Chapter 33: To Me, You Were Like the Sun

Ermina opened her eyes upon a green meadow.

An infinite expanse of grassland that seemed to touch the pure white sky.

A cool breeze settled softly.

It swept across the meadow in all directions, as if stroking the mane of a wolf.

There.

She witnessed a being made of light slowly walking toward her, holding a child in its arms.

‘This is….’

Déjà vu.

A scene she had seen before.

In other words, it was a dream.

Once she realized it was a dream, she remembered when this scene had occurred.

‘Kariel?’

A conception dream.

The figure of light, having walked toward her, extended the hand that held the child’s hand toward her.

“…….”

At that time, she felt she had accepted it instinctively.

The child’s face was not visible.

At the time, she only vaguely remembered that it was a child.

But not now.

Because that child was clearly Kariel as a young boy.

The child, dressed in pure white clothes, was looking up at her with a bright, innocent smile.

The wind blew.

A gale so fierce that it was hard to see an inch ahead, so strong that her eyelids drooped of their own accord.

The pure white sky vanished.

Even the meadow, which had been so green.

Everything turned to ash.

Beyond a chill, an ominous feeling—an anxiety that felt as if her spine were freezing.

Waking up just then, Ermina instinctively searched for the child she had been holding.

He wasn’t there.

Neither in her hands nor around her.

“Mother.”

“?!”

From far away.

When had those white clothes become stained with blood?

Red streaks stretching from the nape of the neck down to the chest upon the white fabric.

No, that which was spreading and staining in real-time was the trail of blood flowing down from above.

Suddenly lifting her gaze, she gasped.

From within two empty eye sockets, red fluid was streaming down.

Her heartbeat gradually quickened.

It felt as if her heart had stopped, yet the sensation was quite the opposite.

Blood rushed to her head, and perhaps because she couldn’t grasp the situation, her mind went blank, leaving her feeling dazed and dizzy.

What is this. What is this.

What happened.

Why… why is that child….

“Why… did you….”

Did you abandon me?

Did you cast me away?

“……?!”

Abandon you! That can’t be!

Why would I! Why would I ever abandon you!

How much, how much I…!

“But I….”

The traces of the meadow were soon stained deep red.

The red meadow eventually became even redder, staining even the sky.

The entire world spread into a vivid, bloody red.

Even within that, Ermina was eerily lucid.

As if she had been isolated from this world.

The child, stained and soaked in blood, eventually coughed up a surge of blood from his mouth.

He clasped his hands together in prayer.

“Oh God.”

And then.

As he collapsed onto his knees, blood gushed out across the red earth, as if intending to fill the entire world.

“You were wrong.”

Gasp!

Ermina, having just woken up, gasped for air again, weighed down by a heavy sense of fatigue and lethargy.

Though helplessness pressed down on her entire body, she unconsciously waved her hand and muttered.

“Ka, Kariel?”

“Lady Ermina? Is something wrong?”

A female Priest in white robes asked, holding her hands with both of hers.

“Ka, Kariel… where is he?”

“Do you mean your son? Lord Lueld went to the family home to pick him up, so they will be arriving together soon.”

“Together…?”

She felt she had seen Lueld briefly a moment ago.

It had been noisy, but since she had been out of it, she wasn’t sure.

All she vaguely remembered was a child wrapped in a swaddling cloth….

‘Child.’

Why….

Did you abandon me?

Her chest felt tight, but in her clouded state of mind, she couldn’t possibly understand the reason.

Nevertheless, one thing was certain.

Though no one had told her, nor whispered it in her ear.

Ermina felt a sudden conviction that she would not be able to reunite with Kariel for the time being, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

Her heart felt aching and torn.

Emotions fueled by an inexplicable longing burst forth like a broken dam.

But for her now.

…She could do nothing.

====

“Take this.”

Elhermina took off her own robe.

“In exchange, give me that.”

“…Will this be enough?”

“It is sufficient.”

Looking somewhat awkward and bewildered, Kariel draped her robe around himself.

Then, as if by magic, the color of the robe turned black.

“Was it a magic tool?”

“It will help with concealment. It also includes convenience functions, so it will serve you well for a long time.”

“…….”

Over his black attire, she draped her black robe once more.

“This as well.”

As she stepped forward to hand over a grey horse tied to one side.

