Chapter 65: Hire.

I became like this in mid-June.

It’s already been half a year and a few more days.

When I was half-asleep and looked in the mirror and saw a blue monster, I was really shocked.

I started WTube saying I’d make an excuse to wear a mascot suit at home.

The sound of the sugar mukbang Shorts hooked people, played on infinite repeat, and went viral.

Back then, even reaching 1,000 subscribers, so I could apply for revenue, felt impossibly far away.

Now I’ve surpassed 10 million subscribers.

Ash’s influence is absolutely enormous.

When I uploaded the turkey mukbang, my reputation in America shot up and I was approaching nine million. Then, thanks to just one word from Ash, I shot past ten million in an instant.

I’ve passed 10 million, and with Christmas coming up, maybe I should hold a prize drawing event after a long time.

Singing Slime: a cluster of various slimes, each making a different sound depending on which you press.

Penguin Slime: a plush toy in the shape of a penguin slime.

I should run another prize event giving away these two.

Of course, I won’t just hand them out exactly as before. I’ll change Singing Slime to make different sounds. If you have the previous Singing Slime, you’ll be able to combine and upgrade them. Penguin Slime should be made as a winter version.

Should I do some ego-searching?

I’ve been distracted lately thinking about the amusement park.

“…?”

I made Insole Slime D and Insole Slime+. I put them inside Pillow Slime and hit them hard.

The shock absorption is definitely on another level.

Sorry. I really haven’t been paying enough attention to you, have I?

I didn’t bother to check because they sell well anyway. There’s never a time they’re not sold out.

I never expected they’d be used like this.

Amazingly, it hasn’t become a problem.

Extreme sports.

Sports where people addicted to adrenaline do things that are clearly insane.

When adrenaline addiction reaches its peak, swagger takes over your brain cells and you end up tap dancing in front of the Grim Reaper.

What kind of things do they do?

Charging a ramp on a motorcycle shirtless and spinning in the air with tricks.

Jumping into water from the fifteenth floor of an apartment building.

Free-climbing a cliff with bare hands.

Even among these extreme sports, there are people who enjoy the ones with especially high mortality rates.

Wingsuit.

What are these people doing with my Slime, you ask?

[Penguins Can Fly.]

Using the fact that Raincoat Slime is variable enough for even big people to wear, they put Raincoat Slime on over their wingsuit and jump off a cliff.

And what’s the problem with that?

If you wear Raincoat Slime over your wingsuit, how are you supposed to deploy your parachute?

A normal person would just take off the wingsuit and go home.

Yeah. That’s what a normal person would do.

Someone with a bit of common sense would’ve worn the wingsuit over the Raincoat Slime. Or maybe strapped the parachute over the Raincoat Slime.

Raincoat Slime absorbs shock pretty well, so it’s a bit safer.

It’s better than before, you could say.

But people whose brain fluid is made of adrenaline changed their approach.

Since Raincoat Slime makes it impossible to deploy a parachute, they gave up on parachutes.

Instead, they filled parts of their body with Insole Slime and Pillow Slime.

Then they wrapped Insole Slime in Pillow Slime, tied it to their feet, and jumped.

And then they landed on Pillow Slime.

What kind of brain even comes up with the idea of trusting your landing to a Pillow Slime stuffed with Insole Slime?

Even I, whose brain is made of slime, wouldn’t think of that!

The feeling of crashing into the ground at 100 km/h?

I don’t want to know!

Apparently, the injury rate has actually gone up!

Impressive, right?

What’s so impressive?

With wingsuits, accidents are usually instantly fatal.

But now, apparently, there are a lot more cases where people just get injured instead of dying.

They often can’t overcome inertia and go tumbling, but the Insole Slime, Pillow Slime, and Raincoat Slime attached all over their bodies absorb the shock and increase survival rates.

Humans really are absolutely crazy.

Isn’t there any story that warms the heart, instead of these insane tales?

[Makina: Wassup?]

Ah, here it is. A heartwarming story.

The timing is seriously uncanny.

Real name, age, gender, face, nationality.

Even without knowing a single one of those, my precious friend Makina.

I replied with a happy heart.

[Me: Human madness is so annoying.]

I’m worried that the image of Slime Land might get worse because of extreme sports using Slime.

Instead of a reply, a game arrived as a gift.

I started the game.

[Mikana: How is it?

Me: lol

Me: This kind of madness is welcome.]

To be honest, the game is insanely boring.

If you manage to play for ten minutes without refunding, you deserve praise.

