certain rate, the whole batch is also tossed.

Like most things in the world, making money isn’t easy.

That’s why the first month, when the commission is 0%, is so important.

If you can’t reach Grade E, offers start coming in.

They’ll give you a recipe, and you either mass-produce it or work under an Alchemist looking for labor.

If a Slime like me got that offer, I wouldn’t be a disciple-I’d be an ingredient in the cauldron.

That’s why!

The first product is extremely important.

They say the beginning is half the battle, so I hope it sells well.

If I can’t even hit 1 million won in the first month, there’s no hope.

But my first product hasn’t even been listed on the Alchemy Shop yet, let alone sold.

It takes a day for the item to reach the Seoul Central Alchemy Center. Then another day for the safety test.

So it takes at least two days to get listed on the Alchemy Shop.

Still, it’s lucky that the safety test only takes a day.

Without the alchemy reagent, it would’ve been impossible.

Long live the alchemy reagent.

I haven’t even seen the reaction to my first product, so it’s too early to plan the next one.

Since there’s nothing urgent to do with alchemy right now, it’s time to focus on WTube again.

The video I uploaded yesterday was about the essential seasoning in East Asian cuisine.

Soy sauce.

15 liters.

I also learned that solids get better reactions than liquids.

But what can I do?

I already bought it, so I have to eat it.

Still, failure is the mother of success.

I learned something from the vinegar.

If you open your throat and chug it, the reaction is bad.

But if you close your throat and pour the soy sauce into your mouth, it makes that glug-glug-glug sound you often hear in mukbangs.

Swallow that and exhale lightly, and you get a pretty decent sound.

“The reaction’s not bad.”

Original video got 2.3k views. Compared to vinegar’s first day, that’s nearly four times more.

Not bad at all.

But there was some unfortunate news too.

The sugar short got 15.33 million views.

The momentum has died down a bit.

Subscribers: 1,102.

Overall, it seems like new viewers are decreasing, and only the regulars are watching repeatedly.

Humans are creatures that eventually get tired of repetition.

If I don’t refresh things soon with a good video, the channel might stagnate and collapse.

So I’ve prepared something.

A food that many people feel proud about being able to eat well.

But globally, it’s not that strong.

Yet, few countries eat something this intense without processing it.

A food ingredient that feels like it could kill you if you eat too much, LD50 or not.

Cheongyang chili peppers.

Thud.

10 kilograms.

I’ve eaten sweet, sour, bitter, and salty, so now it’s time for spicy.

Honestly, I also wanted to eat something intense like habaneros, Bhut Jolokia, or Carolina Reaper peppers like other W-tubers. You need to eat that kind of stuff to be considered a spicy-eating W-tuber.

But I gave up.

Too expensive.

Overseas shipping takes too long.

So I bought 10 kilograms of cheap and tasty Cheongyang peppers.

Well then, shall I give it a try?

“….”

How much was this again? I did buy it at the lowest price though.

Am I the bad one for eating it without washing it?

What about pesticide residue?

[Decompose skill has leveled up to 8.]

[Absorb skill has leveled up to 8.]

Yeah… let’s think positively.

I just ate pesticides I couldn’t afford to buy myself, right?

This vendor’s business is booming.

Even throws in pesticides for free.

***

The convenience store clerk skimmed through WTube thumbnails and titles.

She needed to sleep, but she was too pissed off to fall asleep.

Healing.

She needed some healing.

Her hobby was watching animal videos.

Unlike humans, animals don’t say pointless things.

Even if they eat messily, it’s cute.

Compared to humans who smack their lips, animal eating sounds are so much nicer.

Even when animals poop, it’s understandable.

When animals poop, it’s the owner who cleans it up.

Poop…! Why would someone poop in a convenience store?!

For many reasons, animals are better than humans!

Mukbang.

Animal mukbang.

Videos of cute animals eating cutely!

A video of a penguin eating fish! Preferably in ASMR!

Not a video of a seal eating a penguin!

Her finger paused.

The star of the thumbnail wasn’t an animal.

But it wasn’t a human either.

No, there was probably a human inside.

Even if she disliked humans, people in animal mascot suits weren’t so bad.

Who cares what’s inside?

What matters is what you see.

A world full of people in human skins who are worse than animals.

At least you could give some credit for abandoning a human form and taking on an animal’s.

As the video began, a slime resembling a penguin showed 10kg of chili peppers on screen.

She gave extra points for the fact that it didn’t say a single word.

It placed the box that had been blocking the screen down below and laid the peppers out on the table.

The slime grabbed a pepper with its index and middle fingers. Then, using only its wrist, it tossed the pepper upward.

The pepper landed cleanly in the gap that looked like a beak.

The slime chewed it while bobbing its head back and forth.

Crunch crunch.

The sound of the pepper pierced her heart.

It felt like hearts might pop out of her mouth.

“It’s just too adorable.”

This time, the slime tossed one with each hand and caught them both cleanly.

Crunch crunch.

The sound was so good too.

This isn’t something you should watch alone.

Everyone should see this.

She immediately copied the link.

***

“Officer Lee Mingyu.

“Yes, Officer Kim Hangyeol.”

“These are the new deodorizing insoles. I tested them myself, so try them out.”

Kim Hangyeol tossed the alchemy product onto Lee Mingyu’s desk.

