Chapter 34: ??

This is.

It is not a matter of resisting or not.

The barrier of pure white flames is as stubborn as the very wall of the world.

But was it merely stubborn?

A heat that incinerates the entire body.

The resulting pain was indescribably horrific.

‘I won’t succumb to this!’

But I could not yield to this.

Not to something like this!

Moreover, being dragged along by the whims of an oppressor…

I simply could not tolerate it.

Elhermina.

I fully understood how she viewed me.

However, accepting that was another matter entirely.

I.

I will never accept her coercion.

As if I would meekly surrender to such tyranny.

…….

………….

“Enough. It is finished.”

Resistance was futile.

My will was as pitiful as a candle flame before a storm.

If that thing were human.

Could the world be this unfair?

Cruel.

Brutal.

…But.

“Accept it. This is your destiny.”

From now on.

“Your destiny belongs solely to me.”

The heart dies, and the will plummets.

Resolve shatters, and hope collapses.

Like a doll without a soul.

As if it had always been this way.

I followed her back to the capital.

However.

…That did not mean a reunion with my parents.

She knew me far too well.

Deep within the Imperial Palace.

In a room without windows, in a place whose location I did not even know.

There, I wait only for her to arrive.

“If it is difficult, do not think.”

Is it not nothing but pain?

She instructed.

She asked for my thoughts and comforted me, but.

All of it happened according to her intentions.

Yet, perhaps for me, this was the best possible outcome.

“…Why did it turn out like this? I didn’t… want this.”

Seras, whom I met after a long time, was in a terrible state.

But I didn’t care.

Because if I started thinking, my head would ache.

I decided not to think.

I am dead anyway.

Close the heart. Lock it away.

Only for the moments I welcome her.

Keep the heart closed.

She loves me.

She cherishes me.

If I were to try and strangle her.

She would smile and accept the result.

That is the kind of person she is.

…She is my savior.

My redeemer.

Because I have no more hope, nothing left.

Other than the moments I spend with her, nothing else.

…Was of any use.

“Tiresome.”

An unknown voice keeps scratching at my eardrums.

My chest feels tight, and occasionally I cannot breathe.

But it’s okay.

I just need to take the potion she gave me.

Let’s not think.

Thinking only brings pain and hardship.

If I just act spoiled like this, she gives me everything I want and everything I wish to do.

I pluck at the lute.

Even without relying on the potion, this is enough.

“Your expression has brightened quite a bit.”

Perhaps because I stopped relying on useless things.

My relationship with her became smoother than before.

No, even before, it was truly affectionate and kind… anyway, it must have been an ideal relationship beyond words.

“Are you really okay with this?”

Seras asked.

Only she visited periodically to clean this vast space and then leave.

Aside from Elhermina, only Seras, she alone, visits this place.

I like being alone.

This is what I wanted.

It was not a choice I made because she wanted it.

I am sincere.

I am always waiting for her.

Only when we are together, only when we become one.

Do we become complete.

Like the sun and the moon, when we are apart, it is so lonely and desolate that it is almost painful.

Let’s not think.

I pluck the lute.

Endlessly.

Endlessly.

Until I even forget myself.

Continuously, I spread the melody.

-He’s completely gone.

……?

A voice drifted in from somewhere.

-This shouldn’t be happening.

I don’t know.

It felt like something important, but I don’t know.

Let’s not recall it.

It’s hard.

I’ve suffered enough.

I don’t want to try hard anymore.

Even breathing was difficult.

Every time I opened my eyes, I hated that today had come; I was afraid, and it was even painful.

I was always afraid to fall asleep.

Because tomorrow would come.

That’s why I struggled so hard to keep my eyes open.

And because of that, it was even more painful.

I couldn’t hear the words properly.

Why can’t you understand?

Wake up.

Are you joking?

Why do you live like that?

Aren’t you ashamed to face your parents?

How long are you going to live like that?

No matter what I did, there was no exit for me.

Let us pray.

Let us pray.

Even the time I spent locked in a room doing nothing but praying felt peaceful now.

But being shut away in a small room praying was actually better.

Unable to sleep at night, unable to eat properly, training, studying, being summoned here and there.