Does it get better if you keep playing?

Not really.

The programming is a mess, and even my computer-which could be called the best gaming PC out there-lags. The bugs never stop. The gameplay feels blatantly copied from somewhere else.

The story is weird, too. It seems like it has something to say, but the narrative makes no sense and it’s hard to understand.

If there’s one thing this game has, despite its terrible gameplay, programming, and story-

The graphics.

The pixel art quality is insane.

Seriously, it’s needlessly insane.

From the characters to the backgrounds, everything is made with pixel art, and it all moves shockingly smoothly.

It’s a pixel game but runs at 60 frames per second.

That means they crammed in sixty slightly different images per second for every character and background.

There’s a trap that solo creators often fall into.

Getting drunk on your own ideas and digging into only that.

It’s something I need to watch out for when making the amusement park, too.

This game put in way too much unnecessary effort.

There’s no need to go this far.

If they’d compromised on the graphics and used that time to get a part-time job and hire a programmer, the game would’ve been way better.

They tried to do everything alone.

And this is the disastrous result.

The story probably got messed up because they hit their limit with the pixel art midway through.

But I like this kind of madness.

It’s good to have something you can go this crazy over.

I hope they don’t give up, pushed by the pressures of reality.

Looks like they’re recruiting supporters.

All right.

How about I send about 10% of the net profit I could earn during the time spent playing the game?

Should I consider myself lucky for discovering this now?

If I were still consumed by gluttony, I definitely wouldn’t have sponsored it.

Come to think of it, what kind of curse is it this time?

It doesn’t seem to have much of an effect.

Maybe I’ll get through it easily this time?

Last time was way too tough, after all.

***

Today’s Mukbang is this.

A tree that stays green all year round, but turns yellow over time because its roots are cut off when used.

A plant decorated with a cross or star at the top, and below with apples, candies, ribbons, LEDs, and more.

An ornament that shines so brightly that children and cats absolutely love it.

Christmas tree.

I plucked off a round decoration and tossed it into my mouth.

Crunch, crunch.

On Christmas, you eat Christmas trees.

Isn’t that common sense?

Just make sure to check if it’s Made in Alchemy Slime before eating.

Be cautious of imitations.

They sell a lot of Christmas trees that aren’t edible.

Always check if it has the <Chin~Poom! Slime> label attached before eating.

The trunk and thick branches are a giant roll cake with long chocolate sticks as the core, coated with chocolate cream and layered with black chocolate to look like bark.

The thinner branches are made of chocolate, with green leaves made of mint chocolate attached to them.

Apples coated in sugar water, candy canes made of sugar, baked cookies, and more are attached to it. The cotton decorations and ribbons are made of cotton candy.

The lamps are glowing marshmallow slime.

Finally, the star at the top is a lemon-flavored jelly.

It goes without saying, but every part includes <Slime>. You could probably make it without <Slime>, but using <Slime> solves durability issues and makes shaping much easier, so I just used <Slime>.

If this counts as amusement park food, then it’s food, right?

When we hold Christmas events at the amusement park, we plan to place these everywhere.

Since it’s the land of dreams and tentacles, <Slime Land>, you don’t have to worry about cavities or belly fat, right?

Merry Christmas!

After filming the Mukbang, I waited for dawn to come.

Today, I am Santa Slime.

I quietly sneaked into my parents’ house.

It feels a bit unfamiliar.

I haven’t been here since I bought this place and modified it with Slime.

Since my name keeps gaining value, I’ve paid some attention to my family’s safety.

I’ve put in a request for bodyguards with the Peace Guild, but just in case something happens.

Right after escaping the curse of gluttony, I started asking around and bought this place just recently.

My old house was in a pretty decent neighborhood, but this place has even better security.

If I’m lucky, I might run into a celebrity while passing by?

Good heavens.

There’s no Christmas tree anywhere in the house!

And this house is so spacious!

I knew this would happen.

I placed the Christmas tree I had [Store+]’d in the center of the living room.

Be grateful, because there’s no other Santa who even brings a Christmas tree.

I quietly infiltrated my younger sibling’s room.

Seriously. Not even hanging up stockings on Christmas Eve. The basics aren’t there. The basics.

Still, since she’s probably a naughty kid who didn’t cry this year, I should give her a gift.

If she doesn’t cry, doesn’t that mean she’s a good kid?

Honestly, isn’t someone who doesn’t know how to cry even naughtier?

Alright. Complete.

