Chapter 41: Poison Jelsl

★★★★★ 5.0/5.0

-I almost died eating this. What happened was, the moment I put one in my mouth-

Zzzing~! Lightning flashed through my head.

Oh?

Bababa bam~bam~ba~ba~bam~ (Nurungji OST)

Oooooh?

The universe came to mind, the sound of the Big Bang echoed, and the dining table flipped up and down as the word [Bliss] floated up. It was so delicious I actually started to cry.

I offered it to my girlfriend, who asked why I was crying.

The moment she put it in her mouth, she struggled to spit it out. Unable to, she forced herself to chew and swallow, then tried to smash my crown with her high heel.

My girlfriend said it tasted like the food of baby penguins mixed in the stomachs of parent penguins.

So I put the last one in my mouth.

A red-haired boy handed over a dish, and the vision of scantily-clad women flashed through my mind.

When my girlfriend asked what it tasted like, I told her that, and almost got two high heels stuck in my head.

If you’re lucky, it’s indescribably delicious. Highly recommended.

***

Once, he left malicious comments on SLimelove’s videos, but now he’s a devoted follower-an office worker.

His shoulders were riding high.

For him, Chuseok is a day for emotional labor.

When are you getting married? When are you changing jobs? How much money have you saved? Don’t waste it, save up and buy a house.

He used to hold back, then blow off the stress from all the nagging at home by venting on the internet.

Up until last year.

This year was different.

He elegantly wrapped up the <Slime> he’d been squirreling away bit by bit and handed them out.

That alone completely changed the things coming out of his relatives’ mouths.

It’s not about the price, it’s the thought that counts.

He’s always had a knack for these things since he was young.

Look at how bright his face is-he’ll meet a good partner soon.

It was even more welcome than the department store hanwoo his older brother gave.

And that wasn’t the end.

When word spread that it was good for treating adult diseases, thank you texts started pouring in.

Getting this much recognition from his relatives made his back and shoulders straighten right up.

His good fortune didn’t end there.

These days, he’s doing well at work too.

Once he started thinking with <Slime> at the center, it all worked out.

Selling <Slime> directly is a violation of the alchemy law.

Even using it as a promotional item is risky.

Stores that distributed <Slime> to customers through a drawing got hit with immediate business suspensions.

Other companies shrank back, but the office worker found courage.

He staked his neck and negotiated directly with the president.

If he couldn’t sell alchemy products directly, why not sell something else? They weren’t banned from producing added value.

His latest idea.

Like the <Pack Slime Case>.

The Alchemy Center doesn’t care a bit about package design. Even <Insole Slime> is sold in something like a school indoor shoe bag.

Well, the main customers for <Insole Slime> are men, and it’s a throwaway product, so maybe that’s fine.

But selling <Pack Slime> in a cheap cookie tin plastered with warning labels? That’s crossing the line.

It really isn’t pretty.

Packaging is half the battle in cosmetics!

So he designed and sold a case to store used <Pack Slime>.

At first, sales were slow, but after commissioning an ad from the W-tuber BeautyLime, famous as a <Slime> enthusiast, every batch churned out of the factory sold out.

This year’s promotion is guaranteed.

A hefty bonus and a salary increase are also in the bag.

His luck with money didn’t end there.

Whenever Alchemy Slime released a new product or a new effect of <Slime> was discovered, the stock market went wild.

There was a time when he was swayed by the voices of internet ghosts, but now he tossed them into the blue sea.

Now that he judges for himself, connecting everything to <Slime>.

His stock portfolio glowed red like a rising sun.

After meeting Alchemy Slime, his life, which had been slowly sinking into a dark swamp, rebounded.

His faith in Alchemy Slime had already entered the realm of blind devotion.

To the point where he could pop a <Random Jelly Slime (Extremely Spicy Flavor)> into his mouth without hesitation.

The moment <Jelly Slime> touched his teeth, the flavor exploded.

A bitterness like rubbing the root of your tongue with a tree root.

It stuck to the inside of his mouth like cheap pumpkin taffy that refuses to let go.

A year ago, he would have cursed and spat it out no matter what.

But now, he was different.

As he chewed the <Jelly Slime> thoroughly, he thought,

The <Slime> Challenge is bound to blow up.

Should I buy shares in MCNs with mukbangers in preparation?

No, I need to take it one step further.

Mukbangers who’ll gain new popularity through the <Slime> Challenge.

They need to film new videos before their momentum fades.

But since <Slime> supply isn’t easy, they’ll have to look for other video topics.

They’ll turn to other challenge products.

As more diverse videos are uploaded to video sites, the products and company are naturally promoted.

That company’s stock is bound to surge!

Volatility is a chance for profit.

Before he knew it, he swallowed the now-smooth <Jelly Slime> and offered a prayer of thanks to Alchemy Slime.

Believe in Slime.

Your life will be saved.

***

Today’s mukbang is this.

A devilish snack that has taken over the snack world like a comet.

Some say it tastes heavenly, others say it’s hellish.

If you win, you instantly become the star of your class-a magical food.

<Random Jelly Slime (Extremely Spicy Flavor)>

1,000 pieces.

Just kidding.

If I ate a large quantity in this atmosphere, the comments would be flooded with people asking for my home address and how my parents are doing.

<Random Jelly Slime (Extremely Spicy Flavor)>

-A slime whose flavor is unknown until you put it in your mouth. Because it’s extremely spicy, half of them are filled with mischief.

The biggest feature of this slime is its extremely polarized flavor.

You might taste the best flavor I can make.

Or you might taste the worst flavor I can make.

There is no middle ground.

Don’t worry.

No matter how sour, it won’t melt your enamel.