Lee Mingyu was momentarily speechless at his senior’s insistence.

“Uh…”

“You don’t want to? You don’t?”

“It’s just…”

“I mean, huh? I can’t even breathe because of you, Officer Lee Mingyu! Breathe! I’ve said enough already, don’t you think something should change? How is it getting worse by the day?! Worse!”

“I’m trying my best too, you know.”

“What good is saying you’re trying if there’s no result? You need results!”

Lee Mingyu felt wronged.

He was aware that his foot odor was really bad.

And he had tried many things to fix it.

He washed thoroughly every morning and night, visited dermatologists, used recommended medicines, and sprayed deodorizer regularly in the restroom.

But even with all that, it didn’t go away-what more could he do?

“Still, using a Grade F alchemy product is a bit…”

The items they handled were made by Grade F Alchemists.

Things made by people who had just awakened and didn’t even know left from right.

“Are you saying you don’t trust a product I personally tested? Is that what you’re saying?!”

“No, no! I trust that it’s safe!”

He believed the product was safe.

He just couldn’t trust something made by a total beginner.

“You’re so picky, that’s why the problem doesn’t get solved! It doesn’t!”

Still, he didn’t think a Grade F product would actually solve anything.

Sensing Lee Mingyu’s expression, Kim Hangyeol practically breathed fire.

“Just try not using it! I swear I’ll find a way to get Officer Lee Mingyu transferred to a department where he works alone!”

Whether Kim Hangyeol had the authority to do that was another matter, but his determination to kick Mingyu out if the smell didn’t go away seemed very real.

There were other people in the office, but everyone avoided Lee Mingyu.

The main reason wasn’t Kim Hangyeol’s nasty temper, but Lee Mingyu’s area-of-effect chemical warfare.

Lee Mingyu checked the pair of <Insole Slime> on his desk.

The instruction manual from the creator claimed antibacterial, deodorizing, and skin regeneration effects.

Testing confirmed the antibacterial and deodorizing effects, though the skin regeneration part hadn’t been verified yet.

Since he’d get scolded for taking off his shoes in the restroom, he stepped outside.

Holding the <Insole Slime> in his hand, he sighed.

The slime, shaped like a foot without toes, felt surprisingly nice. The kind of texture you’d absentmindedly fidget with. But it didn’t seem like it would absorb moisture well. Sweat that didn’t get absorbed would just slosh around inside the shoe, making things feel gross and smell worse.

‘I’m also worried about side effects.’

Safety tests only guarantee safety under normal usage.

It’s fine on healthy skin, but using it on damaged skin can often cause problems.

There’s a reason so many products say not to use them on wounds.

Lee Mingyu’s feet were in a pretty pitiful state.

‘It’s not defective… right?’

Grade F alchemy products are tested at a 30% rate. Tested items can’t be sold.

In other words, 30% is discarded the moment it arrives. Some say that’s wasteful, but considering the defect rate of rookie alchemists, it’s a necessary measure.

Even if 30 out of 100 randomly selected items pass inspection, who knows what kind of serious defects might be in the remaining 70?

‘Should I just throw it away?’

If he tried it and said it didn’t work, that would be the end of it.

But knowing Kim Hangyeol, he might very well demand to sniff his shoes. If he got caught lying, he might actually go complain to the team leader.

A department where he works alone… was he planning to send him to some mountain valley?

‘Fine. I’ll use it.’

Lee Mingyu took off his shoes.

A stench rose up that even made him wrinkle his own brow.

He placed the <Insole Slime> inside his shoes.

He shut his eyes tightly and put them on.

He clenched his teeth at the alien sensation wrapping around his feet.

“Oh?”

The discomfort vanished in an instant. In its place came comfort.

As the <Insole Slime> filled in the gaps, the shoes felt like part of his body.

Just for this comfort alone, the slime was worth using.

Of course, if discomfort returned with the sweat, that would be a different story.

But for now, it felt pretty good.

When Lee Mingyu returned to the office, Kim Hangyeol came over, crouched down, and sniffed.

“See? Isn’t it great when there’s no smell? You just had to do it.”

Kim Hangyeol gave Lee Mingyu a pat on the shoulder.

“To celebrate your liberation from the stench of hell, dinner’s on me tonight! Anyone who wants to come, gather up!”

Applause erupted across the office.

Was this really something to cheer about?

Lee Mingyu lowered his head, his face red as a tomato.

He felt truly sorry.

***

Back home, Lee Mingyu took off his shoes.

Since he’d been drinking, the foot odor must’ve gotten even worse.

He had to wash his feet and apply the ointment quickly.

The slime stuck to his socks came off with his shoes as he took them off.

But after just a few steps, it fell limply to the floor.

Would it be an exaggeration to say that its whitened, discolored state looked like it had suffocated to death from the smell?

Once the blessing of the Insole Slime wore off, the alcohol-enhanced stench of his feet stabbed at his nose.

‘How much was this again?’

Lee Mingyu tried to recall.

He remembered the manual saying it was 1,000 won for one, 2,000 won for a pair.

2,000 won a day. 60,000 won a month.

Considering the amount of deodorant he used each month and the cost, it was a price he was more than willing to pay.

“Ugh. Let’s wash up quick.”

Overwhelmed by the stench, he hurried into the bathroom.

But was it just his imagination?

The itch on his feet seemed less intense than usual.