“Were you planning to let me go from the start?”

“No.”

She shook her head.

“This is Seras’s insight.”

“Seras?”

“I bet that I would bring you back.”

He didn’t bother to ask who won the bet.

“Take this too.”

“…….”

An Arming Sword.

“Has your sword not become a wreck?”

“That’s true.”

The edge was completely gone, and it had even bent.

A common iron sword versus a masterpiece used by an Imperial Princess.

…The difference in performance was inevitable.

“Are you not used to wielding a one-handed sword?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

I wield the sword; I am not dictated by it.

The sword is merely a tool.

“……I am still uneasy. Whether it is right to let you go like this.”

She let out a sigh.

“It pains me to think that my attempt to frustrate you may have instead provided an unnecessary pretext. What a bitter blunder.”

“…I was lucky.”

Honestly, Kariel still couldn’t wrap his head around what he had done.

Since it had come to this, he had no choice but to interrogate the Demon King.

“I will inform the others appropriately.”

“It’s fine.”

He had left a letter.

If she had told him to write it now, the content would have changed again.

“Just gloss over it however you like.”

“I shall handle it to suit my taste.”

And so.

“Is it truly alright, even if I do not intervene at all?”

“Yes.”

If there is revenge, it is entirely my share.

It is the string and the chain entwined around me.

Unraveling it, or cutting it.

It is now entirely my burden.

“Even though you are explicitly stating you hold a grudge against the Empire, you aren’t scolding me much, are you?”

“I believe you brought it upon yourself.”

Malice in the name of the public.

Injustice in the name of public opinion.

Hostility in the name of the crowd.

All of it.

Because they had been exceptionally cruel and cold to him.

“Because I believe you will maintain a sense of propriety, I also believe you will adjust the level of your actions appropriately.”

“…….”

She certainly knew how to leave him speechless.

“If you return by the time of the Grand Horse Riding Competition, you will be back in 60 days at the shortest, or 80 at the latest.”

“If the schedule doesn’t deviate.”

To retrieve Grandeus’s magic armor.

And in the meantime, to correct his unbalanced body.

…It would be a very tight schedule.

“Do not forget. You will not be this lucky again. Engrave that clearly in your mind.”

“We both know that, don’t we?”

They lived in the same world.

One step from death.

Two steps from life.

In essence, they stood at the crossroads of life and death.

Once you have stepped forward, returning to the past is impossible.

This is a wound and a scar.

Not one carved into the flesh.

But into the heart, the mind.

…A trace engraved upon the soul.

Therefore, they knew well that the destination of the soul could be decided by will.

And therefore, they knew they must always face the storms head-on.

“Just in case.”

Right there.

Kariel, who was about to mount the horse, stopped and turned his head.

“If there is someone more attractive than I am out there, bring them back. I don’t care how many, I will allow it. If it helps you. If it brings you comfort.”

At the end.

“Just return to me. Even if your body is no longer whole, promise me only that.”

“…It’s not like I’m going to war. More than that… do you realize you’re really strange?”

She didn’t seem to lack possessiveness, so why on earth….

“I am telling you not to feel burdened because of me.”

I want to give you freedom.

“I do not wish to bind you to satisfy my own fulfillment. While my heart prefers it, if it cannot be your happiness, I am willing to set it aside.”

Therefore.

“Keep what I said earlier in mind.”

“…What did you say?”

“I mean Seras.”

“…….”

“He claims to have seized an opportunity and will not be blinded by petty gains. He has no reason to neglect a prearranged promise.”

Then, Elhermina glanced at the black horse he was about to ride.

“Go. A commotion has occurred, so a reaction will come soon.”

“…Isn’t it too late for that?”

“Foolish. Who do you think I am?”

That single sentence was answer enough.

Between the trees, amidst the deep shadows of darkness.

Everything except the sound of hooves gradually faded away.

How long had she stood there?

Elhermina approached her own mount, untied it, and asked.

“So, what are your impressions after watching, Seras Esdina?”

-…….

While the horse’s eyes turned blue, a voice that was impossible for a horse’s vocal structure erupted.

-I find it more surprising that you two didn’t affect the surroundings at all in the midst of that.

“……Is that so?”

-You’re one thing, but Kariel… is different, isn’t he?