Being cursed, insulted, despised, scolded, mocked, compared, criticized, nagged, lectured, disregarded, sworn at, slandered, jeered…….

I hated opening my eyes.

I want to block my ears.

I wish I were deaf.

I wish I were blind.

If I could feel nothing.

I wouldn’t have been in pain.

Even the air is frightening, like needles piercing my lungs.

In truth, perhaps the world harbors malice toward me.

I wasn’t born to be blessed.

I wasn’t born to be loved.

…But to be cursed.

Perhaps that is why I was born.

“It’s okay.”

Because I am here.

Because I am here.

As long as you have me, isn’t that enough?

“……That’s right.”

As long as I have you.

You are enough.

“I wish time would just stop like this. The more I look at you, the more beautiful you are. My own El. Kariel. Kal.”

Even if the entire world harbored malice toward me.

Only she, in this world….

Don’t ● me.

● forget ●●.

Because only ● is ●● you.

So ● me too.

Like ●●.

● me.

You’ll ● me, right?

Hurry and come to ●.

●, I’ve been ●●●● all along.

“…….”

As the days passed.

The strange voice in my head grew louder and louder.

Is it an auditory hallucination?

Or perhaps a ghost?

-What a sight. Nothing has changed for months? At this point, I have to admit he’s gone mad.

By the way.

-What about the contract with me? You weren’t the kind of guy who lacked responsibility to the point of forgetting that.

…I cannot hear.

-Is it autism? This is driving me crazy. It’s not a big deal that there’s no one I can talk to, but it really pisses me off when a toy breaks like this.

…….

-If it was going to be broken, I should have been the one to break it. But this guy is the kind of guy who’s beautiful when he’s not broken, right? Even if the world is stubborn, there’s a limit.

What is it lamenting so much?

Though I can hear it, it’s like a sound echoing from beyond this world, in another realm.

-Or maybe there really was no dream or hope in this world. To think the Hero who supposedly saved the world ended up in this state… how on earth does the structure of Cause and Effect work for it to be like this? Though the other brats seemed perfectly fine….

…I don’t know.

I was sleepy, so I just closed my eyes.

I had hated falling asleep so much.

I had been so afraid of closing my eyes.

These days, I close my eyes without a second thought.

It is actually hard not to think when I open my eyes.

But when I fall asleep, it’s okay.

I can forget everything.

Even the heart and will that tell me I must forget.

In an instant.

…….

……….

-I’ve been watching your younger sibling lately, and it’s quite a sight.

…….

-They say she possesses a talent bestowed by heaven, and since she’s perfect in personality, she’s exalted to the heavens, yet she remains modest and humble. Even merciful. Wow, I mean… Lueld and Ermina can’t even find anything to criticize; they’re actually at the point of receiving advice.

How about that? A stark contrast to you, right?

“…….”

-Still no reaction. I haven’t drugged him, but there’s no reaction even when I stimulate his trauma.

“…….”

Thump.

Thump.

“Ah.”

I hear it.

The sound of footsteps.

-Eh? He reacts to that? What is he, a pet? If he had a tail, he would’ve shaken it frantically because his owner arrived.

“…….”

-Well, whatever. I’ll stop poking around now. I don’t know if you can’t see me or if you’re just grit-teethedly ignoring me.

Anyway, don’t forget.

-The contract will grip your scruff even after you die. Without letting go.

Why they were so obsessed with contracts in the Demon Realm, another name for hell.

-Find out after you’ve died once. For now, just keep on practicing your breathing exercises and enjoy rolling around and making out with the Princess… no, she’ll be the Empress soon, anyway, with her.

Even so.

It will be a fleeting life.

-……Wait. But is this right?

Screech—

For the first time in a very long while.

The sound of metal friction was heard.

I had never heard it until now.

I instinctively looked up into the air.

No, not there.

The ceiling.

No, not even the ceiling.

Deeper than that.

A deep place.

-Eh? Ah, no way? Was it that?

Yes.

From a place much deeper than that.

Someone.

This way.

――Is watching.

A large finger comes toward me.

And then.

Pop.

The world burst effortlessly.

As if.

Someone had playfully touched and popped a small bubble.

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