When the sun rises, a trap is set to drop a Slime lump with a loud “Poom Poom Poom!” sound.

Originally, between two people whose names are listed under the family registry of parents, this kind of gift is given.

When she grabs her smartphone to curse at me, there should be a payment notification popping up on it.

The gift for my parents is a massage chair.

It’s an item upgraded with the [Accelerate] skill.

Leaving the gifts behind, I’m off!

HOHOHO!

Merry Christmas!

***

I talked with Hans after returning from the Christmas break.

When I told him that Mother’s growth rate is faster than expected, Hans thought for a moment and then said.

“I want to hire people.”

He brought up something out of the blue.

Hire people?

“Is the workload too much right now?”

Since Hans’s health isn’t in perfect condition, I’ve been trying not to burden him with too much work.

Mostly, I’ve been having him handle tasks to extract additional compensation.

“To execute Lime’s plans, we need to start gathering talent now.”

Hans slowly explained what kind of people we would need to realize the things I’ve mentioned.

The content sinks right into my head.

Looking for and hiring the necessary personnel in advance is a rational choice.

There are plenty of talented people in the world, but whether that talent is within reach is another matter. The more capable they are, the more money and time it takes to get them to move.

“Do you have the money for that?”

“We can’t keep running operations on Lime’s money forever.”

That’s true.

I can’t keep injecting funds as if I’m paying a pension forever. If possible, Slime Land should become self-sustaining.

If I’m going to limit the money, I should at least give enough time. Expecting the best results while tightening both budget and time is just greed.

“We need an urban planning expert.”

We plan to put all sorts of miscellaneous things into Slime Land.

If I just build things randomly, the Free-Range Slime Experience Zone might end up right next to the Edible Slime Shop.

To get from the parking lot to the shopping area, you might have to ride a human cannon, and to come back down, you might have to take a roller coaster-a miraculous layout could happen.

Even if that’s an exaggeration, there’s a high chance of complaints flooding in due to issues with stairs, restrooms, or elevators.

“We need amusement ride designers and operation experts.”

The amusement rides I’ve imagined with maximum creativity are great. They’re good, but if they’re too novel, people are bound to hesitate.

The shape of amusement rides can be copied as is.

But there are limits to copying the way they’re operated.

Why are amusement rides shaped the way they are now?

Does that shape maximize satisfaction when riding the amusement ride?

Could satisfaction be increased further, but is the shape designed for the operator’s profit instead? We need to know these things to decide whether to improve the structure of the rides or not.

Without information, we might end up concluding things like, If the ride time is longer, people will like it, so let’s make a 10-minute roller coaster! or Let’s trap them in a Slime ball and shoot them at Mach 1. It’ll be safe, so it’s fine, right?

“We also need personnel to handle copyright negotiations and discover trending works.”

Before we start full-fledged activities, there are parts where we need to sign contracts with other companies.

For example, just dealing with subculture copyright issues requires time to negotiate with game companies or publishers.

If a license is needed urgently and the contract falls through, it becomes a headache. And in business, the more urgent it is, the more likely you are to lose out.

Even I demand artifacts as contract fees, don’t I?

It’s better to sign long-term contracts in advance.

Besides that, we also need chefs, safety personnel, merchandise planning experts, and so on.

There will be a lot of personnel needed in the future.

While it’s fine to headhunt experts whenever necessary, entrusting important roles to recent hires feels unsettling.

Even if it means wasting a bit of money, I agree with the idea of hiring early to assess their humanity.

I do agree, though.

Why does it feel so off?

It’s like the feeling of letting a repairman you’ve never met into your house.

I called them because I needed them, but my body itches with the unavoidable anxiety that comes with it.

That’s not all.

Hans looks suspicious again.

Could it be that Hans is really an alien, and he appears different depending on the position of the moon and stars?

I closed my eyes and thought for a moment.

“Please put out a job posting after the New Year.”

Slime Land is a giant Slime with Mother at its core.

Even if the people we hire do something strange, we can handle it sufficiently.

No problem.

Let’s hire them.

***

Happy New Year!

Gisu is supposed to come over.

Gisu, who hates our monsters.

No matter how close a friend I am, if it’s revealed that I’m a monster, he’s the kind of friend who’d stab me first.

I’ve been getting too lax lately.

I need to prepare for the worst.

I’ll place this here.

And that over there.

Complete!

Huh?

What the heck. These traps.

I should prepare in a way that won’t get noticed.

Why was I setting up traps as if I were trying to hunt down a monster or something?