Seras had some insight into Elhermina’s abilities.

That was why, even when she poured out flames as if to burn everything around her, he didn’t think much of it.

Still as ferocious as ever.

What an absurd woman, he thought.

And if she showed that much, perhaps Kariel would simply give up, or even if he didn’t, he’d be soundly defeated and brought back forcibly, bound by that arrogant princess.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t entertained such expectations.

The moment Seras accepted Elhermina’s proposal—with the feeling of swallowing poison—the two of them had, absurdly, become a community of fate.

…Of course, for that proposal to be extended, Kariel would have to return.

-How does it feel to be dumped by your fiancé?

“A foolish question.”

Elhermina snorted.

“I have never given up, yet you mock me with such arrogance, suggesting I could be dumped. That is quite fascinating.”

-You really are….

Who exactly was the arrogant one, and who was talking?

She was still a woman he disliked.

It had been that way since they were children.

The one who received the branch held high was Elhermina.

At that time, Seras had asked for one too, but there wasn’t anything suitable left.

What did Kariel say back then?

-…He definitely said he would become my knight.

“Regrettably, it seems he does not remember. So, give up.”

-Sigh.

Really.

She was a damn girl… one who was impossible to grow fond of.

“Anyway, because of Eras… you will have to go through a process far more grueling than mine.”

-…….

“Because every time I look at you, I will think of that child.”

The first person in Kariel’s life to execute a merciless betrayal.

“…You must not forget that I have wanted to slaughter that child since long ago.”

Because we all know.

“This fact will become the leash for your family. Count Esdina definitely crossed the line. If Kariel had remained in my hands… I could have easily turned you all into puppets.”

Elhermina loves him.

She adores him and reveres him.

To her, he is the sun.

The only one.

A unique existence.

It had been that way since childhood. That was how she viewed him.

However, that affection and longing were not so absolute as to exclude perfectly packaged political gains.

It couldn’t be helped. That was how she was raised.

If she were the type to throw away all responsibility and devotion everything to him to the point of offloading everything onto him, she would have accompanied him on this journey long ago.

But.

Just as it was impossible to stitch Kariel’s wounds normally, the scars she had carried and acquired were not things that could be easily healed or resolved.

I have sacrificed much.

Therefore, I will be greedy, as is only natural.

I shall obtain everything.

For the sake of what I desire.

For the sake of the dream he desires.

The Empire must become even more steadfast than it is now.

====

“Why is this brat so slow? Did he go take a nap or something?”

“Hmm.”

As Variel grumbled while picking his large ear, the Emperor calmly shook his head.

“Shall I go?”

“…….”

“Huh? They say dragons come when you call them.”

Seeing Lueld just entering the entrance of the Great Church, Variel exclaimed.

“Huh? Hey! I told you to bring the kid, why the hell did you come alone?”

…….

“What’s wrong with that guy?”

His gait was very unusual.

He walked listlessly, as if his soul had departed, looking precarious as if he might collapse at any moment.

“L-Lady Ermina! You mustn’t do this!”

“…….”

On the other side, a woman who looked in poor condition—her complexion pale and cold sweat pouring down—scanned the area, spotted Lueld, and began to stagger toward him.

“W-Wait! Ermina? What’s wrong?”

Fortunately, the Empress caught her just as she was about to fall.

“…….”

She didn’t know the reason.

Yet, due to this inexplicable sense of foreboding, she had no choice but to force her exhausted body to stand.

They told her she just had to wait, but she couldn’t bear to wait even a moment.

“Luel…d?”

“…….”

Lueld, who showed a sluggish reaction even after discovering Ermina.

“Where is… Kariel?”

“…….”

His lips moved several times as if to say something, but in the end, no words came out.

Only clutching the piece of paper in his hand.

Lueld simply embraced Ermina, who was staring at him blankly, in silence.

“Lueld? Why? You said you were coming with Kariel. Where is our child? Where is he?”

“…I’m sorry.”

He didn’t know what to say.

Even an apology, even an expression of regret.

Lueld felt that even those were inappropriate now.

He couldn’t… bring himself to utter even that one phrase fully.

Outside, cheers of celebration still rang out intermittently, and a joyful commotion continued periodically.

But in one corner of the Great Church, a terribly heavy atmosphere descended along with a profound silence.