Chapter 105: This Life

When the light vanished completely.

The space was dyed in darkness, and my body was sinking into an abyss as deep as the void.

I’d have to struggle to escape, but unfortunately, my body wouldn’t cooperate—probably because I’d used up all my strength fighting the Demon God.

Until now, I’d never once thought I’d used up all my power or that it wasn’t enough.

Even if my output fell short, I’d always win in a war of attrition, and later, there were only a handful who could match me in output.

But I guess he really is a god. I couldn’t do that against the Demon God.

If Iris hadn’t shown up out of nowhere, I would have lost.

But Iris appeared suddenly, and with her help, I was able to win.

‘Is it all over now…?’

If I sink like this, I won’t make it back alive.

…Well, whatever.

I’ve already achieved everything I wanted.

In the past, my desires would have been endless, but now I truly have nothing left I want to accomplish.

I defeated the Demon God, and I saved Iris. If Iris gets out of here safely and explains things, all that talk of me being a murderer will be cleared up.

‘Everything worked out fine.’

The Brute Verdiol becomes a hero and fades into history.

That’s a pretty happy ending, isn’t it?

Of course, those guys might be sad if I disappear.

The members of Bisang Guild who followed me all this time.

Picturing them grieving made me feel a little sorry.

On the other hand, it was a strange feeling.

That there were people who would be sad if I left.

I thought it’d only be Mr. Luca and Jihyeok at most.

But now it’s quite a lot, I thought.

With the Demon God’s threat gone, the world will be peaceful now.

I don’t know if the Gate phenomenon will disappear completely, but those guys will be able to handle it.

Even without me.

Just as I was about to close my eyes peacefully with that thought.

“Sen—!”

Was that an auditory hallucination?

“Ver—ssi…!”

A familiar voice reached my ears.

“…di!”

If there was one thing they had in common, it was that they were all voices I wanted to hear.

‘Guess I’m hearing things now that I’m about to die.’

I won’t be able to hear them anymore. The place I’m headed now is where they aren’t.

Judging the voices as hallucinations, I ignored them and closed my eyes.

At that moment.

*Tap.*

Someone grabbed my hand firmly.

“Senior!”

“Huh?”

The moment Jihyeok’s shout rang loudly in my ears, I opened my eyes.

A light visible in the deep darkness. A hand reaching out from that light.

The owner of that hand was Jihyeok.

“Wha, what, how did you get here?”

“Where do you think you’re going alone?!”

In the darkness, Jihyeok was reaching his hand out to me.

And that wasn’t all.

“Ms. Verdi!”

“Hyung-nim!”

“Verdi!”

“Miss Verdi!”

“O Saintess!”

All the members of Bisang Guild were beside Jihyeok, reaching their hands out to me.

“You guys… how on earth did you get here?”

“More importantly, grab it quickly! If you don’t grab it now, everyone will die!”

Jihyeok shouted in response to my question. I stared at him for a moment, then grabbed his hand.

And at that moment.

Light bloomed around Jihyeok and those beside him, beginning to dispel the darkness.

“What is this…?”

Pulled by their hands, I found myself standing before Jihyeok before I knew it.

“Thank goodness, I’m so relieved!”

“I thought you were dead, egg.”

“Ms. Verdi is someone who must not disappear.”

“Wherever the Saintess goes, I will always follow.”

“Senior, I won’t let you go alone this time.”

No way, these guys… did they risk their lives to come here to save me?

“Verdi.”

I was still harboring that question at their sudden appearance.

“Mr. Luca…?”

Mr. Luca, who hadn’t even participated in the Gate raid, grinned and walked up to me.

“You don’t have to struggle anymore. It’s all over.”

“No, I get that it’s over, but how did you get here?”

I was clearly dragged here by the Demon God, and at that spot, there was only the Demon God, me, and Iris.

How did they know where he kidnapped me to and find their way here?

“What are you talking about? You guided us here.”

“Huh?”

What the hell is he talking about now?

“Senior, didn’t you guide us to this place?”

“Me? I never did that. I was here the whole time…”

The moment I answered Jihyeok.

“No way…”

Along with a faint headache, everything that had happened flashed before my eyes like a lantern slide, and I could finally understand how all of this had come about.

“So that’s how it was…”

Iris, who looked so much like me now.

The Demon God, who wore the form of me before my body changed, Verdiol.

That Demon God had said to me.

That if he wanted, the world could turn back at any time.

‘…There’s a limit to everything.’

The moment I realized all of this had started because of me alone, I felt pathetic, but at the same time, I felt like I had finally shed my shell.

“Are you alright?”

“…Yeah.”

When Jihyeok asked with a worried face, I forced a smile and answered.

It’d be better to quietly bury the tantrum I threw all by myself.

Yeah. That’s right.