No matter how spicy, it won’t make your nose run or your eyes water.

No matter how sweet, you won’t even get a headache.

No matter how disgusting, it won’t make you gag.

It’s designed not to trigger human reflex responses.

So you can fully experience the flavor.

Once you put it in your mouth, it becomes extremely sticky, so even if you want to spit it out, you can’t.

You’re free to put it in your mouth, but not to spit it out, huh?

It’s not like it stays that way forever. As you chew, it smoothly transforms as if pretending it was never gooey, sliding down your throat with a gulp.

The price per piece is 5,000 won. Enough to buy a meal at the university cafeteria.

It’s expensive.

Rather than targeting regular consumers, this slime was made for filming videos or pranking others.

It’s an item that belongs more in the toy category than the edible one.

I didn’t just put in awful flavors.

Who would play a gacha game where you only get duds?

I interpreted flavors that humans can’t perceive but slimes can, and added them in.

A flavor that, no matter how much money you have, only I can create.

I guarantee that once you taste it, you’ll never forget it.

The probability of getting these flavors is…

About the same as pulling a 5-star in a gacha game?

Those who are meant to win, will win.

Those who aren’t, won’t, no matter what.

But even the winners can’t quite explain what the flavor is.

All they can say is…

“Insanely delicious.”

“A flavor you can’t taste anywhere else.”

That’s about it.

A special flavor that even the richest of the rich can’t experience.

If you’re lucky, you can experience it for just 5,000 won.

Can you resist?

Well, I don’t think this trend will last very long.

Just like how bread that people once rushed to buy during open-runs often ends up on half-price sales near expiration a few months later.

Popularity that inflates so rapidly tends to fizzle out just as quickly.

Still, my original plan to enter the alchemy potion market has been achieved.

I won’t be labeled as a one-trick pony with alchemy tools anymore, right?

By the way, I feel like it’s about time to release a new alchemy tool.

I released the <Mosquito Repellent> slime in July.

After that, I made <Singing Slime> and <Penguin Slime>, but those were for events, not for sale as products.

Isn’t there anything worth selling?

<Cooling Slime> isn’t bad, but it’s too big. And expensive.

Hmm… Let’s film a mukbang first and think about it.

Today’s real mukbang is this.

Something that, if sold to nobles in the past, might fetch a price higher than jewels.

A lump of sugar that adds sweetness upon sweetness.

A food perfect for October, when delicious seasonal fruits are abundant.

Tanghulu.

In other words, fruit coated in sugar.

But making it the usual way would be boring, right?

There’s something called vinyl tanghulu made using paper cups.

It’s a method of creating a long, hollow tube of sugar using a paper cup to coat the fruit.

I took it a step further.

I place a slime pretending to be melted sugar on a heated iron plate.

I wrap the melted slime around the end of a hollow tube.

I connect the other end of the tube to an air pump and blow air to shape it.

I detach the air pump and pour a liquid made of boiled gelatin mixed with ground fruit into the tube.

Once it cools, a jelly candy that looks quite similar to <Jelly Slime> is complete.

It’d be pretty funny if an Alchemy Slime mistakenly thought this was how <Jelly Slime> is made, copied it, and filmed a <Jelly Slime> mukbang, only for the sound of crunching sugar to come out.

The real <Jelly Slime> makes a jjin~ppum! sound.

Up to this point, others might be able to replicate it… maybe?

I’m not sure, but next time, let’s make something they absolutely can’t copy.

I place a metal rod against the end of the sugar lump and spin the tube round and round. I put an apple in the gap that forms and close it again.

An apple trapped inside a smooth orb, complete.

Next is pomegranate.

I made a fancy glass that looks like something a king might have used long ago and embedded pomegranate like jewels.

Next is persimmon.

In this way, I made a few sugar decorations that make you wonder, ‘Can that even be done?’

The finale is a tanghulu that you’d think is absolutely impossible.

When I strongly step on the air pump, the sugar lump detaches from the tube and floats up like a soap bubble.

I tilted my head back and caught it in my mouth.

Air tanghulu.

Should I make some smaller ones besides this big one?

I coated a grid with slime pretending to be sugar and stirred it once.

Hollow orb slimes rained down onto the table.

Pretty easy, right?

But this air tanghulu…

Even I think the chewing sound is a work of art.

***

[Me: No recommended products?

Makina: ?

Me: New products.

Makina: Pure Jelsl and Poison Jelsl are selling well, aren’t they?

Me: Not edible ones, new products on the tool side.

Me: <Jelly Slime> came out thanks to you.

Me: Thanks again.

Makina: How about targeting the three basic desires?]

The three basic desires.

Appetite, sexual desire, and the desire for sleep.

These three are fundamental human desires that will never disappear, forming an unshakable market.

Appetite is firmly taken by <Jelly Slime>.

I’m not sure about satisfying sexual desire, but for vitality, <Pack Slime> is positioned there.

Next, I should target the desire for sleep.

Since I’m thinking of making alchemy tools, not potions, I’ll skip sleeping pills.

For starters, how about making a simple pillow?

[Me: Adult slime?

Me: Whoa]

The god of probability suddenly killed my character.

[Me: Arghhh!

Me: Isn’t this unfair?

Makina: Divine punishment?

Me: What did I do wrong!

Makina: Gacha slime.

Me: Your Honor, my house slime did it.

Makina: How about a slime that boosts luck?

Me: If such a thing exists, I want it first.]

***

[<Random Jelly Slime (extremely spicy flavor)> as a household remedy-here’s why.]

“Seriously…. How could I have predicted this.”

There are so many diseases in the world.

My <Slime> is desperate because it can’t eat them.