I felt light.

Like I had put down all the baggage I’d been carrying on this long journey.

“Let’s go back.”

* * *

After the End Cave subjugation ended, three months had already passed.

Those three months had been a whirlwind of hectic days.

Well, that made sense, since we’d conquered End Cave, an S-Rank Gate that had been open for an unprecedentedly long time.

For the record, just because the Demon God disappeared doesn’t mean Gates in this world vanished entirely.

Even now, most of the Bisang Guild members are deployed to close Gates.

As the Guild Master, I’m spending my time leisurely sipping cocoa in my office.

Cocoa — even I think I seem like a kid drinking this.

Is it because my appearance changed?

Well, I do prefer sweet things over bitter stuff like coffee.

‘In the end, I never got back to my original body.’

Though I’m not even sure if that original body was really mine to begin with.

Over the past three months since the fight with the Demon God ended, I’ve thought long and hard about myself — about who I am.

The conclusion I reached was a guess that I might be a fragment that split off from the Demon God.

‘Given that he called me the original source, I guess it’s pretty much the truth.’

As for why the Demon God accepted death quietly in that fight instead of turning back time… I can’t be sure since I didn’t hear it from his own mouth, but I think it’s probably this.

He was regretting his own path.

The me who was Verdiol,

No, to be precise.

To me, who carries the memories of the Demon God who was Verdiol, his path sometimes felt truly pathetic.

Why did he act so selfishly and self-righteously, you idiot.

‘…He must have been satisfied.’

Because he regretted his own path.

Since he had no way to fix his regretful path with his own hands, he created countless fragments, and when I, one of those fragments, finally carved out a path without regret…

At the very end, he chose death instead of turning things back.

It wasn’t that he enjoyed the fight — he made that choice because he was satisfied that I had reached that point.

If he had gone all out from the start, I would have died long before I even met Iris, another fragment of myself.

‘But why did he have to make me a woman’s body?’

It’s hard to get used to.

‘Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Ames since then.’

The woman who seemed to be the head of the organization that Mr. Luca belonged to — the one that made the drug that turned me into a woman.

…Was that woman a fragment too?

Well, anyway… nothing happened after that.

I asked Mr. Luca about it, but all he said was that the organization had collapsed.

If I had to guess, that organization was probably founded to subdue the Demon God.

“Senior.”

“Oh, you’re back?”

Jihyeok had returned. Even after closing an A-Rank Gate, he looked perfectly fine, as if nothing had happened.

“Shall we go?”

“Yeah.”

Jihyeok and I walked outside for quite a while. It was a long distance, but we didn’t use any abilities or vehicles.

We kept walking, leaving the city center behind and heading toward a remote area. A mountain path appeared, and we pushed through the underbrush.

The place we arrived at was in front of three graves.

Funny as it sounds, only one of these graves actually contains a body. And even that one is in a gruesome state.

The first grave is Ludwig’s. The only one with a body.

The second grave is Iris’s.

The third grave is the Demon God’s.

After everything was settled, I made them myself.

Iris’s grave makes sense, but I made the Demon God’s for my own personal reasons.

After all, my existence was born from the Demon God’s hands.

Should I call him a father figure? Something like that.

“In the end, we couldn’t clear your name.”

As Jihyeok said, with Iris’s existence gone, I couldn’t shake the murder accusation against Verdiol.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

But now that my body has changed, it’s completely irrelevant. Besides, talk about Verdiol has quieted down after all this time.

“Are you satisfied with your current life?”

As always, but this time Jihyeok asked with a face even more serious than usual.

I sensed someone’s presence and turned my gaze toward it.

What was there…

“Ms. Verdi!”

“Why didn’t you tell us?!”

It was the members of the Bisang Guild, including Mr. Luca.

I hadn’t called them, but somehow they all knew and came.

“I was against it, though…”

Mr. Luca muttered with a sour expression.

“But you were the one who told us first, Mr. Luca!”

Deneb shouted at Mr. Luca as if pleading, then turned her anxious gaze to me.

“I-I know we followed you secretly, but I was so worried…”

“It’s fine.”

I let out a small laugh and said to Deneb.

“You asked if I’m satisfied with my current life, right?”

I turned my gaze to Jihyeok. At my question, he quietly nodded.

“Well, I can’t go back to my old body, and sometimes I find this body inconvenient, but—”

I glanced at the graves, then looked at the Bisang Guild members.

After that, I spoke slowly.

“Well, sometimes sharing joy with someone isn’t so bad. Yeah. I’m satisfied with this much.”

“Is that so.”

“Yeah.”

I’m not alone anymore.

That arrogant, self-righteous, and dictatorial Verdiol was no more.

In their place existed only me, Verdi, moving forward together with everyone.

I would always advance alongside them.